Dear Tobin,

It’s been a long, weird winter break. You had the expected couple of weeks off around the holidays, and due to inclement weather of various types, you haven’t had a full school week since then. Last week was the closest, with four days of school, and it’s looking like next week will finally be normal. You’ve been relishing the extra time off. You are slipping into the teenage circadian rhythms—you’ll sleep in until 10:30 or 11:00 if you can. You used to be an early riser, but now that you’re nearly twelve-and-a-half, it’s not too surprising. You’ve also been shoveling our neighbors’ sidewalk and driveway because they’re spending most of the winter out of town. We’d had an almost snow-free winter until January, when it all fell down at once. We got fifteen inches in forty-eight hours during the first wave, and then we got another five or so inches a couple of days later. I read that it’s the largest amount of snow our area has gotten in that short a timeframe since 1973.

The first round of snow was wet and heavy, too, which made for a challenging shoveling task. We all worked at it, since we needed to get our own driveway and sidewalk done as well. Callum mostly rolled around in the snow, but everyone else worked hard. I had to re-up our hot chocolate supply, because that was a popular post-snow-removal treat. After the first blizzard, the temperature dropped severely. You had school cancellations due to the low temperatures, and then when the temperatures rose again to around freezing levels, you had another cancellation due to icy conditions. We’ve had a lot of melting since things have warmed up, but the snow is still pretty deep.

Along with the money you’ve been earning moving snow, you had your highest-paying lab rat job to date. As I may have described in previous monthly letters, you were part of a multi-stage study about the brains of high achievers. You completed a variety of tests, including computer-based activities, interviews, biometric data collection, and an IQ test. You were paid for each phase, but we thought you wouldn’t be eligible for the big payout: the brain MRI. The research is comparing the brains of high-achieving kids both with and without ADHD or autism, and you were in the “without” group. The MRI was only supposed to be for kids in the “with” group, but a member of the research team called me and said your IQ test (verbal IQ specifically) was so high that they wanted to include you. I asked not to get the results, because I didn’t think it would be useful or helpful for me or you to know, but I guess it was a pretty high score.

We went to have it done, and everything went fine from your perspective. Unfortunately, there was some kind of problem with their software for one part of the MRI, so we need to go in next week to finish it up. In any case, you were very excited to get a fat check for your efforts. I’m proud that scientists agree that your brain is so interesting it deserves special scrutiny.

You’ve been very jazzed about starting junior high next year. They’re actually changing it to middle school; you’ll finish out your sixth-grade year in elementary school, but as of next fall, the middle school will house sixth-, seventh-, and eighth-graders. You’re not only excited about the new opportunities that middle school will bring, but you’re glad that you won’t be in the youngest grade in the school. The principal came to your class earlier this week and talked about all the interesting classes you can take, and we spent a long time filling out a survey the middle school sent to gauge interest. You’ll take the basic classes, of course, as well as ELP and a few electives. You expressed interest in Family & Consumer Sciences (because of the cooking element), metalworking, some art classes, and an introduction to Spanish and French that can set you up to take a more rigorous class in eighth grade.

You’re excited to move on in part because this school year has not been going so great. It started well, but your teacher (whom you liked a lot) left for maternity leave, and you don’t feel very confident in your long-term sub. I guess there are a number of kids in your class who aren’t very well-behaved, and the sub doesn’t have a very firm hand in terms of discipline or classroom management. You’ve been feeling pretty negative about school lately, so it’s nice to see you enthusiastic about what’s coming up next year. I’m hoping that your regular teacher will whip the class into shape when she returns in early March. In any case, the school year always seems like a race to the finish once we hit spring break, and that is coming up in not too long.

You’re my best buddy for spring break dreaming, and we’re very happy that this is a Keys year. You and I share a special joy in looking at pictures of our condo (especially because we’re returning to the same place we stayed last time, which has a particularly lovely pool overlooking the ocean). You also like to look at the websites of local restaurants and attractions with me. Each time we visit, we like to balance returning to our old favorite destinations with trying something new. This time, our plan is to visit Pigeon Key. It’s a little island that was a home base for the people who built the original Seven Mile Bridge, back when it carried a railroad. We’ll take a ferry to get out there, and once we’ve arrived, there’s some historical and natural splendor to enjoy. You have expressed interest in snorkeling there with me, as apparently there’s some good off-shore snorkeling available. It sounds fun, and it’s always good times when I get to do something aquatic with you.

Your current favorites: thinking about junior high, playing with friends, figuring out what we’re having on take-out night, Adidas sweatpants, helping cook, sports, reading (both physical and audiobooks), playing Gorilla Tag with your friends on the Oculus VR, and making money. You have a lot saved up now, so we really need to get you your own bank account so you can make some choices about how to save and spend.

It occurred to me that you’re truly unstoppable, Tobin. With your smart brain, adventurous spirit, and entrepreneurial attitude, I am confident you’ll go far. I just hope you invite me along, or at least let me visit pretty often. I love you so much.

Love,

Mom

Happy 9th birthday, my sweetheart!

You are such a kind, loving kid. Every day, you tell me something sweet and appreciative, like, “Thank you for making dinner for us every night” or congratulating me on my efforts on a video game, even when I fail. When I tuck you in at night, you tell me you’ll miss me. You’re doing great in school, and you even got to celebrate on your true birthday with your class. The school district has stricter rules about snacks than they used to, so no cookies or cupcakes, but you were excited to share popcorn and juice pouches with your classmates.

As a matter of fact, you only had school two days that week. We had a huge snowstorm followed by a big snowstorm, and now we’re deep into sub-zero temperatures. It’s been almost like an extra-long winter break, punctuated by two school days. Monday and Thursday are your favorite school days anyway, because they’re the days you have ELP, so you got lucky by having those as your only school days of the week.

Your interest in recreational reading has really jumped lately. You’ve been wanting to read long, complicated books on your own. Sometimes you even choose to read to yourself at bedtime rather than have me read to you. You got a book for Christmas, The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate, and you got through it so quickly that you were ready for the sequel several days before your birthday. There’s no way you’re going to be able to wait until the next holiday for the third book in the series, so I guess we’ll be getting it as a “just because” kind of gift. I can’t say no to a kid who really wants to read a good, challenging book.

When I do read aloud to you at bedtime, you often make astute observations. We may have finally exhausted the Humphrey series (thank goodness–they’re nice books, but I think we’ve been through the entire series twice now, and I’m ready to move on). Lately we’ve been reading The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies, and you quickly picked up on the way the author alternates between the perspectives of the two main characters. There’s also a lot of math in the book, and you’ve been anticipating the answers to the problems posed before the text addresses them.

You’re getting more independent, though. You love to pour your own beverages, even when the pitcher is really full. We haven’t had any serious disasters yet, so I guess you’re getting the hang of it. Your dad doesn’t like it, but you’ve proven more than once that an entire can of soda will fit into your favorite wine glass.

Health-wise, you seem to be doing well. The recent inclement weather has caused a delay in getting some of your supplements, but all your levels were good at your last appointment, so you’re probably not going get too thrown off track by missing a couple of days of Flintstones multivitamins. We’re fine on your supply of Humira, and you’ve been doing a wonderful job handling getting your shots. We have a whole routine worked out: you ice your leg in the spot where your dad is going to give you the shot, then you pinch yourself on the other leg as a distraction. There’s a TikTok video of funny dogs that you like, so as soon as your dad puts the needle in, I push play and you watch the dogs. The last couple of times, Tobin has asked to watch. I think he’s impressed by your bravery. It’s easy for us to think of you as the baby and treat you as such, so it’s good for you to be in a position to show off how mature you are.

We had a fun holiday season, a nice mix of busy and relaxed. We saw lots of different family members (though Uncle Mark’s cats didn’t show up enough for your liking), played games, ate a lot of treats, and watched a few movies. We went to the movie theater to see Wonka, and you really liked the recliner-style seats at the movie theater in Ames. You’re a good traveler, and I never feel like I have to worry about how you’ll handle road trips. You’re getting very excited for our spring break trip to the Keys. You and Tobin have agreed that you like the whole process, from staying in an airport hotel the night before to walking around the airport to flying to picking up the rental car to driving down to the Keys. It’s a process, and sometimes it’s a frustrating one, so I’m glad you’re going into it with a good attitude.

Your current favorites: steak frites, chicken wings, lemon poppyseed muffins, ribs, reading, YouTube, not wearing a shirt, dancing, cuddling at bedtime, and playing with your school friends. You’ve had a couple of playdates with a classmate who lives right down the street from us, so I hope you can continue to connect with him. You’re fun and have a lot to offer.

I love you so much, my big kid. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known you nine years, and yet I can’t believe you’re most of a decade old. You’re one of the great joys of my heart, and I’m so, so grateful to have you.

Love,

Mom

Happy 16th birthday, my darling!

Your birthday was the last day of winter break, and we celebrated with your favorite home-cooked dinner the previous night (linguine with homemade tomato sauce) and your favorite take-out (Panda Express) and ice cream cake on the actual day. You also enjoyed some presents and general goofing around. It’s a crummy time of year to have a party, especially considering the weather challenges we’ve had lately, but you got together with friends a couple of times during the break. Maybe when things warm up you can do something more organized.

You only went to school two days this week, because we had a couple of big weather events. The first storm came on the afternoon of your first day back to school following break. It dumped fifteen inches of snow on our area, which I learned is the largest accumulation of snow this county has had since 1973. You had two days off after that happened. Once that passed, you went to school one day. The following day, there was another storm, and you got Friday off school, which makes it a four-day weekend since Monday is Martin Luther King day. Now the temperatures have plummeted, and I wouldn’t be shocked if the four-day weekend morphed into a five-day weekend. So far you and your brothers seem to be enjoying the time off, but I think at some point you’ll feel ready to get back into your routine. January is always the month with the most weather challenges, and it seems to have all happened in a one-week span this year. Hopefully we’re almost past the worst of it and you’ll be able to get back to learning and socializing.

You’re not quite ready to get your driver’s license yet. You’ve completed Driver’s Ed and the written portion of your driving test, but you still need to wait until April until a full year has elapsed with your permit, and you need to take the driving test as well. You definitely need some more practice between now and then; we haven’t done enough this winter, and right now it’s dangerous even for an experienced driver. You don’t seem to have a lot of urge to get your license. I think that’s a generational difference. Many of your friends aren’t in a big hurry to either. Maybe it’s because we have pretty good public transportation around here, and we living within walking distance of your school. Either way, you’re not chomping at the bit. It would still be a good accomplishment, and once the streets are more passable, we’ll have to get out there and get more practice hours in before you take the final step.

We enjoyed some nice holiday togetherness with family, including a trip to Albia to see your dad’s family and a trip to Ames to see mine. The scarf in the photo above is actually a pair of pants, but you look cute in them either way. It was a pretty relaxing break, with nothing too wild happening. The whole family had to pitch in on the snow-removal effort, so you helped with that, with only minimal grumbling. It’s too cold to leave the house now, even with your jaunty scarf, so we’re all just hunkering down.

I really enjoy your company. You’re a good sport about hanging around for a while during family cocktail hour and at meals, and you always have something funny or interesting to say. You got the go-ahead at your most recent orthpaedics appointment to only wear your brace during sleeping hours. That’s been a nice lifestyle upgrade for you, since I don’t think it’s very comfortable. You’re almost done growing (which is good for our family shoe budget), and it means that your back is probably at or very near its final position. While it will never be completely straight, it’s close enough that you don’t have any activity restrictions, and it’s certainly not visibly noticeable. I’m glad you never needed to wear it to school, and I’m very glad that you did such a good job wearing it for the prescribed hours over the last few years.

Before break, you had a band concert, which Mubby and Skitter attended. It was impressive as usual; you and your fellow musicians do a great job. Right now, concert band and jazz band are your only school activities. I wish you’d get excited about something else, and you don’t even have the best attitude about music these days. I’m not sure what it will take to get you motivated about a particular area of study or recreation, but it seems like you need to get a fire lit under you somehow. Right now it seems like your level of enthusiasm is pretty low all around. You seem cheerful enough; you always make us laugh at the dinner table, and you have been watching a lot of movies and getting interested in film.

I’ve been looking around for summer camps or class that would let you do hands-on filmmaking, but I haven’t found anything yet. You attended the Filmscene animation camp many times and the miniatures camp once, and you liked them a lot, but you feel like you’ve gotten all you can get out of them. I reached out to the Filmscene people to see if they were running any more advanced filmmaking camps, but they’re not for the time being. I’ll keep looking around. Your dad wants you to get a job this summer, which is not out of the question, but I’d be just has happy if you were engaged in some kind of learning and/or artistic experience.

Your current favorites: sleeping in late on all these snow days, playing Minecraft, watching movies, watching the show Lupin with your dad, pasta, Honey Nut Cheerios, Goldfish crackers, making us laugh with your witticisms, getting good grades, and being a great kid.

I love you so much, my dear Artemis. Sixteen will bring new challenges and new joys, and I’m so glad to share them with you.

Love,

Mom