Happy birthday, my dear Tobin!

This has been a month of laughter.  We spent a lot of time in the car listening to audiobooks, and so many times your dad and I exchanged a smile as we listened to you laugh at a funny moment from the book.  As I edited your eighth birthday video, what I noticed most was your laughter–it’s a sound of pure happiness, and it’s what I think of when I think of you.

Over the last four weeks, you’ve taken our biggest family road trip to date, climbed a mountain, ridden a horse, done an escape room, spent ten whole days at Mubby and Skitter’s house, gone to the State Fair to celebrate an award Papa received and other fun fair stuff, turned eight, partied with friends, and started second grade.  Yowza.

At the end of July, we headed westward.  One of your favorite parts of the trip was our evening in Fort Collins, Colorado, where we stayed in a hotel you really enjoyed.  As per the demands of our family, we had a suite, and you really enjoyed kicking back on the couch and watching TV.  It was one of your first experiences in memory watching TV the old-fashioned way (ie, turn it on, surf the channels, and see what’s to see).  It never occurred to me that someone would prefer that to our cable-cutter lifestyle, in which we can watch whatever we want, whenever we want.  But, true to your free-spirited nature, you really liked the spontaneity of you-get-what-you-get programming.  Fort Collins itself was also fun, with a great downtown and lots of family-friendly things to do.

Photo by Denny

Of course, our main purpose in Colorado was to spend time at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park.  You enjoyed many of the activities we had the opportunity to try, and of course you’re always happy to scramble around outside.  We shared a cabin with my friend and her family, and you formed a special friendship with her toddler son.  Sometimes you and Callum clash, and I think you relished the big brother role with a kid with whom you don’t have to share resources.  It was sweet to see you being so kind and helpful to him.  You were an especially good friend when we took a hike up a mountain.  You held his hand and read every signpost along the way out loud for him.

Honestly, the whole trip went even better than I hoped.  I was worried about you three kids during the long drive, but it helped a lot that we borrowed Skitter’s van.  Since each of you had your own space, your bickering was minimal.  You took the back-most seat, and you said it was your own little apartment.  As I mentioned earlier, we listened to audiobooks (including Spy Ski School, which has gotten you interested in the Spy School series).  We also ate a lot of junky snacks and took breaks when we needed them.  Only one person had to pee on the side of the road, and it wasn’t you.

Back in Iowa, we stopped by Ames to drop off the van, you, and Miles.  You had your first of four birthday celebrations there, with ice cream cake and a water park trip with Suzy and Joe.  Then your dad, Callum and I headed back to Iowa City, leaving you and Miles with Mubby and Skitter.

We had originally planned to only leave you for a week, but then we found out that Papa was going to receive an award for being an environmentally-friendly farmer mid-week at the Iowa State Fair.  Rather than cart the whole gang back and forth between central and eastern Iowa an extra time, we got the go-ahead from Mubby and Skitter to extend your visit.  If they got tired of having you around, they didn’t admit it.  Every day I got great pictures and updates of the things you did.  Mubby and Skitter kept you busy.  They took you to movies,  your favorite restaurants, the library, the arcade, fishing, and more.  You also helped Skitter trap some raccoons that were a threat to his beautiful garden.  I might need you to teach me to do that too, because those turds have been a rampant force of destruction at our house this year.  Maybe all the ones you and Skitter caught and released at the park across town from their house in Ames made their way to our neighborhood.

Photo by Gary Clarke

The State Fair trip was a bit rushed but fun.  It was extremely crowded, because Papa’s ceremony happened to be on a particularly beautiful day.  We didn’t make it to many exhibits, though you did enjoy the photography salon.  You really did like the fair snacks, though.  Your favorite was the cookie dough milkshake you got from the Dairy Producers’ stand.  That experience, combined with some techniques you learned from a friend at your second birthday celebration, has inspired you to make milkshakes for your friends later today when you return from your fourth birthday celebration this afternoon.  You had two different small parties with friends due to scheduling conflicts, but extra trips to the trampoline park are no cause for complaint around here (which is good, as we’re still trying to get our money’s worth out of those three-month passes I accidentally bought).

Of course we had a small family party, at which you received your most-desired gift, a skateboard.  I was really impressed by how quickly your skills improved.  On just your second day of riding, you were gliding confidently along the path behind our house.  You’re good about using your helmet and pads, so as potentially dangerous sports go, I guess this one is okay.

Second grade has begun, and I was happy to see your smiling face at the end of the first day.  Even though none of your closest friends is in your class this year, I never worry about your social life.  You make friends wherever you go, and your bright eyes and smile charm everyone.  Your curls are getting wilder every day, and you say you want to grow your hair long like Miles did.  Given your specific hair texture, I could see that getting more wide and tall than long, but that’s a pretty good look too.  If there was ever a head of hair that matched its owner’s personality, its yours.

I hope your eighth year is as joyful and special as you are, my sweet boy.  Your laughter is one of the high points of my life, and I’m so grateful that you share it with me.

Love,

Mommy

4/9/19

I was cuddling Tobin on the couch before school. I had my arms wrapped around him.

T: Your arm smells like Mubby and Skitter’s house.
A: (sniffing and not discerning anything) Really?
T: Yeah, it smells like Joe‘s coffee.
A: Is that different from my coffee?
T: YES.

I haven’t been doing a good job keeping up with these on the blog, but Facebook is ephemeral, so here’s some copy-paste:

8/12/19:

Denny: Hey Google, what’s the temperature?
Mrs. Google: …
Denny, with exaggerated enunciation: Hey Google, what’s the temperature?
Mrs. Google: The temperature in Iowa City is 76 degrees.
Callum: Why did you say that so glorious?

8/10/19

Callum was making me “lunch” with his play kitchen.
C: What would you like?
A: Do you have any chef’s specials to recommend?
C: Yes, steak.
A: That sounds good. What kind of steak?
C: Steak…on the cob.

8/9/19

Callum: What’s the planet with the funniest name?
Aprille: Uranus.
C: No, that’s the coldest planet.
A: Oh. So what’s the planet with the funniest name?
C: Herculee.

7/23/19

Dear Callum,

When Miles describes the life-stages of the kids in our family, he says that he’s a sixth-grader, Tobin is a second-grader, and you’re a homer.  That means you’re not actually in school yet, just a guy who stays home.  Well, that’s not going to be the case for long.  In just a couple of weeks we have back-to-school night, when you’ll visit your new preschool classroom at the same school as your brothers.  Then, just a little over a week after that, you’ll start half-days at preschool.  I think it will be a bit of a shock for you, since you’re still pretty attached to your life as a homer, but I hope being at the building you’ve visited many times and knowing your brothers aren’t too far away helps.  I know it will be good for you to gain some fresh perspectives and learn about school-boy life.

Photo by Denny

We just got back from a big road trip to Colorado, and you had a chance to spend a good amount of time with kids who aren’t your brothers.  You did a good job, and you even did well during the long car ride.  We borrowed Skitter’s van, which was useful in terms of brother-torture prevention.  You had a lot of fun, and just last night you mentioned how much you liked the YMC-Day (aka the YMCA of the Rockies near Estes Park).  I was most impressed by how well you did on our mountain-climb hike.  When we first started out, I was worried, because you really, really wanted your dad or me to carry you.  The combination of high altitude and your body weight made that a very limited-time option, so in the end, you walked almost the whole way.  You did a great job, but I think what you liked best was having cocktail hour with your new friends.  As we were reminiscing about our trip, you wanted to talk about them.  I asked you what their names are, and you claimed to need help (sometimes you feign ignorance just because you like to hear me say things).  I said their names are Sam, Lucas, and Ben, and you said, “That’s not all of them.”  I asked who I was forgetting, and you said, “Sarah and Pete.”  I’m glad you think of my friends as your friends, too.

You also really enjoyed going on a pony ride, hammering along in the drum circle, general running around outside, and swimming.  You were a little nervous about trying the pony ride, but you ended up having so much fun and feeling very proud of yourself.

After our trip was done, we dropped Miles and Tobin off at Mubby and Skitter’s house, so we’ve had lots of Mommy-Callum time over the last week.  We’ve gone to the library, played in our park, done art projects, gone to Tot Time, run errands, and gone to the splash pad.  You even joined your dad and me at a special dinner to celebrate our anniversary.  It’s been fun having the time and energy to pay extra attention to you.

You really miss your brothers—whenever we FaceTime with your brothers, you never want to hang up.  In a couple of days we’ll go pick them up, and then the whole group of us will dead down to the Iowa State Fair.  Your Papa is going to receive a special award for being an environmentally-responsible farmer, so it will be fun to spend time with him, Nana, your brothers, and lots of fried food all at once.

Your dad and I have both noticed how sweet and fun you’ve been lately.  When a well-meaning librarian asked you whether it’s fun to be four, you answered, “Not so much,” but that can’t possibly be true.  You’ve been smiley and cute and funny, mostly good at getting your work done without us having to ask too much, and a cool guy to have around.  I do wish you’d stop swinging your arms around so much, because sometimes you bonk yourself or others, but we’ll keep working on it.

Your current favorites:  Ethan and Cole on YouTube, Knoppers (a German sweet snack we get at Aldi), Robert Munsch bedtime stories, cuddling with your stuffed animal friends and having conversations with them, cooking for me in your play kitchen, and anything that involves spraying water.  We don’t have much summer left, but something tells me the remaining weeks will be drippy and happy.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Miles,

I can’t remember if it happened this way last year too, but this may be the first time I’ve written a Monthly Miles Memo while the two of us are in different cities.  You and Tobin are spending time at Mubby and Skitter’s house, doing all kinds of fun things.  The first time you did it, I think it was only for three or four days.  Then it stretched out into a week, and now, due to some scheduling issues, it’s ten whole days.  I hope Mubby and Skitter don’t fall over from exhaustion after keeping up with you for such a long stretch.  I reminded them to build in some relaxation time, both for your benefit and for theirs.

I’m guessing that will be okay with you, since you’re someone who would usually choose to stay inside playing Minecraft or reading a book over more active pursuits, and you’ve certainly had your fill of those lately.  Almost every time my phone dings, it’s a new picture or video from Mubby showing you doing something exciting.  So far I’ve seen you playing badminton, bobbing for apples, bowling, and participating in a water relay at the park.  You also filmed a video, ate at some of your favorite restaurants, went to the movies, and probably lots of other things Mubby didn’t get a chance to specifically document.  I know you’re having a great time, because every time I FaceTime with you, you don’t seem to miss me a bit.  I miss you a lot, but I’m glad you’re having so much fun.  You’re never going to forget your summer breaks with Mubby and Skitter.

It’s been weeks of solid action for you, because we dropped you off at Mubby and Skitter’s directly after getting back from our road trip to Colorado.  We spent a night in Fort Collins, which was a pleasant surprise.  They have a beautiful, pedestrian-friendly downtown with lots of treats and activities for families.  We then continued on to the YMCA of the Rockies near Estes Park, where we joined up with my friend Sarah and her family for a variety of fun activities.  You said your favorites were archery and the escape room.  I enjoyed watching you do the escape room the most.  You really light up in that kind of environment, with lots of challenges and puzzles to solve.  After we got back to Ames, you designed your own escape room.  Mubby, Aunt Suzy and I all did it, and we were all impressed with your creativity and puzzle-building skills.  You didn’t copy the content from the YMCA escape room, either.  There was a particularly clever clue that required remembering something you mentioned before it was clear that the escape room had actually begun.  I probably wouldn’t have gotten it without a hint.

You found lots of opportunities to play chess, both indoors and out, and you got to teach Sarah’s oldest son how to play.  You’re a good teacher, and Sam caught the chess bug before our time together was over.

The most physically taxing part of the trip was our mountain hike.  The picture below gives a slightly false impression; you weren’t really as exhausted as you look below.  You did a great job, and the sweeping views from the mountain top were very rewarding.  You probably would have been happy to just play chess and do escape rooms the whole time, but I’m glad you got to try out some new things and push your boundaries a little.

Photo by Denny

School is starting in a couple of weeks, and while you seem fine with the teacher you were assigned, you are bummed that none of your good friends are in your class.  Hopefully you’ll still be able to spend time with them on weekends and at extracurricular activities, and maybe this will give you a chance to get to know some new people.  With junior high coming up next year (oh dear lord), it’s good to know a variety of people.  You’ve done some of that already through Family Folk Machine and band, so I hope you can keep expanding your social circle.

Before you left for Mubby and Skitter week, we were making good progress on our summer activity list.  We went to the Children’s Museum, which you noted is really designed for kids younger than you.  You were still a good sport and played nicely with Callum.  That’s been a theme of the whole summer, actually.  During our trip and before it, you’ve been a great big brother.  The van helped a lot—we borrowed Skitter’s, and the extra space made for much less gratuitous kicking and face grabbing on Callum’s part, which often incites trouble.  But really, I’ve been proud of your leadership and ability to get along.  I’ve started shopping for trombones, and things are looking good in terms of your tromboney future.

Your current favorites:  the Artemis Fowl book series, the Asian-American delights of HuHot and Panda Express, Minecraft, designing and implementing complex games, and roping people into playing those games.  Usually it’s pretty fun, though I don’t always completely understand the rules.

It’s been a great summer, my dear boy, largely because of you.  Every now and then our family seems to settle into a sweet spot, when the kids are getting along, the weather is good, and life is pretty great.  Now if I could just get you back into town, we’ll try to extend that sweet spot as long as we can.  Shall we make it a sweet smudge?

Love,

Mom