Dear Tobin,

This month has been mostly a fun one, with the events that typically occur this time of year. You’re someone who really loves tradition and special occasions, so the winter holiday season is a great time for you. Unfortunately, you caught one of the many bugs going around your school in the weeks before break, so you had to spend several days mostly in bed. It wasn’t COVID, though we’re not sure exactly what it was. We never took you in for an influenza test, although there was a lot of that going around the area. We got our flu shots a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, so it’s possible that it was influenza tamped down by your vaccine-begotten immunity. You had a fever on and off for a couple of days, never to a scary-high level, but enough that it dragged you down. You had low energy and slept a lot and missed three days of school. You’re almost completely better now, with just a little lingering sludge and congestion.

For you, the biggest torture was the semi-isolation. I wanted to confine the illness to one person, because I was worried it would cascade through our whole family and derail our holiday travel plans. You did most of your eating in your room, and other family members masked up whenever we needed to go in there. Callum slept in my room for a few days, and your dad went down to the guest room. I went through a whole lot of disinfecting wipes on the doorknobs, faucets, toilet flushers, and light switches. You really, really dislike being anywhere other than in the middle of the action, and I felt very bad for you. You even seemed to take it as an insult that I wanted you to use different bathroom towels than the rest of us. Nevertheless, the techniques worked, because no one got as sick as you. We have some stuffy noses to varying degrees, but nothing serious or plan derailment-worthy.

You’ve always enjoyed being a helper in the kitchen, and your love of pizza-making has continued to grow. The Adam Ragusea pizza recipe is definitely a keeper, and I can see additional pizza tools being part of your future. Family Pizza Party Night is becoming a somewhat regular event. Considering your love of ritual, I don’t see that changing. You can even do the swift little jerk motion required to move the pizza from the peel to the hot stone (or steel, as I predict we’ll be using next time). That’s a move that takes confidence. Do it timidly and your pizza will crumple and maybe even dangle halfway off the cooking surface. That would be a disaster (for the pizza and for the person tasked with cleaning the oven later). Luckily, you’re a bold kid, and you aren’t afraid to jerk that pizza right into its place.

We had a predictably fun time going out to Wilson’s Orchard to pick out a Christmas tree. Of course, with you involved, there would be no skipping of the doughnuts and cider. Naturally, we had to decorate the tree immediately after we got home, sipping cider as we worked and listening to Bob Dylan sing “Must Be Santa Claus.” You get a big kick out of looking at all the ornaments, including your favorite little fox. You like to hide him somewhere in the tree so he’s peeking out at us. Largely out of pressure from you, I finally put some lights up on the house this year, too. I figured I’d better do it while I’m still young and spry enough to climb a ladder. The plastic clips that hold the lights in place probably aren’t intended to stay out year-round, but installing them was  the hardest part of the process. We might have to see if they can last two years at least.

You had your first elementary school band concert. I’ve gotten accustomed to the high level of musicianship that comes out of City High, so it was a bit startling to go back to the “Hot Crossed Buns” type of performance. It’s amazing how far players can go in just a few years. In fact, I remember Artemis’s first year of band and how much they improved between the fall and spring concerts. I am looking forward to watching you develop as a saxophonist. I was very proud sitting in the audience and watching you play onstage with your friends. You looked cute in your white dress shirt, too. When Art was in elementary school band, there was a stricter dress code than the current director requires. In a nod to past fanciness, I got out Art’s old band clothes and got them tidied up for you. I could tell who else in the band was going by the old rules, because you weren’t the only one in a smart oxford shirt.

Your current favorites: the Jurassic Park movies, both the original trilogy and the Jurassic World films; playing basement soccer with anyone who will join you (usually Callum); pizza, both restaurant-acquired and homemade; family cocktail hour, especially if it includes Sunkist Sparkling Strawberry Lemonade; board games and card games; spicy chips like Takis and Flamin’ Hot varieties of regular chips; wearing a fuzzy hooded sweatshirt; and showing up with great enthusiasm for almost anything. Even though your recent illness wasn’t terribly severe, seeing you motionless for long periods of time was disconcerting. I’m so glad you’re back to your bouncy, horn-tooting self. Your the sunshiniet, best kid ever. I love you so much.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

Strangely enough, you claim that winter is your favorite season. Maybe you’re overly romanticizing the fun of snow, or maybe you don’t remember the drudgery of managing snow pants and boots at school since you did online school last year. Anyway, for some reason, you think winter is  great. Your dad is pretty intrepid about walking to school with you and Tobin in the morning, though the two of you are not as enthusiastic. Your opinion on winter might sway as you trudge up the hill to school on snowy sidewalks.

You were very excited about getting our Christmas tree. We named it Gene-Gene the Evergreen, and we had a good trip to Wilson’s to pick it out. We also enjoyed some tasty apple cider doughnuts and brought home a four-pack of cider to drink while we trimmed the tree, so it was a good experience all around. I’m reluctant to get presents under the tree too soon, because you and your siblings can’t keep your dang hands off of them. In fact, I had a Timehop memory this morning that showed three-year-old Callum removing all the presents from under the tree and arranging them on the rocking chair. You and your siblings (especially Tobin) were so excited to get some present under the tree that I let you wrap your sibling presents. There may only be three down there so far, but it does add a jolly air to the room.

The sibling presents are a tradition in which I take you all to the Hobby Corner, which is a local shop that sells toys and games for a variety of ages and interests. They usually have items that appeal to each kid, so you draw names and wander around with your siblings. When something interests you, you point it out to the sibling who’s buying for you, and you have to pay attention to the preferences of the sibling for whom you’re buying. The goal is that each kid will have several suggestions so there’s still some element of surprise. It’s something you all seem to really enjoy doing, and it lends a special excitement to opening gifts on Christmas morning.

A less fun event this month was your formal allergy testing. We’d been holding off on doing that until the worst of fall allergies had passed, because you have to be off antihistamines for several days before the test. Hey, I just realized that maybe that’s why winter is your favorite season: it has the lowest level of allergens. Spring is just miserable for you, and fall also causes trouble, as well as summer to a lesser extent. Winter is your reprieve season. As long as we keep your skin well-moisturized to ward of the eczema behind your knees, winter seems to be a pretty comfortable time for you.

The test determined that your worst triggers are outdoor allergens. We already strongly suspected tree pollen, based on the timing of your symptoms, and the test confirmed that birch and oak are your worst offenders. You also reacted to many of the other outdoor allergens, like ragweed, mulberry, mugwort, and outdoor molds. The good news is that you didn’t have much reaction to indoor allergens, like dust, indoor molds, or animals. We got the test done right before Thanksgiving, and the knowledge that you’re not allergic to cats let you feel free to make good friends with Uncle Mark’s cat, Boris Florence. I assumed that you’re allergic to cats, since both your dad and I are, but it seems the genes didn’t shake out that way. Now you want a cat. I do not want a cat, but I suppose you have permission to cuddle with BoFlo.

You’ve been interested in Asian foods and using chopsticks lately. I think you must watch YouTube videos about people eating spicy ramen, because you really wanted to do that. We went to a local Asian market and picked some out, and you did not get very far into eating them before you bailed. However, you’re getting very good at using chopsticks. You use them for the expected things like stir-fry and noodles, but you also like to eat Scooby Snack cookies with them. I suggest using them to eat Cheetos to keep your fingers clean. Sometimes you don’t finish the lunch I pack you for school, so maybe I should stick a pair of chopsticks in your lunch bag to make it more appealing.

School in general continues to go great. You’re tender and empathetic, and I’ve found you tearful before because you witnessed someone else’s pain that had nothing to do with you. That empathetic quality has its upside, though, since you’ve made good friends in your class. You’ve even become good friends with a kid you were nervous about, because you had a negative run-in with him at baseball last summer. Any tension between you seems to have totally evaporated now. You scraped your knee at recess a week or so ago, and in telling me all about it, you mentioned that he was the person who took you to the nurse’s office. Your teacher is wonderful, and your conference was excellent. You’re excelling academically, and I am so proud of you for how well the first chunk of the school year has gone.

Your current favorites: the Humphrey book series by Betty Birney; your special drink blend with varying centimeters of orange juice, lemonade, and Kool-Aid; your fuzzy lined jeans; your new library card; watching The Great British Baking Show with me; using the iPad in your room; Bakugan toys; waffles; pizza; and cuddling up at bedtime for stories and chats. You’re loving and affectionate, and picking you up from school is the best part of my day. You’re almost always happy and excited and ready to tell me all about your day, and hugging you and hearing your thoughts is a great pleasure.

Thanks for all your sweetness, my little pup.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Artie,

We’ve come to the last month of your fourteenth year. With all the hustle and bustle that come with the holiday season, it’s easy to get busy with all the family’s activities and forget to take stock of all that’s happened. You’re nearly halfway done with your freshman year, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You seem to have found your place in a big, new school. You’ve made some new friends, continued old friendships, and enjoyed life as an active member of the marching and jazz bands. Your grades were excellent first trimester. You did great in all your core subject areas and really enjoyed your electives, filmmaking and French. This trimester, you’re continuing with French and adding graphic design in place of filmmaking. It’s been such a joy to listen to you tell me the things you’re learning in French. While my French isn’t very advanced, I know other Romance languages well enough to have interesting conversations with you about the nuances of the languages we have studied.

Last night during family cocktail hour, we got into a conversation about the verb have and all the different ways it can be used, from indicating possession to the “have to” construction to the helping-verb half of a present perfect construction. We discussed how English and Spanish use the same verb for the first two examples, while Italian and French use a different one. Likewise, French and Italian and Spanish all use equivalent verbs, a different type of have, for perfect constructions (e.g., “I have eaten”), while English uses the same as the have that indicates possession. Your dad laughed at our nerdiness, but I for one am glad to have someone else at the table who finds this stuff interesting.

Later this week you’ll have your biannual appointment at the Orthopedics clinic, at which time you’ll get X-rays and an assessment of your scoliosis. You’ve grown so much in the last year that it may be a telling appointment. I don’t know how close you are to your full growth; that’s something the doctor will be able to approximate based on the status of your growth plates. We’re hoping that your very reliable brace-wearing has held your curve steady throughout this growth spurt. As long as it is close to the same, you won’t need the very big-deal surgery your dad had at around your age. We’ll keep our fingers crossed and our spines straight as the appointment draws nearer.

I am truly impressed by your adherence to your doctor’s recommendation for brace-wearing. You have a regular schedule that allows you to meet your 14-15 hours per day goal. On occasions like band performances or other away-from-home events, you use an app to figure out how long you need to wear it to make up for missed hours. I’m really proud of how well you’ve done, and I dearly hope your hard work pays off.

You seem pretty happy and relaxed these days. You’re usually quick to leave the table after a meal or when you finish your cocktail hour beverage, but while you choose to hang out with us, you’re a contributing family member. You don’t complain when your dad asks you to help with yard work or vacuum the basement. You’ve also maintained a good attitude with recent family events, like picking out a Christmas tree, the annual shopping trip to choose siblings’ presents, and the occasional family game night. Overall, the impression I get is that while you would probably prefer to be alone in your room, spending time with us isn’t the worst thing you can imagine doing.

I understand. I like to be alone in my room too.

Most mornings before you head to school, your dad and I give you a little pep talk. We encourage you to take some chances, talk to some new people, seek out new knowledge, and have good adventures. Sometimes we add in a little song or dance if the mood strikes. A few days ago, I reminded you to brush your hair and teeth before you left.

“Well, I brushed my teeth.”

“Ooooooooh, you’re half way there. Ooooooooh, brushin’ on the hair!”

You did not get the reference and didn’t seem impressed after I explained it. To be fair, I don’t know any of the music you like, either. You were into the music and performance art of Bo Burnham for a while, though I’m not sure if you still are. Now I think you like Quadeca. I couldn’t name a single song, because you listen on headphones in your room. Music consumption is a different experience than it was when I was your age, with no purchasing required. I remembering buying tapes and later CDs with my pocket money and playing them over and over in my room, and I bet my parents learned those songs almost as well as I did. I watched Bo Burnham’s Netflix special in order to better understand your tastes, and it was pretty enjoyable. One of these days I’ll gather the strength to listen to Quadeca.

Your current favorites: Minecraft, making goofy faces when I try to take your picture, hanging out in your room on your devices, French class, penne or linguine with homemade tomato sauce, Doritos, Honey Nut Cheerios, hot chocolate after a chilly walk home from school, and walking around draped in a sleeping bag.

I love you so much, my sweetheart. I hope you continue to find fulfillment and challenge in the things you do, and I look forward to discussing more verbs with you.

Love,

Mom