I forgot to post the Friday Five last week, even though I mostly did one. So here we go:
1. If you have to bath in a tub full of jello, what flavor would you choose, and would you sneak a few bites of the jello?
Cherry jello, of course. It is the greatest of the jello flavors. I eat a single-serving container of cherry jello almost every day with lunch. Yes, I would sneak some bites of the jello if I was sure that I was the only one who had been in it. It is gross to eat someone else’s used jello.
2. If you could be a superhero for a day, whom would you choose to be? Would you fight crime, or would you use your hero-for-a-day to just do evil things?
I think I would be Aquaman. I have always enjoyed entertainments of the underwater variety–swimming, snorkeling, body surfing, etc. But I have never had frequent enough access to the ocean that I’ve been able to advance to next level in any of those pursuits (scuba diving, surfing, etc.). As Aquaman, I wouldn’t need any special expensive equipment to enjoy those activities, and I would have the inherent talents that would make training and practice unnecessary.
So no, I wouldn’t fight crime OR do evil things. I’d just hang out with the fishes and the ocean mammals. The seals would tell me their secrets, then give me a kiss. If someone asked me what they said, I would reply, “My lips are sealed.”
3. One day while digging in your back yard you discover an old toaster. Do
you A) bury it cause you hate toast or b) run to that bagel store cause just the thought of something toasted makes you hungry?
This reminds me of the time I found a stapler on my parents’ lawn back in high school. It’s a really good stapler, and I use it to this day. Because of my positive experience with scavenged office supplies, I’d have to go with the bagel option. I mean, why not? I enjoy bagels. Wait, does the toaster have dirt on it? I like cream cheese on my bagels, or possibly butter, but not dirt.
4. Upon washing your hair one day in the shower you discover 4 ticks imbedded in your scalp. Who would you call to tell first?
I think I would call the Internet to find out if this is something I can take care of on my own. Here’s how our conversation would go.
Me: Hello? Is this the Internet?
Internet: Yes. I’m terribly, terribly busy, but I always have time for you, darling.
Me: Rad. Thanks. So…hey, I have this problem.
Internet: What could possibly be wrong, my sweet? Too rich? Too thin?
Me: Neither, but thanks for the suggestions. No…see…I’ve got these ticks on my head. I think they’re imbedded in there.
Internet: That’s truly vile.
Me: Yeah, I know. I’m not proud of it. It’s pretty weird, too, considering I haven’t been in the woods since like 1997.
Internet: You are a disgusting human being.
Me: You’re pretty hot and cold. Geez.
Internet: Set your hair on fire.
Me: Listen, I’ve gotta go now.
Internet: Never call me again.
Then I’d call Denny, who would sensibly take me to the hospital or something.
5. What is your favorite chocolate covered food? If they covered hamburger in chocolate, would you use ketchup?
My favorite chocolate covered food is probably toffee. Although I actually prefer the toffee part to the chocolate part, so maybe that doesn’t count. I like chocolate but don’t (usually) deeply crave it like a lot of people do.
If they covered hamburger in chocolate, I would put a little pink bow on top of it and take a picture. Then I would put the picture on my desk and tell people it was my baby.