Dear Tobin,

The spring thaw is coming (and going, and coming again), and you are so ready for it. You are not a person who is happy being stuck inside, and I can see you itching for outdoor adventure again. Even though I initially said you needed to choose between spring soccer and baseball, you begged and begged, and I eventually relented: you’ll be playing both. That will mean a lot of hauling around town for practices and games, and now of course Callum wants to play both as well. I’m sure your dad will handle the majority of that, so I am grateful to him in advance for all that legwork and emotional support. It will mean lots of active outdoor time for you, so I’m sure you’ll be happy.

Your fifth grade year is now nearly two-thirds done. As usual, the winter was a bit of a slog, with managing snowpants and hats and boots and gloves, but you got it done. You seem happy with how the year is going, and your report card indicates that you’re doing well. We have your conference later this week, so we’ll get to hear from your teacher about all the things you’ve been doing. You have a good friend group, and every day you spend the walk home telling me about the day’s soccer games and drama. Someone’s water bottle always gets stolen (but eventually returned), there’s always a funny anecdote about silent ball, and you often have mud-stained pants from diving for a soccer ball.

Your bass lessons have gotten derailed by your sports schedule, and we’re hoping to squeeze a few more lessons in before soccer and baseball start. You still have some music in your life with Family Folk Machine and the school band. You’ve been playing saxophone, and you had one concert so far in the fall after just a few weeks of lessons. It was…a sensory experience. I remember Artemis’s school band making a lot of progress between the fall and spring concerts, so I look forward to hearing yours later in the season.

You went to a birthday party last weekend that sounded like my personal nightmare: Go-Karting. Naturally, you loved it. I knew the second I saw the invitation that it was exactly the kind of thing that you would want to do and that I would feel anxious about until you were safely home. It was all the way in Cedar Rapids! Drivers don’t even wear helmets! You don’t even have a driver’s license! Your one concession to my mental health was to agree to wear a mask whenever possible, so at least I had that. You had a blast and have requested to have your birthday party there in August. We’ll see about that.

Your basketball season has been a little bit frustrating. You had originally planned to be on a team with your friend, but his mom got mixed up and signed him up for a different team than the one she told me put you on. Your teammates don’t show up consistently to practices or games, so there’s a lot of pressure on you. At your last game, only five players from your team came, and the other team had nine. That meant that in order to play five-on-five, you and your teammates had to play the entire game with no subs. Still, you did great. You were hustling and rebounding and made some good shots. I do wear mom-goggles, of course, but I still think it was pretty obvious that you were MVP. Later that afternoon, you watched an amazing final minutes of the Hawkeye men’s basketball team, in which they came from behind for a spectacular overtime victory.

That’s part of why I ultimately caved on the soccer and baseball issue. It’s not something I fully understand, but sports are very enjoyable and fulfilling activity for you. You’re even becoming a more gracious loser. I guess this year’s basketball experience has helped you in that area. I didn’t keep careful score on your last game, but I think you may have won that one. I’m glad the season wasn’t a total wash.

Your current favorites: your fuzzy grey sweatshirt (as evidenced by these photos, which I swear were taken on many different days); sports of all kinds, but especially basketball right now; books by Stuart Gibbs; playing chess with your siblings; playing with your friends; pizza, including your famous homemade variety; stir-fry; and our special-occasion trips to Coralville for Popeye’s. We don’t have any big spring break plans, so I’m hoping we can build a list of local fun things to do. I anticipate the trampoline park, movies, and another Popeye’s excursion will be on that list.

You continue to be a bright light, a force that makes any day better and any room happier because you’re in it. You still enjoy my hugs and being with your family, so I’m going to soak up as much of that as I can get. I’ll even sit through some baseball games because you’re there.

Love,

Mom

Pork with 40 Cloves of Garlic

Lightly adapted from America’s Test Kitchen

• 4 tsp minced fresh thyme, divided
• 1 T minced fresh rosemary
• 1 T kosher salt
• 2 tsp ground fennel (I ground fennel seed in the food processor)
• 1 tsp black pepper
• .5 tsp red pepper flakes
• 1 (3-lb) boneless pork loin roast, fat cap intact
• 2 T vegetable oil
• 40 garlic cloves (3-4 heads), peeled
• 1.25 cups chicken broth
• 1/3 cup dry white wine
• 1/3 cup heavy cream

1. Combine 2 tsp thyme, rosemary, salt, fennel, pepper, and pepper flakes. Coat pork in spice mixture. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

2. Heat oven to 300F. Heat oil in oven-safe nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until just smoking. Unwrap pork and brown on all sides, about 7 minutes. Note to future Aprille: your big yellow nonstick skillet is oven-safe to 350F.

3. Scatter garlic around pork and transfer skillet to oven. Roast until pork registers 130 degrees, 40-50 minutes (mine was a bit over 3 lbs, so it took longer; go by temperature). Transfer pork to carving board, tent with foil, and let rest for 20 minutes.

4. While pork rests, place skillet with garlic over medium-high heat and cook until garlic is sizzling and light golden brown all over,about 3 minutes. Add broth, wine, cream, and remaining 2 tsp thyme. Cook until sauce is reduced to about 1 cup and is thick enough to coat back of spoon, about 10 minutes.

5. Slice pork thinly. Serve with sauce.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Tart

Crust:

Preheat oven to 350F. Crush 1 sleeve graham crackers (9 whole crackers) with 2 T granulated sugar. Melt 4 T butter and mix with crumbs. Press into tart pan and bake for 10 minutes. Allow to cool slightly.

Ganache:

4.5 oz heavy cream, hot but not boiling
9 oz semi-sweet chocolate (chips or a chopped up bar)
(NOTE: next time I will probably use a higher cream:chocolate ratio, as I wanted the chocolate layer a little softer)

Pour hot cream over chocolate and let it sit for 5 minutes. Whisk to combine. Spread a thin layer of ganache over graham cracker crust. Refrigerate until firm.

Peanut butter filling:

Combine 3/4 cup creamy peanut butter and 1/2 cup cold whipping cream. Mix with an electric  hand mixer or stand mixer until smooth. Add 1 tsp vanilla and 1/4 tsp salt. Add about 1.5 cups powdered sugar and mix until fluffy. Spread over cooled ganache layer. Refrigerate until slightly firmer.

Rewarm remaining ganache briefly (15 seconds in the microwave was plenty) and pipe or drizzle over peanut butter layer. Serve cold or at room temperature.

My dear Callum,

You are such an enthusiastic participant in life. I don’t know if it’s just a natural stage in your development or it’s related to the early pandemic years when you didn’t get to do much outside the house, but these days, you’re ready to jump into anything you can. Yesterday at Family Folk Machine, you were singing with all your little heart and doing the movements with gusto. You’re not a terribly experienced basketball player yet, but you’re trying hard and having fun with your teammates. You also decided you want to do soccer instead of baseball in the spring, so I got you signed up for that. We need to work swimming lessons into the mix at some point, too, but that probably won’t be until summer.

I got an email from your teacher this morning with an update on your progress as a second grader. She had nothing but wonderful things to say about you, both socially and academically. I was never too worried about the academic end, since you haven’t struggled in that area, but I was nervous about you adjusting to full-time school. According to Ms. Hill, you’re doing just fine. She says you participate fully in all class activities and really enjoy interacting with your classmates. That’s exactly how I hoped this school year would go for you.

Another important development: you and Tobin have taken on the challenge of trying new foods. That makes me so happy and proud. I’m glad you and Tobin can be teammates on that project, because Artemis is certainly no help there. You’ve had better experiences with some foods than others (tater tot casserole was not a big hit), but you’ve been making an effort to try all the things I put on the dinner table. Your latest challenge is that you want to go a week with no sugary drinks, the one exception being family cocktail hour on Saturday. We decided you could have special dispensation for that one, since it’s an important family bonding event.

You took a strong interest in Lunar New Year this year, probably because you learned about it at school. We made some Lunar New Year-inspired paintings together, made Chinese almond cookies, and went downtown to see the big inflatable rabbits. I think they’re related to the Year of the Rabbit celebration, so we tied the events together. You really enjoyed them, especially the interactive features. Each rabbit had a QR code that you scanned with my phone, and that launched you into a text conversation with them. You learned all their names, chatted with them, and had a good time.

We also did a few other things downtown, including a trip to the library. We haven’t spent a lot of time in the library lately, and you had fun finding the book that you’d put on hold with your very own library. You and I also watched some of a Lunar New Year presentation that was going on there while our other family members looked around at other things in the library. We ended up not staying long because it wasn’t as compelling as the lure of the enormous rabbits outside. When we described it to your dad and siblings later, I was trying to explain how a group of women were doing these slow steps and arm movements, not quite like tai chi. “It was supposed to be, like, elegant,” you said. It was pretty elegant, but it was also crowded, so we hopped like bunnies out of there.

You are so funny and witty. I feel like I burst out laughing almost every day from the funny things you say. I’m not sure how many of them are funny on purpose and how many are just funny because they come out of your little mouth, but either way, you’re a hoot.

A recent highlight:

Your current favorites: chicken wings, the Betty Birney books featuring Og the Frog, art projects, your Happy Birthday drinking glass, watching YouTube videos, playing Scratch games with Artemis, and playing card games and chess with your siblings, playing with your homemade weapons, and reading bedtime stories. Usually I read to you, but sometimes you read to me too. I don’t know how much longer you’ll want me to cuddle in bed and read to you, but I’m glad I still get to do it.

You are so much fun, and I’m so happy to have you in my life. You’re doing such a good job being eight.

Love,

Mommy

My dear Artemis,

You’ve been fifteen for a full month now, and it seems like you’re settling into it pretty well. We’ve been talking about getting you signed up for Drivers’ Ed in the summer in anticipation of your sixteenth birthday. That doesn’t seem possible, and of course you still have almost a year before that particular milestone hits, but this summer is the best time to get the class done. It’s time to start getting our summer schedule sorted out, so we have to figure out how that will work. You have some activities in August—band camp and miniatures camp (a special session of the same animation camp you’ve gone to many times before, this one with a focus on building miniature sets for films). We have a family vacation planned for June, so I guess we’ll try to get Drivers’ Ed done in the July timeframe. It’s nice that we don’t, as far as I know, need to think about any big medical events for you. Last July we were gearing up for your parotid gland surgery, and I’m grateful to have that off our radar now.

You mentioned that you have feeling in your ear again. The surgeon warned us that you could have nerve damage to your ear on the side where they removed the parotid tumor. A greater risk was damage to major nerve that provides movement to your face, so we were very grateful to know that you had no problems in that area. A little ear numbness was an acceptable hazard, and it seems that it was temporary.

Next week you have a big event: a trip to the Tallgrass Jazz Festival at the University of Northern Iowa. You get to miss a day of school for it, which of course is exciting, and I hope you have a good time. Those kind of events were always a lot of fun for me as a kid. You’ve also started planning your schedule for the next school year. It’s strange that parents have no input in the process; you just came home from school one day and said you had picked out your schedule. Apparently each subject area teacher gives guidance on which course to choose for the upcoming year. I know your American Studies teacher suggested that you take the honors/AP offering for a sophomore social studies course, and I hope your English teacher did the same. You plan to continue with band and French, as well as an advanced graphic design class and some kind of sculpture class. It’s great how many opportunities you have to explore different subjects, and you’ve found some teachers who really inspire and challenge you.

Despite the predictable winter doldrums, you’ve been a good sport about walking to and from school. In fact, you would probably never ask for a ride. If you have jazz band before school I drive you, but you do the walking unless the weather is truly awful. In fact, even then I have to suggest giving you a ride, and it’s a bit of an effort to talk you into it. I think the walk is important social time for you, as you usually do it with a friend or two. That’s valuable, but it’s also valuable to have feeling in your legs, since you never want to wear anything heavier than sweatpants. At least you wear a coat. A lot of kids your age don’t. One curious thing is that you never use your locker. You have one assigned, but I’m not sure you’ve ever visited it. That would absolutely not have been an option for me at your age, as all my classes required enormous textbooks. Now, I think you do most of your coursework on your Chromebook. It’s no larger than any one of my school textbooks, so most kids just carry a backpack (and coat, for those smart enough to wear one) to all their classes.

One benefit to this is that you haven’t lost your lunchbag all year. I don’t know how many times we had to replace your lunchbag during elementary school, because something about the process of putting it away after lunch eluded you. I don’t know if they ended up in the school lost and found (we looked there many times), in someone else’s hands, or in the school dumpster. In any case, now that you always have your backpack with you, you always bring home your lunch bag. You haven’t lost your phone yet, either. Let’s cross our fingers that your responsible streak is a personality trait and not a phase.

We had a nice family outing last weekend. There’s a big art installation in the Ped Mall right now with inflated rabbits, and the little kids were really excited to check those out. I needed to go to the library and the Co-op, so we decided to make a partial day of it. You were a good sport and not too cool to climb around a bit on the new playground by the library. I can feel the years rushing by, especially knowing that your status as a licensed driver will surely take you away from me more than I like. I’m trying to appreciate the time we have together while still encouraging you to grow, develop, and explore your interests. You decided against auditioning for the school musical, but you signed up to work on the crew. I hope that’s a fun experience for you. I know a few of your friends are doing that as well, and that can be a very meaningful effort and community.

Your current favorites: creating Scratch games with and for Callum and your friends, discussing Romance languages with me, pasta, Doritos, sleeping late, avoiding your hairbrush, root beer, cream soda, Minecraft, chatting with your friends, and being funny in your acerbic way.

I had a memory recently come up from your preschool days. I said that my favorite time of the day was when I lifted you up onto the kitchen counter to take off your boots, because I could hug you without you running away. I guess it’s not necessarily your age that makes you a minimal snuggler, just how you’ve always been. Still, I enjoy exchanging glances with you at the dinner table when one of us makes a joke that most of the rest of the family doesn’t get. Those are brain hugs, and I know we still have plenty of those ahead of us.

Love,

Mom