Dear Artie,

We’ve come to the last month of your fourteenth year. With all the hustle and bustle that come with the holiday season, it’s easy to get busy with all the family’s activities and forget to take stock of all that’s happened. You’re nearly halfway done with your freshman year, and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You seem to have found your place in a big, new school. You’ve made some new friends, continued old friendships, and enjoyed life as an active member of the marching and jazz bands. Your grades were excellent first trimester. You did great in all your core subject areas and really enjoyed your electives, filmmaking and French. This trimester, you’re continuing with French and adding graphic design in place of filmmaking. It’s been such a joy to listen to you tell me the things you’re learning in French. While my French isn’t very advanced, I know other Romance languages well enough to have interesting conversations with you about the nuances of the languages we have studied.

Last night during family cocktail hour, we got into a conversation about the verb have and all the different ways it can be used, from indicating possession to the “have to” construction to the helping-verb half of a present perfect construction. We discussed how English and Spanish use the same verb for the first two examples, while Italian and French use a different one. Likewise, French and Italian and Spanish all use equivalent verbs, a different type of have, for perfect constructions (e.g., “I have eaten”), while English uses the same as the have that indicates possession. Your dad laughed at our nerdiness, but I for one am glad to have someone else at the table who finds this stuff interesting.

Later this week you’ll have your biannual appointment at the Orthopedics clinic, at which time you’ll get X-rays and an assessment of your scoliosis. You’ve grown so much in the last year that it may be a telling appointment. I don’t know how close you are to your full growth; that’s something the doctor will be able to approximate based on the status of your growth plates. We’re hoping that your very reliable brace-wearing has held your curve steady throughout this growth spurt. As long as it is close to the same, you won’t need the very big-deal surgery your dad had at around your age. We’ll keep our fingers crossed and our spines straight as the appointment draws nearer.

I am truly impressed by your adherence to your doctor’s recommendation for brace-wearing. You have a regular schedule that allows you to meet your 14-15 hours per day goal. On occasions like band performances or other away-from-home events, you use an app to figure out how long you need to wear it to make up for missed hours. I’m really proud of how well you’ve done, and I dearly hope your hard work pays off.

You seem pretty happy and relaxed these days. You’re usually quick to leave the table after a meal or when you finish your cocktail hour beverage, but while you choose to hang out with us, you’re a contributing family member. You don’t complain when your dad asks you to help with yard work or vacuum the basement. You’ve also maintained a good attitude with recent family events, like picking out a Christmas tree, the annual shopping trip to choose siblings’ presents, and the occasional family game night. Overall, the impression I get is that while you would probably prefer to be alone in your room, spending time with us isn’t the worst thing you can imagine doing.

I understand. I like to be alone in my room too.

Most mornings before you head to school, your dad and I give you a little pep talk. We encourage you to take some chances, talk to some new people, seek out new knowledge, and have good adventures. Sometimes we add in a little song or dance if the mood strikes. A few days ago, I reminded you to brush your hair and teeth before you left.

“Well, I brushed my teeth.”

“Ooooooooh, you’re half way there. Ooooooooh, brushin’ on the hair!”

You did not get the reference and didn’t seem impressed after I explained it. To be fair, I don’t know any of the music you like, either. You were into the music and performance art of Bo Burnham for a while, though I’m not sure if you still are. Now I think you like Quadeca. I couldn’t name a single song, because you listen on headphones in your room. Music consumption is a different experience than it was when I was your age, with no purchasing required. I remembering buying tapes and later CDs with my pocket money and playing them over and over in my room, and I bet my parents learned those songs almost as well as I did. I watched Bo Burnham’s Netflix special in order to better understand your tastes, and it was pretty enjoyable. One of these days I’ll gather the strength to listen to Quadeca.

Your current favorites: Minecraft, making goofy faces when I try to take your picture, hanging out in your room on your devices, French class, penne or linguine with homemade tomato sauce, Doritos, Honey Nut Cheerios, hot chocolate after a chilly walk home from school, and walking around draped in a sleeping bag.

I love you so much, my sweetheart. I hope you continue to find fulfillment and challenge in the things you do, and I look forward to discussing more verbs with you.

Love,

Mom