Dear Miles,

I wasn’t sure I was going to keep doing these after month 12, but so much has happened this month that it seems a shame not to write about it.  Besides, you’re still my favorite guy, so why should I stop acknowledging your monthly milestones?

This month marked some really important things for you.  You started going to Jessa’s house three mornings a week, which was hard at first but is getting better every time.  I think you’re beginning to see Jessa as one of your trusted big people, and you and Jonah are pretty hilarious together.  You don’t really play together, per se, but it’s cool to watch you manage a world in which you’re not the only little dude.

I’ve been working on a film this month that’s been taking a lot of time away from you, and I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.  I am really looking forward to it being done so we can have quiet weekends together again, with walks around the neighborhood and trips to the library and leisurely lunches. It will be over before your 14-month birthday, I promise.

The separation anxiety (for both of us) has been a kind of hard, though it’s getting a lot better at Jessa’s.  Yesterday, however, daddy’s cousin Katie came over to babysit you for a couple of hours, and it didn’t take you long to figure out that I was leaving without you.  It still chokes me up a little to think about the way you stood with your face pressed into my knees, crying so loudly that I could still hear you after I went out the front door.  It was bad timing—you were ready for a nap.  Sadly, Katie said you cried for forty minutes until you finally fell asleep.  When you woke up your dad was home, and he assured me that you felt much better.

Grandma Cheryl came to visit today, and when she first arrived, I guess you thought she was another babysitter.  It didn’t take you long to realize we weren’t leaving, though, and that Grandma Cheryl is lots of fun.

You took your first significant steps this month too.  As I mentioned in the video we took of the event, I had always envisioned you taking your first steps into your dad’s or my outstretched arms, but instead you found a big box you wanted to knock over.  You’d stand up, walk to the box, push it down, laugh, and repeat.  You’re still nervous about walking very far, but your confidence is growing every day, and soon you’ll be all over the place, I’m sure.

Your sleeping habits have much improved in recent weeks.  You’re happier to sleep in your crib for longer stretches, though you still spend most of the night with us.  But your dad and I have been able to catch up on some TV shows and have a little time together in the evenings, which makes everybody happy.

I went back to work half-time, and while I don’t regret for a moment the year I spent at home with you, it’s kind of nice to be back in the grownup world.  I do miss you, though.  Your dad and I have been staying for a few minutes to play when we drop you off at Jessa’s, and I always want to just stay there and watch you and Jonah yank on the cat and knock over blocks and bang the xylophone.

One cute thing that you’ve been doing is trying to imitate your dad and me when we snap our fingers.  You haven’t figured out how to make any noise, but you move your fingers and smile excitedly. You’re just so ready and enthusiastic about participating in the grown-up world.  You want bites of my cereal instead of your Elmo-O’s.  You never want to be left out of anything.

Today your dad installed your big-boy carseat, a front-facing model that lets you see outside.  You seemed a little confused at first.  You looked around and said “Da-da,” maybe surprised that you could see him.

Welcome to the big-kid world, Miles.  It’s all forward-facing from here.