Dear Tobin,

You are such a wiggly guy.  Last night, by my request, we had a family movie night in which we watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  I think you liked it, but it was hard to tell since you spent the final third of the movie flipping a plastic lantern, standing on your head, and dribbling a basketball (not at the same time).

We were at the library the other day, and since the spring days are starting to become tolerable, we took some time afterward to play on the playground downtown.  You saw a couple of kids you know from taekwondo, and when I looked over, you guys were doing pushups on the ground.  That’s a very Tobin scenario:  find a friend, be wiggly together.

Another very Tobin scenario:  I can’t remember how it came up, but the other night we were trying to solve some problem, and I asked you what 350 plus 350 is.  You thought for about three seconds and said, “700.”  We moved on to the next step of whatever we were discussing, but later, I realized that you’d come up with that answer pretty fast.  As we completed our nightly hugs and kisses ritual some time later, I asked you what your thought process was to come up with that answer.  You said, “I took fifty from each of them, which made a hundred, and I knew that three plus three is six, so three hundred plus three hundred is six hundred, plus another hundred.”  It took you longer to explain it to me than to run through the steps in your head.  Much like your body, your brain runs fast.

You’ve been enjoying reading a lot lately too.  You’ve gotten excited about the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, and when we went to the library, you wanted to check out a stack of about twelve of them.  I talked you down to six, since spring break is almost over and you’re not going to have as much time to read.  It’s great that you’ve gotten the reading bug, because summer is coming, and I’m going to need to find you some good non-YouTube distractions.  Your wonderful teacher and school librarian gave some good recommendations for other books you might enjoy, so we’re going to have to give those a try.

I’ve been trying to introduce you kids to some of my favorite movies from my youth (c.f. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure), and when you got the cool red vest pictured above, I thought you looked a lot like Marty McFly.  You guys enjoyed Back to the Future, but your favorite Michael J. Fox vehicle remains “The one where the guy is part wolf and is really good at basketball.”

Your own basketball season finished up not long ago, and I think you’ll do one more session of taekwondo before taking a break for baseball season.  I’m hoping you can test for your orange belt before your break, because it will be good motivation for you to get back later in the summer.  As much as you love taekwondo, baseball is such a time suck that it seems unlikely you could do both at the same time.  You’re excited to move up into the pitching machine league this season.  It’s also fairly likely that you’ll run alongside (or slightly ahead of) Miles in his Let Me Run 5k later in the spring.  While you’re still too young to be on the team, you’re a good runner, and you enjoy a getting a finisher’s medal.

I think we’re going to keep the academic camps and activities pretty light this summer and maybe take a mini-vacation or road trip.  We haven’t settled on any specific destinations, but since our plane ticket budget is already allocated for next spring break, we’ll probably have to keep it close.  I’m hoping to get out to Maquoketa Caves again, one of my favorite places to explore from my childhood.  I bet you and Miles will want to spend another week at Mubby and Skitter’s house, too.

Your current favorites:  dice stacking (using a special cup and dice set you got to magically make the dice stand in tidy stacks), talking about cars, reading, watching YouTube, and going on weekend bagel dates with your dad.  Your favorite order is a plain bagel with honey-walnut cream cheese.

And how could I forget?  You lost the first of your two front teeth.  You’ve lost a few others already, but there’s something about the gap-tooth grin that is just the cutest thing ever.  You’re a smiler, so I get to see it a lot.  Thanks for being such a sunshine face, my little Tobin.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Callum,

You’re really funny and articulate lately, and I’ve been enjoying listening to all the things you have to say.  Sometimes they’re logical in their own way, like your comeback to when I said we couldn’t go to the splash pad:  “I meant we would wear our coats.”  Other times they’re clearly something you’ve heard from your brothers, like when something tickled you in the car last night and you said, “That’s hi-LAR-ious.”

Though you’ve definitely gotten better, it’s still fair to say that you’re in a Mommy-centric stage.  Now at least you’ll let your dad help you go to the bathroom (usually), but you still seem the happiest when you’re right by my side.  I like that in a lot of ways—you’re my last baby and I want to squeeze as much time with you into my life as I can.  It won’t be long before I have to send you off to school in the morning and not see you again until 3:00, and then there will be band and sports and piano lessons and all the other things that keep your big brothers busy.

Still, it can be hard to get anything done.  I’m doing a lot of volunteer work these days, some of which requires focused work time.  You do like to play PBS Kids games on the iPad, and that’s okay for a while, but I don’t want you to turn into a drooling screen zombie.  The school carnival is tonight, and I’ve been working hard on that.  Once that’s over, I’ll be able to get back to our usual schedule of playing.

Recently I was hunched over my computer, trying to get raffle prizes organized, and you asked me to play with Play-Doh with you.  You love food preparation play, and you recently re-discovered a cool Play-Doh set that lets you make lots of different food shapes.  I told you I couldn’t play at that moment, and you looked so sad that I said, “You’re not going to be my sweet little boy forever.  I’ll play with you.”  I saved my work, closed my computer, and sat down to play.  Before I could feel too smug about my involved parenting, you burst into tears.  I eventually got you to tell me what was wrong, and it was that you wanted to be my sweet little boy forever.

Geez.  Way to make a Mommy cry when we’re just trying to make some Play-Doh lettuce.

Then, even worse, I told your dad about it later that evening, and you started crying about it all over again.  I don’t think you understood what I meant—that I wanted to appreciate the time I have with you while you’re still young enough to want to play with me.  You seemed to think I was kicking you out of the family or something.  I assured you that you could be my sweet little boy for as long as you want, and you felt better.  Your dad thinks I’m weird when I tell you and your brothers that you can live with me your whole lives, but he can just keep thinking that, because you are always welcome with me.

It’s birthday season around our house, as you and Miles had yours in January and your dad and I have ours in March.  This is the year you’ve gotten really, really excited about present-wrapping.  When we were out running errands the other day you tried hard to convince me that your dad wanted a bubble-blowing gun for his birthday.  I wasn’t so sure about that, so I tried to put you off by saying he’d rather have …um…(at which point I looked in our shopping cart) a ream of printer paper.

You really took to that idea, and you wrapped it and unwrapped it several times before finally presenting it to your dad yesterday, on his actual birthday.  It’s a good thing I didn’t need to reload the printer before then, because I bet I would have had to face some serious consequences from you.

Another of your favorite things to do right now is to “trick” me by shutting the car door before I have a chance to buckle you into your car seat.  You love it so much that, whenever time allows, I invent some little task I need to do between putting you in the car and buckling you up.  Then when I get back to you, after opening the garage door or putting the reusable shopping bags into the passenger seat or whatever, you’ve shut the door and are laughing your head off.  I feign frustration and marvel over how I fall for it every time.  It seems like it must just be a ritual by now, but you find it so hysterical that we keep doing it.

Your current favorites:  bedtime stories, especially Laura Joffe Numeroff’s If You Give a… series; pretending to be a puppy; cheese; wrapping presents; and being right next to me.

We still have some time together, just the two of us, before you start your preschool adventure in the fall.  Once this interminable winter ends, we’ll be able to get out to the park, take walks, and have picnics again.  Despite the crummy weather, we’ve managed to have a lot of fun this winter, and it’s only going to get better.  Thanks for making everything a little more hi-LAR-ious.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Miles,

One of my favorite sources for affordable-yet-stylish kids’ clothes, Crazy 8, is going out of business.  They always have good deals on jeans, so I bought a bunch for you and your brothers in as-of-yet too-big sizes.  You currently wear a twelve, which is what you need for length, but thank goodness for adjustable waists.  I got a pair of size fourteen jeans for you, then I figured you are unlikely to shrink, so I bought two pairs of size sixteen.  Sixteen.  I know it doesn’t exactly correlate with age, but it was blowing my mind that you’re only two jeans sizes away from everything that age range brings.

That reminded me of your very first pair of jeans, which you wore to an Oscar party when you were just six weeks old.  We didn’t stay long at that party, but we were excited to show you off to friends, and you looked so cute in your tiny jeans.

February 28, 2008.  Photo by Denny.

Nowadays, we can stay late at parties.  Last weekend we attended a birthday party that was geared toward adults but at which kids were welcome, and you and your brothers did great.  You didn’t do a lot of dancing, but you commented several times afterward how much fun it was.  You made a little cave among chairs, and even though I thought it was a weird thing to do, you seemed very happy there.  You invited Callum in to play with you, and you guys apparently had a lot of fun.  The open bar blew your mind—you got a hot chocolate AND a lemonade.  I guess that’s how you managed to stay up till 11:30.

You’ve continued your work as Mister Whacky on your YouTube channel.  Your most recent edition was a taste-test of unusual sodas, and as always, you included your brothers very kindly.  You realize that their presence adds a certain variety and appeal, and I think it speaks to your maturity that you can embrace the big picture and overall quality of your videos rather than needing to be the star all the time.

We had your parent-teacher conference earlier this week, and your teacher had nothing but good things to say about you.  In fact, he even praised your improvements in personal organization, both with physical materials and internal tasks.  You’re doing great academically, which is great, but the comment from your teacher that made me the most proud had to do with your social interactions.  He said that you have your usual preferred classmates for group work, but if a student is having a hard time handling a situation, he can trust you to work with that kid.  He said you’re always willing to take on that challenge and that you’re kind and respectful even when it’s not easy.

Honestly, you’re usually that way at home these days too.  Of course you have your moments of frustration, especially when your brothers are annoying, but overall things have been going well.  I see you employing strategies that serve your own happiness while not being a total jerk to others.  For example, you have a sign on your bedroom door that asks visitors to knock.  Callum likes to barge in.  He can’t read yet, but you’ve done a good job explaining the sign to him, and when he comes in without knocking, you send him back out and reiterate the knocking requirement.  Then, crucially, when he does knock, you reinforce that behavior by letting him in and being friendly to him.  It’s part two that’s tough, and you have been doing it without any direction from your dad or me.

Music is still one of your favorite pastimes.  You are doing great in band, Family Folk Machine, Mighty Hawk Singers, piano, and Orff Club.  I catch you singing around the house all the time, and you love to wear the trombone-themed shirts you got for Christmas.  You recently got your black ribbon in band (the highest achievement), and you’re moving on to the next level of trombone music.  I also heard you playing from a book of movie-themes arranged for trombone that you got for Christmas.  I wondered when I got it for you whether it was too advanced, but you are ready for the challenge.

Your current favorites:  pasta, Minecraft, YouTube (watching, creating, and video editing), washing your glorious hair, jumping at the trampoline park, and everything music-related.

Photo by Gary Clarke

I remember the day you were born, talking to our wonderful doula Monica, speculating about the person you would become.  You were so tiny then you wouldn’t have fit into those newborn-size jeans.  It’s been such a pleasure watching you find out what you love and thrive in those areas.  Your new jeans are as long as your trombone slide, and you fit perfectly—maybe not quite yet into the size sixteens, but you’ll find your way.

Love,

Mom