Sweet Miles,

This morning I asked you if Anthony is still your best friend, or if you have a new one.  I asked because lately at pick-up time from school, I’ve mostly seen you playing with Aster or Damari.  You said that Anthony is still your best friend and will always be.  Then I asked how you decided Anthony was your best friend, and you said, “He just decided it.”

I guess there are worse things.

In any case, school seems to still be going well for you.  I came to help at your class Halloween party, and it was fun seeing you in your classroom.  Your costume was a big hit—your teachers and classmates seemed to really like it, and you seemed proud of your hard work and creativity.  The after-school segment of the party was a little much for you.  The loud music and shrieking kids kind of overwhelmed you, but you were happy once you got some popcorn.

Again I witnessed the difference between your old school and your new one.  Another mom I know whose kids went to Willowwind and then changed to public school for kindergarten told me the hardest thing for them was sitting still.  That’s very counter to the Montessori philosophy, which encourages kids to work on what interests them, change to a new task when it feels right, and basically exercise free judgment as long as it doesn’t disrupt others.  It was difficult for you to stay in your seat to play the game your teacher wanted you to play.  You weren’t disruptive by any means, but if you wanted to go grab your water bottle from the water bottle area, you went and did it.  If you wanted to tell me something or check on Tobin, you just got up and did it.  Your teacher had to remind you several times to stay seated.

This made me feel conflicted.  She’s in a classroom with 24 students, so obviously she needs to maintain order.  The classroom would be in chaos if students didn’t mostly stay in their seats most of the time.  But on the other hand, unless you’re going to be a career military person, sitting still and keeping your mouth shut doesn’t seem like a very useful life skill.  Part of being a responsible member of society is being able to meet your own needs (e.g., getting your water bottle) and make your own choices within the bounds of decorum.

I guess an important life lesson is to know when to follow the rules and when to break them.  I’ve not seen a lot of incentives at your school for creative thinking and critical decision-making, so I guess we’ll have to work on that at home.

I don’t mean to malign your school, because you’re really learning a lot.  Your reading is taking off wonderfully, and your list of “sight words” is growing all the time.  You seem a little hung up on the idea that you can only read words you’ve been taught in school, though.  Your dad and I are trying to build your confidence by helping you sound out words, which you can do very well.  But for some reason, unless it comes from the sanctioned worksheets you do at school, you don’t think it counts.  Your parent-teacher conference is coming up next week, so maybe I can ask your teacher for suggestions on enrichment activities that we can disguise as homework.

Photo by Denny

You’ve been building great castles and robots and houses out of your various block sets lately.  It can be pretty frustrating when your brother destroys them, but you also have a tendency to freak out over small problems.  We’re not a yelling-and-screaming kind of family, so it’s important to teach you how to prioritize your reactions.  We’ve used the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” metaphor lots of times, and you even mentioned that you read it at school with your big-kid reading buddy.  The message hasn’t sunk in yet, as far as I can tell.

Your current favorite foods and drinks are hot chocolate with marshmallows, hot dogs, orange juice, and popcorn.  You still like pasta, but you only like short noodles with tomato sauce. Spaghetti must be served without tomato sauce.  I don’t know why.  You’ve been trying more foods at snack time at school, so that’s a positive peer pressure element.  You like Curious George, Angry Birds, Minecraft, and the color red.

I love that you’re still my sweet little boy.  You still love your bedtime cuddles, and we have our unbreakable ritual of four stories.  I cut it down to three the other night because you were making life difficult for everyone, and boy was that ever traumatic (for both of us).  I don’t know if it was the fact that you were being punished that upset you or just the disruption of your routine, but wow.  In any case, I enjoy bedtime with you too.  I’m getting a little sick of the limited variety of your story selections, but I’m still glad I get to read them to you.  Tobin stays in your room for two stories before your dad takes him to put him to bed in his room, and you absolutely require that he blow you a kiss as he leaves the room.  Sometimes you’ll even deign to blow him a kiss, too.

I’m looking forward to the upcoming holidays.  You’ll have fun with your cousins and grandparents, and of course there’s nothing like the joy a kid feels about all the trappings of Christmas.  Your smile is infectious, and you’re so funny and tender when you want to be.  Have a good remainder of the fall, sweetheart.  I love you more than Halloween candy.

Photo by Denny

Love,

Mommy