Dear Tobin,

Things are looking up around here. You are my number one excitement-sharer for our upcoming trip to the Florida Keys. Perhaps certain members of the family get annoyed with my travel enthusiasm, but lucky for me, I can always count on you to do a wiggly dance as we think about our plans. You talked Callum into a nightly ritual of crossing days off the calendar as our departure approaches, and you’re always up for a scan through the photos of our condo or a visit to the websites of the various restaurants and attractions we’re going to visit. You’ve mentioned several times how excited you are that we’re returning to the same condo we stayed at last time. I agree–not only do we know it’s a nice place, with a fantastic pool and a beautiful beach on-site, but it’s extra special to be able to visualize the space and know what to anticipate.

We have some definite plans and some vague plans, but one thing I know we won’t skip is our morning walks on the beach. You’ve been more into sleeping late as you approach your teen circadian rhythms, but I think I’ll be able to drag you out of bed for a walk on the sand, especially if the foot shower is working.

You’re continuing to take any opportunity you can find to earn money. Whenever a paid research job for your demographic crops up, you always want to sign up for it. Between your lab rat duties, yard work for neighbors, and gift money from grandparents, you’ve got quite a nest egg. You’ve expressed some interest in finance, including possibly taking a financial literacy class as an elective in school next year. Maybe you should take on the task of choosing an investment strategy instead of blowing your earnings on Hot Cheetos.

Earlier this month, you wrapped up the most recent research study you’ve been doing. The researchers had to go back and re-do the brain MRI you started previously, because of a problem with the software they were using. You were slightly annoyed to have to do it again, but you did a good job. I hope it helps you feel less nervous if you have to have an MRI for a legitimate medical reason in the future. You definitely like the payout that comes from these research gigs.

One good outcome of repeating the MRI was that you got your 3D-printed brain in the mail a couple of days later. It’s kind of wild to know that every little groove and wrinkle on that plastic brain represents what’s really in your skull. It’s a lovely brain, and I’m very proud that you’re an important part of scientific research.

All your usual activities have been keeping you busy. You’re finishing up basketball season this week, and it won’t be long before soccer and baseball start. Spring and early summer are always a nonstop time around here, though it gets a little easier once school is out. On the advice of friends who’ve done it in the past, you signed up for a soccer camp in July. Given the amount of socializing you’ve been doing this school year, I foresee another summer full of biking to friends’ houses, going to the pool, and bouncing at the trampoline park. It can be exhausting managing your social schedule, but I see how you thrive with a life full of friends and activities.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Your current favorites: travel planning, hanging out with friends after school, thinking about going to middle school, pizza, cocktail hour, watching shows with your dad at night, and wearing sweats.

Your smile, your laugh, and your zest for life make every day brighter. I can’t wait to walk on the beach with you, my heart.

Love,

Mom

My dear Callum,

As usual, this month has been full of moments of laughter. You say the funniest things, and you’re so smart and perceptive. One of the very best times of the day for me each night is our bedtime routine, when we read from a book, say our goodnights, do a couple of puzzles on my phone, and fall asleep. I don’t always fall asleep next to you, but I often do, and it’s always a snuggly and cozy time.

You are absolutely capable of reading on your own; in fact, you’ve gotten hooked on a book series and are anxiously awaiting the latest installment. You still let me read to you, though, and I really enjoy it. Right now, we’re reading The Candy Smash by Jacqueline Davies. It’s part a series, and the one of the main characters has a consistent problem (maybe due to neurodivergence?) understanding other people’s emotions and motivations. That’s not an area where you struggle; you often palm your face in frustration with Jessie’s insensitivity and bluntness. It’s given us good opportunities to discuss how she could make better choices in human interactions.

Like the rest of us, you’re getting excited for our upcoming Spring Break trip to the Florida Keys. You and Tobin have started marking off the days on the calendar Skitter gave you. Right now the aspect you’re most looking forward to is mozzarella sticks. We don’t do a lot of in-restaurant dining these days, out of an abundance of caution for your health, and mozzarella sticks don’t seem like they’d do well as take-out. But there are many restaurants down in the Keys that are open air, including one that has both mozzarella sticks and mini-golf. It will be fun to order freshly-fried delights and do a little putt-putting in a tropical environment. We’ve been to this Key enough times that we have old favorite places to go as well as new things we want to try.

You’ve been taking swimming lessons, and you’re making big improvements. On our last trip, you only wanted to swim using a pool noodle. I hope this time you’re more confident and able to have a little more freedom. You told me that it’s your goal to do a cannonball into the pool at the same time as your siblings, and I really hope the three of you can make that happen. I’m getting pumped about the fun that awaits us.

We have an appointment with your GI specialist in a couple of weeks, but it seems like your health is going well. I’m doing my best to keep pushing food into you, since weight gain has been a challenge for you. It’s also been a challenge for your older sibling Artemis, who doesn’t have any GI disease, so I’m not sure I’m going to be very successful in that area. You may just be a skinny person by nature. Still, I rarely say no to snacks, and I try to offer you a lot of tasty and nutritious food. You’re a pretty good eater, though I wish you’d eat more vegetables.

Unfortunately, due to scheduling constraints we can’t avoid, we have to do a Humira shot while we’re on vacation. A friend of our who has diabetes has given us some good tips about traveling with syringes, and we’re going to be getting a special insulated container to hopefully keep it cool throughout our travels. My worst worry is that we’ll accidentally leave it in the hotel refrigerator in our scramble to get out for our 7:10 a.m. flight, but surely I can do something to make it obvious that we need to empty the mini-fridge.

School seems to be going well. We’ll have conferences in a couple of weeks, but I haven’t heard anything that makes me concerned. You seem to have friends, you’re doing well in all the academic areas, and you really like your ELP class. Your wonderful ELP teacher is retiring after this school year, so I hope the next one is just as good. You went to a Valentine’s Day party at your friend Norah’s house last weekend, and you were really excited about that. You have a birthday party for your friend Connor coming up too.

You’re also excited about this summer’s adventures, including your first time going to Filmscene Animation. That’s something Artemis has done many times and Tobin did once, so you’re ready to take up the challenge. We go to movies at Filmscene pretty often, and it will feel like a pretty big deal to take you to camp there, just like the big kids. Whether I want to admit it or not, you’re becoming a big kid. You’re creative and capable, and I can’t wait to see what you do.

Your current favorites: your cozy sweatshirt-blanket garment, playing Gorilla Tag on the Oculus with your friend Griffin, playing with your friends at school, basketball, the big cat pillow Suzy and Joe gave you, ice cream, chicken wings, and being snuggly.

You’re a sweet, kind, smart little guy. I’m so lucky to be your mom.

Love,

Mom

Hello, my dear.

As we slog through the tedious winter weeks of February, the pastime that has been keeping you the most engaged is film. You’ve been going to movies at Filmscene (putting to good use the Filmscene card you got for Christmas), watching movies on the various streaming platforms we have, and talking about them online and in person. Last weekend, Mubby and Skitter were visiting, and you spent a long time talking with Mubby about the movies that have gotten award nominations this season. You’ve seen a lot more of them than I have, and Mubby likes to go to the movies a lot too, so you had some good conversations. I did go to one movie with you, Past Lives, and I enjoyed it a lot. Mostly I enjoyed having an evening out with you.

You’re not very excited about band anymore these days, but your dad and I want you to keep at least one extracurricular activity. There’s a French film club at your school, and I think you’d find that enriching. Another possibility is robotics club, as a couple of your friends do that. Finally, if you can’t find any sort of team or club, you could get a job. I suggested that you apply to work at Filmscene, citing your multi-year animation camp participation and frequent movie-going as qualifications. You said you looked and they’re not currently hiring, but it seems like it would be a good idea to put out feelers to the people you know there.

Speaking of Mubby and Skitter’s visit, they both so enjoyed how much time you spent with them. Your default at home is to disappear into your room, emerging only for food and sometimes to grab one of the gaming systems from downstairs. Your dad encouraged you to hang out, and you really did more than I expected. It means a lot to them to get to know you as a person. I feel lucky to be having the same opportunity, albeit in smaller doses throughout the days and weeks. You’re becoming a thoughtful, funny, and interesting young adult, and it’s fun to see those sides of you.

We’re getting ready for our Florida Keys trip next month, and depending on how the budget works out, it might be our last trip there while you’re in high school. We’re planning the Great Clarke/Crall Europe Trip for the summer after your senior year, which would also be a Keys year according to our usual schedule. I had initially planned to skip the Keys that year, in order to dedicate more of the travel budget to the Europe trip, but I’m doing pretty well with my Europe trip savings fund. Because we normally go to the Keys out of the general household operating budget, maybe we can still make it happen.

Tobin and Callum are both really pumped about our upcoming trip, but you haven’t shown as much enthusiasm. That might just be your generally chill nature, though. Tobin and I have been planning to do some snorkeling at Pigeon Key, and I suggested that you might like to do it as well. Several trips ago, you did some snorkeling at John Pennekamp State Park. You were young enough that we didn’t get too adventurous, but I think you enjoyed it, and you seemed at least mildly intrigued by the idea of trying it again.

We had some serious winter weather in January, and you were helpful with moving snow. Usually you grumble a bit when asked to do household chores or yard work, and I imagine you grumbled this time too, but you got the work done. We got tons of snow, and we needed the efforts of everyone in family to get it moved. Tobin was busy shoveling our neighbor’s sidewalk, but you, your dad and I got our sidewalk and driveway done. Callum came outside sometimes, but he wasn’t terribly helpful. After all the snow, the temperature plummeted. Between the snow and the cold, you missed a lot of school. From what I understand, you’re now at the limit of how many snow days you can have before the school year has to be extended. The school year is already going late, because the district has added a number of holidays throughout the year (the most recent of which was a four-day weekend in honor of Lunar New Year). While there’s no guarantee we won’t have any more storms, I hope we don’t, because I don’t want your summer to get unduly shrunken.

I admit, though, I enjoyed having you and your brothers around a lot this winter. It was pretty relaxing most of the time, and you had a lot of hot chocolate. Luckily we never lost power or Internet, so your dad was able to work remotely, and you probably watched a lot of movies.

Your current favorites: movies, pasta, Goldfish crackers, Honey Nut Cheerios, ice cream, cozy clothing, walking to school with your friend Jacob, sleeping late, your French and English classes, reading, and playing video games.

I love you, my dear. I’m happy to see you becoming excited about a subject area, and I’m looking forward to watching you grow even more.

Love,

Mom