Dear Tobin,

This won’t be surprising to anyone who has read a Tobin Times before or who knows you at all, but you are an adventure a minute.  Even though we are in limiting circumstances at the moment, mostly just hanging around Mubby and Skitter’s house, you keep things exciting.  This morning, you and I took a walk to Brookside Park.  Something that starts out simple often doesn’t stay simple when you’re involved.  Before our outing was finished, we’d seen a varmint up-close (you’re sure it was a beaver, though its tail looked too fluffy in my opinion), played with flowers, jogged for a spell to avoid a passerby on a bridge, talked about your upcoming birthday, scrambled up a steep path, and split up on the last part of the walk home so you could test a theory about a shortcut.

Your mind and body stay busy all the time.  This afternoon I went up to the balcony to look for something, and I noticed the post office you’d set up.  You decided the household needed an internal mail system, so you set it into motion.  I don’t think anybody has sent any mail yet, so I wrote a letter to each kid and stuck it in the box.  We’ll see if that project has flown out of your mind already or if you’ll be making some deliveries.

Another thing we did today was record your part on a Family Folk Machine song.  We’re doing our session virtually, which means that each person has to record his/her part, and we send it in to our directors for them to arrange into a group track.  You did your part and were very helpful as Callum worked on his.  I’m not sure you have a natural ear for music, but you do have a natural talent for projects and challenges.  Tomorrow is Sunday, and it’s become a tradition to get takeout for dinner every Sunday night.  Back home, we were taking turns for who got to choose the restaurant.  It’s a little more complicated here, with more people, but you’ve decided that tomorrow is your turn, and we’re having pizza.  What’s more, we’re having a pizza party of your devising.  That means rather than sitting down at the table with plates and silverware and water glasses like we usually do, you want us to just put the pizza down and we can walk by and grab a slice.  You also hope to incorporate movies and video games. All the experts say that sitting down to a family dinner as often as possible is so important.  That’s what we try to do, so it’s funny that the novelty for you is the non-unified dinner experience.

You’ve been having a lot of fun playing outside when it’s not too hot.  Skitter waters his garden with the sprinkler some nights, and you and Callum like to get involved with that.  You also like to use water squirters on each other, which often ends up with Callum crying.  Sometimes you have a hard time knowing when it’s time to back off.  That might be because you are advanced enough to keep up with Miles most of the time, so you’ve grown accustomed to pushing yourself in every situation.  That’s not so great when you’re playing with Callum, who needs a little more tenderness.  It’s also not so great when we’re trying to have a calm dinner and you keep running around and poking Miles on the head.  Maybe that’s why you like the idea of a dinner that doesn’t require sitting still.

The other morning you were complaining about Callum hogging the bed.  Here at Mubby and Skitter’s, you and Callum have been sharing one bed and Miles has one to himself in the same room.  I asked you if you’d like to switch, so Miles could take a turn sharing with Callum and you could have your own space.  You furrowed your brow and said, “But then I wouldn’t have a cuddle buddy.”

Third grade is certainly going to be different for you than we expected, as you will almost certainly be attending online for the foreseeable future.  I didn’t think you would like that idea, since you’re very social and always have a lot of fun with your school friends.  But you’re also someone who worries, and you said you didn’t want to go to school if it wasn’t safe.  I’m glad that it won’t be devastating for you, and maybe we can figure out a way for you to have some socially-distant friend contact.  It’s all very controversial right now, since our school board made the decision that all preK-12th grade school would be 100% online for the start of the year.  They worked hard to develop schedules and plans, only to have the governor make a proclamation that all schools must offer at least 50% core instruction in person.  I also fear that she is trying to override our school district’s face covering requirement.  Our  district is applying for a waiver, which I hope they can receive considering the influx of university students that will surely create a further surge in coronavirus cases in our community.  In any case, I believe there will still be an all-online option, which is what our family will be doing.  I know there’s no perfect answer, because many families have no parents with the flexibility to be home, but right now safety should be our highest priority.  I’m glad you understand that.

Photo by Beth Clarke

Of course, that doesn’t stop you from doing things like balancing a stick on your face.  Oh, Tobin.

Your current favorites:  watching Beyblades shows on Netflix, playing poker, re-reading the Gregor the Overlander series, pizza, listening to audiobooks, practicing Spanish on Duolingo, and playing with the Switch.

You’re exhausting, but you’re exhausting the way a day at the beach is exhausting.  When I’m with you, I finish the day tired, but with a lot more sunshine in my life and so happy I spent it with you.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

The other night I realized it was your half-birthday.  I didn’t think of it until nearly bedtime, and when I told you, you thought we ought to have a celebration.  You didn’t buy my explanation that having (coincidentally) had one of your favorite dinners that night, steak, counted as your celebration.  To that end, we ordered some special groceries and made a treat to your specifications:  a mint-chocolate-chip ice cream cake with an Oreo crust and decorated with additional Oreos and chocolate drizzle.  Unfortunately, the chocolate drizzle didn’t work very well, as it melted the cake as soon as it hit it, but it all tasted good.  Since Miles’s half-birthday had just passed as well, you agreed that he could share in the glory.

You certainly haven’t been short on treats here at Mubby and Skitter’s.  You’ve had Popsicles galore.  You discovered a love for the crystallized, half-melted and refrozen bomb pops that had been in the freezer since Christmas.  I bought a fresh batch, but you still preferred the old ones.  Those are all gone now, but fortunately Skitter picked up some frozen fruit bars that you also really like.  You finished one out on the back patio just a little bit ago, and Mubby was trying to clean you up with the garden hose.  Your shirt got wetter than you’d hoped, which led to great sadness, and then you took off your shirt and started swinging it around in the air.

Tobin’s new nickname for you is “Drama King,” and you’ve been living up to it lately.  No tiny injury is superficial enough for you to decline an ice pack.  The other night you fell on your arm, and judging by your howls, Mubby was afraid you’d dislocated your shoulder or done something equally serious.  I was skeptical, since I know your M.O., but you were really sobbing.  You asked for one hundred kisses.  Usually you’ll accept a loose interpretation of “one hundred,” when I just give you a big flurry of kisses and a hug.  Not that night.  I had to give you a literal hundred (I did ten sets of ten), and even after that you weren’t satisfied.  You said you needed a thousand.  I don’t think I got that far, but I did give you hugs, ibuprofen, and a cold washcloth.  You sighed heavily, leaned against me, and said, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Anyway, your arm was fine.  Tobin let you watch him play on the Switch, and you got over it pretty fast.

It’s been hot out, which means you’ve been doing a lot of water play.  Skitter often needs to use the sprinkler to water the garden anyway, and he kindly positions it so you can get wet too.  You and Tobin are the two who most enjoy playing in the water, and it often leads to some sort of fight, but you have some fun along the way too.  As we look ahead to the upcoming school year and all the uncertainty that looms, I’m so grateful that you have your brothers.  You’re used to not always getting what you want, to dealing with the egos and needs of others, and the frustration of not being able to keep up.  I know your brothers think you always win out because you’re the baby of the family, but in many ways you’re more socially prepared for school than Miles was at your age.  Even if you don’t have the experience of being plunked into a classroom full of other kindergartners, you still have logged plenty of hours with other kids.

We’re supposed to find out in a couple of days what the school district is planning for a fall schedule.  Sadly, coronavirus cases continue to rise in the U.S. and in Iowa specifically, and there’s no way the school year is going to start how we would typically expect.  I’ve heard a few different plans bandied about, including full-time face-to-face education, certain days or blocks face-to-face with some kids at school and others doing distance-learning and then swapping, and full-time distance education.  No solution is perfect, and I don’t envy the teachers and administrators who are going to have a huge workload and undoubtedly imperfect results.  As your dad has noted, this is an unprecedented situation, and expecting a perfect solution for every scenario is unfair and unrealistic.  There may be an element of parental choice, and my top priority is to keep you kids and your classmates and teachers safe.  That might mean that you don’t go to kindergarten how we thought you would.  That’s a bummer, but it would be an even bigger bummer to see COVID-19 sweep through your school.

Your current favorites:  pizza, steak, dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, playing Switch with your brothers, Zackscottgames on YouTube, lying in the grass, catching fireflies with Mubby, feeding the fish in Skitter’s pond, and having “secret drink” (Skitter Mix + a squirt of lemon juice from a plastic squeeze lemon).  You have a lot of bug bites from all the time you’ve been spending outside, and you have a lot of curls from declining my special haircuts.

You’re dramatic, tender, contemplative, and sweet.  I like how often you’re shirtless lately because I love to kiss your smooth little shoulders.  I can see why the mosquitoes find you so appealing.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Miles,

We’re entering our second month of sheltering-in-place at Mubby and Skitter’s, and you’ve gotten established in a pretty solid routine.  Yes, there’s a lot of screen time, but you’ve also done some other interesting things.  You’ve been reading a lot of the books from my childhood that Mubby set aside—John Bellairs is a winner; Beavis & Butthead not so much.  I can’t figure out why you don’t find those as hilarious as Uncle Tyler and I did as pre-teens, but they just don’t grab you.  Maybe it’s not the same without having seen the TV show.  You’ve also been joining in on some of the poker games, though not quite as enthusiastically as Tobin.  I’m glad you know how to play, though.  I’m not a card player myself, partly because I don’t enjoy it and partly because I don’t feel confident at it.  It may serve you well to have some poker experience.

You’ve also done some recording for the Family Folk Machine virtual choir project.  In lieu of singing together in preparation for a formal concert, Family Folk Machine is doing an all-digital season, and that requires us to record ourselves singing the parts to our songs and sending the files in to our directors.  They then mix them together to create a choir-like sound.  I’ve heard a rough cut of one of the songs, and it sounds really beautiful.  It’s not quite the same as being together to sing, and I know you miss the creative and social elements, but it’s still a cool thing to be a part of.  You’re also doing a trombone solo in one of the songs, so we recorded the audio for that a couple of weeks ago, and last night we took advantage of an unusually cool evening to capture some video.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Once the audio tracks are all mixed, various choir members including myself will create videos to go with them, and I plan to include your trombone video.  Your solo is in the Pete Seeger song “Rainbow Race,” which is ostensibly about ecological topics but also well suits the current turmoil the United States is experiencing regarding Black Lives Matter demonstrations in response to police brutality.  We’ve been talking a lot about current events, and I think you have a reasonable understanding of what’s going on.  Another song on which you’re singing is John Prine’s “Paradise,” which also has the sad connection to current times due to John Prine’s death from COVID-19.  It’s about the pain of having the songwriter’s favorite places from childhood destroyed by the coal industry.  That’s a poignant song for me, too, because we sang it in our very first (or at least one of the very early) Family Folk Machine concerts.  It seems like both a long time ago and very recent.

I have no idea what your music education (or any of your education) is going to look like in the fall, because you’ve signed up for both band and choir, and neither of those seems prudent in the COVID-19 climate.  I can’t even say for sure that you’ll be attending school in person.  You really want to, and I don’t blame you.  Junior High is a time of important social development, and while I’d be happy to wrap you in bubble wrap and keep you at home forever, it’s probably not a good idea in reality.  The school board hasn’t announced a specific plan yet, but it may involve distance learning or a hybrid model of in-person and distance learning. They also stated that there would be some degree of parental choice in the matter, so we will probably have some decision-making to do as a family.

You haven’t historically taken great interest in cooking, though I’ve tried to engage you on that topic in an effort to expand your palate.  You haven’t really nibbled, figuratively or literally.  Sometimes I wonder how you manage to keep your systems running on the few calories I see you consume.  You don’t like very many foods, and you don’t eat very much of the foods you do like.  However, one item you can usually find room for is chocolate.  You often hang around while I read bedtime stories to Callum, and a favorite of his (and yours) is The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food.  In it, the Bear family gives up such treats as Sugar Balls and Choco Chums in an effort to get healthier.  Missing the point entirely, and maybe a little bit because I just wanted to do an activity with you, you got excited about making homemade Choco Chums.  Most people would call them truffles, as they have a ganache center and a dark chocolate coating, but around here, they’re Choco Chums.  We’ve made two batches, and your technique has improved a lot.  The second batch looked so pretty we had to put them in a fancy box.

You’ve continued to write the Clarke-Crall Times every week, and I really look forward to reading your commentary on the events, minimal though they may be.  I took a peek at this weeks, even though you haven’t technically displayed it yet, and you mentioned a recent family movie night.  The whole gang, even Mubby and Skitter, joined us to watch Napoleon Dynamite.  In fact, it’s one of Skitter’s favorite movies, and I think he enjoyed watch you and your brothers crack up as much as he enjoyed watching Napoleon throw ham at an alpaca.

By this time next month, we’ll probably have a good idea of when we’ll be moving back to our house.  The renovation is scheduled to be finished mid-August, though of course that may shift a little.  It’s going to be a bit of a shock for all of us, since we’ve gotten pretty comfortable here.  I will miss not cooking dinner every night and having Skitter-brewed coffee waiting for me every morning.  I’m sure you’ll miss the many, many batches of Chex Mix Mubby has made, as well as the generous pours of lemonade she distributes.  Still, I’m really excited for our project to be done so we can start enjoying our new space.  Who knows how long we’ll be in coronavirus crisis, so at least it will be nice to have a freshly updated home.

Your current favorites:  the Nintendo Switch, Mubby Ice, chatting in Bro Speak with your friends online, pasta, and wearing your new favorite shirt.  The photos in this post will provide evidence as to which one it is.  Being here with a limited wardrobe, it’s easy to assume that you never change your clothes.  You don’t change them as often as I dream you might, but you do sometimes, I swear.

I admire how well you’re coping with this very unusual summer, Miles.  I’m sorry you can’t go to your favorite FilmScene camp (probably–it hasn’t officially been canceled, but things are looking bleak, and it would also mean returning home before the project is finished), go swimming at the City Park Pool, do the library Summer Reading Program, hang out with your friends in person, and go out for frozen yogurt.  But I’m glad you’re getting extra time with me and with Mubby and Skitter, because you’re twelve-and-a-half now, and time sure isn’t going any slower.  I’m glad we can live in safety and comfort and I can soak up a little extra Miles time before you grow up completely.

I love you.

Joe Momma (aka Mom)