4/18/2005

Dance dance dance

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:55 am

I added a song request message forum to the wedding website, so if you have a favorite song that you absolutely must hear, post a message there. We already have a pretty decent playlist forming, but I’m always open to suggestions.

I apologize for the obnoxious pop-up ads. Such is the nature of a free service.

This weekend I addressed approximately one buttload of invitations. This whole wedding planning thing has made me much more sensitive to the challenges involved with assembling a guest list. It’s really, really hard! Our space only holds 200 people, and Denny’s family is giant. It really sucks to have to cut friends because of obligatory invitations to second cousins neither of us really knows. Our list already has like 310 people on it. I’m hoping people have a lot of conflicts and can’t come.

When an old college roommate of mine got married a couple of years ago, I was kind of hurt that I wasn’t invited. But looking back on it now, I completely understand her perspective. There are so many people I wish I could invite that I just can’t. Honestly, I hadn’t talked to the roommate in probably a year, so it made sense to snip me. Heck, I’m not inviting her, and it’s not an act of revenge or anything. It’s just such a tricky balancing act, and if I haven’t talked to someone in a year, that’s a pretty good indicator that he/she belongs on the cutting room floor.

There’s this wedding-related message board that I follow, and someone made a comment that when she first started thinking about her wedding, her main goals were that it be relaxed and fun. Now she’s having nightmares about it. I feel the exact same way. I hate that I’m getting so stressed out about something that’s supposed to be a joyous event, and there are so many cultural expectations and potential hurt feelings. I hate that every obligatory invitation to someone I barely know and haven’t seen in eight years means cutting a friend. I hate that no matter how sensitive I try to be to people’s concerns, there will be resentment, because every choice has a consequence.

*sigh*

I’m tired. It’s Monday. Please cheer me up by requesting lots of awesome rock-out songs.

4 responses to “Dance dance dance”

  1. Lettie says:

    When I got married I had my reception the day after my wedding. My grandma told me how inconvienent that was. I told her – “EVERYTHING about a wedding is inconvient.” She said nothing else. Really, it’s your day and you have a right to do things the way you want and invite who you want and so on. The people who care about you the most will understand and recognize that you aren’t doing things to hurt them, but you’re doing things for you because the whole thing is about you anyway!

  2. jack says:

    I suppose I understand how people’s feelings could be hurt. But, honestly, although my wedding was very nice and many friends and family members I care about were there in support, I honestly don’t remember exactly which friends and family did or did not make it to the ceremony, at least not without resorting to a review of the photographic evidence. There are probably people who came, wished me luck, brought presents, and are forgotten simply because they aren’t in one of the pictures.

    I guess what I mean is: all wounds will heal, and the stress you feel right now about which people to invite is unlikely to have an impact on your relationships ten years down the line, and will certainly not be the memories you carry with you. So chill, and embrace the expectation that everyone else should do the same.

    On the other hand, should you fail to invite me, I will never speak to you again.

    (um, lighthearted ironic vocal tone doesn’t transmit well over the internets, huh?)

  3. denise says:

    i have the perfect solution! i will hold an aprille-and-mecial-have-too-many-friends-because-they-are-such-nice-ies party at my place across town. we’ll play video games and do things that are rude to do at fancy weddings, like fart. EVERYONE is invited!

  4. cheryl says:

    Invite your friends because when all is said and done there will be room for them. It will work out.

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