Warning: this story is gross. I strongly advise you to stop reading right now if you are the queasy type. It’s not gross in that it involves zombies eating squishy brains or anything; it’s gross in an “I can imagine exactly what that’s like, and it’s awful” kind of way.
OK, so this morning I was getting ready for my run in the dark. That is, the getting ready was in the dark; I don’t run in the dark, but I get changed in the dark so as not to disturb Denny. I keep my socks and running shoes downstairs by the treadmill so as not to get confused about right/left issues in the dark.
I was feeling rather smug, because I woke up naturally about five minutes before my alarm went off, which meant that I would get to run at a slower pace and still cover the same distance. It’s always nice when that happens. It’s easier to face the morning at a gentle jog than a bat-out-of-hell gallop.
Aside: you know that toenail fungus commercial where the creepy little troll guy lifts up a toenail like the hood of a car? I warn you, this story is going in that direction. You should probably stop reading now.
I was leaving the bedroom (or maybe it was the bathroom; it’s all a hazy mist of pain in my memory now), and I ran the door over my left big toe. Up goes the toenail! Out squirts the blood! Yelp goes the Aprille! I wasn’t sure how bad it was until I got the lights on and examined it. There was (is) a big crack down my toenail. It hasn’t fallen all the way off yet, but once it does (and it undoubted will; as much as you try to tape these things togehter, they never fix themselves), I’ll be out about a third of a toenail. And not the top third, either, where it would grow out all nicely: it’s the right third.
I got it cleaned and bandaged up, and I hobbled downstairs. Thinking to myself “you are crazy” the entire time, I put on my socks and running shoes, thinking I’d just give it a try, since I wasn’t going to get back to sleep anyway. Oddly, jogging was less painful than walking, probably because most of the impact is on my heels and not my toes. I got through my morning mile-and-a-half surprisingly easily.
The rest of the morning (and it’s still not even 8:30) hasn’t been so great. Most of my shoes have high heels, and I didn’t want any extra pressure on the toe. I found some flats, but it’s still no picnic when the top of my toe bumps the inside of the shoe. I wish it were still sandals weather.
Oh, and I stubbed that same toe on the oven while I was making lunch this morning. Crappity crap crap.
In better news: New Lost tonight! Project Runway finale tonight! Cheesecake tonight!