And to think, I always thought Spencer Gifts was awesome enough for selling novelty t-shirts and fake poop and stuff.  Apparently they use to be much, much awesomer:

ALSO:  I hope there are no hidden cameras in my cubicle, because I seriously boogie when good songs come on iTunes.  I am currently doing a little shoulder-shrugging air maracas dance to a mashup of G-Unit’s “In da Club” and Queen’s “We Will Rock You.”

Happy 31st anniversary, Mom and Dad. Nicely done so far. Keep up the good work.

—

I made a really easy, really tasty caramel sauce the other day. It was so stupidly easy I should do it all the time, and it’s so much better than that corn syrup + food color that gets passed of as caramel sauce in the grocery store. Note: this does contain corn syrup, but it’s, you know, better. I used it on a bastardized version of a turtle pie, which is a concoction my family used to get at Baskin Robbins back when there was a Baskin Robbins in Ames. There’s none in Iowa City, either, so i haven’t had a genuine one in over a decade. My fake version was good, though, made better with the homemade caramel. If I were really awesome I would have made the other elements from scratch, too, but I was also seeking out a convenience element.

First, the caramel, which could be used in many applications. I imagine it would be good drizzled on peaches, over ice cream, or used as a dip for whatever you felt like dipping in it (say, fingers, but let it cool a bit first).

Caramel sauce

3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup light corn syrup
3/4 cup whipping cream
1/2 tsp salt (optional but recommended)

Combine first three ingredients plus salt in a heavy medium saucepan over medium heat. Stir frequently until the sugar is dissolved. Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a boil. Allow to boil without stirring, occasionally swirling the pan and brushing down the sides with a wet pastry brush, until dark amber in color. This will take 10-15 minutes; watch it carefully, because it’s like nothing-nothing-nothing-nothing-nothing-nothing-nothing-almostdone-done.  Remove from heat, then add cream, which will boil up outrageously.  Stir to blend and dissolve any bits that got hardened from the cold cream.
Allow to cool well before sticking your finger in there. It is delicious but deadly thus far. Refrigerate to store; if it becomes too viscous, you can microwave it a bit to loosen it up.

Turtle Pie

(All ingredients can be purchased unless you’re a real keener, in which case make them yourself. I’m sure it would be great that way.)

Oreo cookie pie crust
Hot fudge sauce
Pralines and cream ice cream, softened (enough to fill the pie crust, maybe a pint? I guess it depends on your crust.)
Caramel sauce
Pecan halves

Heat the hot fudge sauce until it’s pourable. Pour about half a cup into the pie crust, or whatever it takes to coat the whole inside. Don’t try to smear it around too much, because you will end up compromising the structural integrity of the crust (the heat from the hot fudge will melt the fat in the crust, making it more prone to coming apart). Put in a freezer for at least 10-15 minutes.

Spread softened ice cream on top of crust/fudge. Smoosh it down as smooth as you can. This is fun. Refreeze again for a pretty long time, like at least an hour.

Warm up the caramel sauce if necessary. Pour on top of ice cream and move it around to cover the whole pie. Again, don’t smear with too much zeal or it will get homogenized.

Decorate with pecan halves. Freeze for several hours or until firm.