Dear Tobin,

Your prime season is coming up: outdoor play season. You are a kid who loves action and adventure, and those things are much easier to find when you’re able to leave the house. You’ve started baseball for the season, and you even joined me when I took Callum to his practice the other night. One of your good friends from school also likes to come along when his younger brother practices, and you were able to find each other and do some pitching and hitting together. I imagine you’ll be doing lots of biking and skateboarding this summer, too, though we do need to get some repairs done on your bike.

School has continued to go well. You often bring home math tests with 100% grades on the top, and I know you’ve been having fun being with your friends. After spring break, we decided to let you start eating lunch at school again. At that time, your school had COVID mitigation measures in place that included eating in your classroom rather than in the crowded cafeteria. Unfortunately, we just found out that next week you’re moving back to the cafeteria situation. This seems like poor timing to me. Just hours after you told me about that upcoming change, we got an email from the superintendent noting the rising COVID levels in our community and beyond. They still haven’t reinstated a mask mandate, and I don’t understand why now is the right time to push everybody onto those crowded cafeteria benches again.

I know you liked staying at school for lunch with your friends, but I think I’m going to start picking you up again. I definitely want to do this in the short term, because the week after next, your dad and I are going to be out of town. Mubby and Skitter are coming to take care of you, and while they’re fully vaccinated and double-boosted, I still want to do everything in my power to keep them safe. I would feel just terrible if they got COVID from one of you kids and I could have prevented it.

I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful few days. I’ve written out a long document with all the important times and places for you and your siblings, and it looks intimidating when it’s all in one place. I was telling your dad it made me feel proud of myself for storing it in my head most of the time. What’s most important, though, is that you’re happy and safe. I know Mubby and Skitter will do a great job with those goals. You’ll probably get more junk food than usual and more leeway in other areas, too, but I imagine it will be okay.

I have mixed feelings about going on this trip at all. I wouldn’t have chosen to do it now, but the groom is your dad’s cousin, and it’s important to your dad that we go. The groom is short on immediate family, so I understand that it’s valuable to show up and be supportive. I truly like both the bride and groom and am happy to be part of the bride’s official welcome. The wedding is at a resort in Mexico, so I imagine we’ll be able to squeeze some fun out the situation. I’m nervous about COVID, and I’m already steeling myself to get razzed about wearing a mask as often as I can. Lucky for me, I would never prioritize fitting in over sticking to my values, so I’ll just go ahead and wear my mask a lot, opinions of others be damned. You’re a bit crabby that we’re going without you, but it’s an adults-only event, and I wouldn’t want you to miss school anyway. Maybe, if we have a fantastic time, we can go again as a family some day.

You’ve gotten involved in Family Folk Machine again, now that it’s meeting in person. I don’t think singing is your favorite art form, but you’ve had fun hanging out with your friend Ben again. You also will be playing bass on one song in the concert. I’m glad your bass teacher is also a friend of Family Folk Machine, because he’s super flexible and willing to take on the task of helping you learn your part. You’ve been doing lessons via Zoom for the last few weeks, because driving out to Coralville for your lessons was not going to work with the baseball schedule. That’s not ideal—I’m sure in-person lessons are more effective, but I’m glad we have an alternative available. That’s one of the good things to come out of the pandemic: we as a society have a much clearer idea of what can be done via online meetings, and we’ve all learned the technology well enough that we’re not scared to use it when the moment is right.

Your current favorites: pepperoni pizza, Laundry Ball (the indoor sport that makes a lot of noise and seems never to grow old for you), watching Psych with your dad and Artemis, watching NBA basketball, playing basketball in area parks, playing baseball with your team, bagels with cream cheese, helping make stir fry for dinner, and listening to audiobooks.

You’re a kind, generous, funny, and helpful little guy, Tobin. I was watching an old video of you playing basketball with your dad and Skitter when you were two. You don’t need Skitter to lift you up to the hoop anymore, but your enthusiasm and joy haven’t changed. You’re a wonder, and I’m so glad to have you.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

You are becoming such an interesting little person. One of the things I most appreciate about you is how comfortable you are both alone and with others. Ever since you were a baby, you’ve been able to amuse yourself. I could give you a toy and you’d sit and play with it for a long time. Nowadays, you still do that, and not only when there’s a screen in front of you. Sometimes you go outside to play by yourself, with the condition that you must stay in our back yard, and you can just hang out for over an hour. You stack rocks, play with sticks, examine the tree and garden, sing songs to yourself, and get dirty.

You’re equally happy to play with others, though, especially your siblings. You love it when they get home from school and play with you. You and Tobin like to play Laundry Ball (basketball shot into a laundry basket), and you and Artemis like to play video games. I’m so glad you have them, because two years of online school has limited your socialization opportunities. You’re on a baseball team this spring, which just started, so hopefully that will give you some chances to play with kids your age too.

We had an absolutely wonderful trip to the Florida Keys during Spring Break. After two full years of very limited activities, it was so much fun to return to some of our old favorites. Best of all, the area is primed for open-air fun. Our two favorite restaurants are open to the breezes, and the aquarium is all open-air too. Of course we spent lots of time in the pool and the ocean, and you and your dad and Tobin even took advantage of the tennis court. I’m not sure you’re ready to face off against either Williams sister yet, but it was a fun new activity for you to explore. We also visited a nature preserve that had lots of interesting flora and fauna. A highlight of that excursion was the fish pedicure. We sat at the edge of a lagoon and stuck our feet in, and little fish nibbled our dead foot skin. It tickled a lot.

We normally reserve sodas for our weekly family cocktail hour on Saturday nights, but we were on vacation mode, which meant cocktail hour every day. You acquired quite a taste for Sprite, and you’ve been asking for it every day since we got home. Eventually you’ll realize that I’m not going to relent—sugary soda is a treat, not a daily choice. I admire your perseverance, but it’s not going to happen. Your dad and I are going out of town for a few days next month, and Mubby and Skitter will be here to take care of you. I imagine if you try during that time, you might get a different outcome.

Today, after your writing lesson in school, you showed me a story you wrote about our trip to the beach. You were proud to show me the way you described the experience using all five sense:  you saw the water, heard the birds, smelled the sea air, felt the warm sun, and tasted the picnic we had on the beach. You said that writing is your favorite subject, and I’m glad you’re excited about it. You’ve been doing very well in all your subject areas, and these days you’re doing language arts ELP once a week. It will be interesting to see how your academics progress once you’re back to in-person school. Online school is very easy to tailor to your interests and abilities, and I hope it’s not frustrating for you to be in a less individualized environment. In any case, you’ve built very solid reading and math skills, so I’m confident you have a good foundation.

Last Christmas, you got a watch as a gift, and you’ve recently rediscovered it. One of your favorite of its functions is the alarm, and you’ve been getting yourself out of bed every morning since you started using it. That’s been very helpful, as our mornings are often harried, trying to get everyone fed and combed and to the correct place. You used to be kind of a bear to get out of bed, but now that you get to use your fancy watch to wake up, it’s been a lot easier. Every morning when I go in to wake Tobin up, I check on you as well. It’s always a Where’s Waldo moment to find you in the sea of stuffed animals, and it’s hard to predict where your head will be pointing. You’re an active sleeper.

You like me to stay with you at night until you fall asleep, which is fine with me, because I like to cuddle you and listen to audiobooks. In fact, I probably sleep for 30 to 45 minutes in your bed every night. I’m not always a great sleeper, so it’s nice to know that no matter how crummily the rest of the night might go, at least I have a solid chunk of sleep next to you.

Your current favorites: playing King’s Quest VI on my computer, riding your scooter, playing baseball, cuddling with your massive pile of stuffed animals, the Magic Treehouse book series, reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with your dad, strawberry ice cream with chocolate syrup, and steak.

You are sweet, tender, sometimes crabby, and often funny. I love that you’re getting braver and are excited about trying new things, like swimming in the ocean and playing baseball.  I love you so much, my bright-eyed boy.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Artemis,

Teachers always say that the weeks after spring break are a race to the finish line, and it’s true that you don’t have much time left as a junior high student. We’ve attended a handful of events at the high school, so it doesn’t seem completely outrageous to think about you attending school there every day, but it’s still going to be a big transition. As the oldest kid, you have the blaze the trail for our family. Dad and I are learning along with you, from big-picture things like course selections and thinking about college to small-scale issues like where to drop you off in the morning. Sometimes when things like this feel overwhelming, I remind myself how many people before me have navigated it successfully. You’re smart, I’m smart, and we’ll figure it out. Unlike the world-level crises we’re also facing, school details will surely sort themselves out.

We had a really wonderful Florida Keys trip last month. The condo we rented this time was larger than our previous rentals, so you had the private space you enjoy. You spent a lot of time in the pool, as I expected, and you surprised me by doing a good amount of ocean swimming too. The beach near our condo was really nice, shallow for a long distance, and the water was warm. The weather was hotter than it has been on previous trips, which made for lots of good swimming. We also did some gentle forays into public life, including eating at a couple of open-air restaurants and visiting a nature center. I don’t think you would describe that as your favorite part of the trip, but you were a pretty good sport about it. You used an app on your phone to identify many of the native plant species. You declined to put your feet in the water for a fish pedicure, but we had a nice hike and a good conversation about Wordle strategies.

You are an excellent Wordler, often figuring out the mystery word in fewer guesses than I need. It’s been a fun challenge for us, and it makes me happy when you text me from school bragging about an impressive score. There aren’t a lot of topics where I feel like we really understand the other’s perspective (our current disconnect is about how or whether a person should use the slang term yeet), so it’s nice to be able to bond with you over five-letter words.

You’ve been spending a lot of time lately working on a Dungeons & Dragons adventure for you and a few of your friends. This will only be your second time playing and your first time DM-ing (that is, serving as Dungeon Master, or the creative force and guide for the event). The DM of your last adventure was impressed by your skill level, though, and told you he thought you would be ready to DM on your own. I’ve been overhearing a lot of discussion on that with your friends lately, so I hope it’s a fun experience. The warm-weather days are approaching, which leads to more opportunities to do things in-person with friends.

Even though you’ve technically aged out of Filmscene Animation Camp, your counselor last summer assured you that you’d always be welcome back. For that reason, I went ahead and signed you up. It’s always been a good experience for you, and I’m hoping one of these years it can segue into a summer job-type situation where you could be a teacher or assistant. Earlier this morning, Skitter was observing you interacting with Callum, and he noted how kind and patient you are. He’s always thought you’d be a good teacher, and I think he’s right.

We got some good news at your most recent physical therapy appointment. The exercises we’ve been doing seem to be achieving their goal of preventing further curvature of your spine. The therapist even suspected that your curve may be a bit improved, though her measurement methods aren’t as precise as X-rays. You’ll have more X-rays in June, at which time we’ll think about the next steps, but it’s probable that you’ll be able to stop or at least significantly reduce your physical therapy. You’ve been such a trooper about doing PT and wearing your brace consistently.

You had a bit of a meltdown at your PT appointment when the therapist back-pedaled on something she had said previously—at our last appointment, she virtually guaranteed that you would be done with PT soon, but it turns out she misread your file and thought you were further into your growth trajectory than you are. It’s still not out of the question that you can stop, but it was a rough combination of circumstances. You were tired, hungry, had your hopes reduced, and the physical therapist didn’t know your cues and prodded you when you needed to be left alone. At that moment, you let loose some of the negative emotions you’ve probably been feeling all along but usually keep under control. I felt terrible for you, and so did the therapist. After some cooling-off time, you seem back to your usual reasonable attitude toward the whole thing. I’m still sorry it’s something you have to face, though. You’re normally an even-keeled person, but I caught a glimpse of the furious side of you that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Everybody feels angry and sad sometimes, especially considering all we’re dealing with. It’s okay to burst now and then.

Your grades continue to be excellent. You decided to take an art class this trimester, which is a little out of your comfort zone. You had initially signed up to take computer programming, but due to staff shortages, the school cancelled that class and put you into something nebulous called “Volunteer.” A friend took that class second trimester and told you it wasn’t so good, so your dad and I encouraged you to see your guidance counselor to pick something else. You seem to be enjoying the art class so far. Even though it may not mesh with your natural talents as well as computer programming would have, I’m glad you’re trying something creative and interesting.

Your current favorites: Minecraft, Mario Maker 2, Dungeons & Dragons, pasta, root beer, sleeping late, and making up witty rejoinders. Sometimes those go over well and sometimes they don’t, depending on the timing and the recipient. A big part of maturation is determining when a witty rejoinder would be welcome, and I hope you’re figuring that out.

I am very proud of the person you’re becoming, Artie-Heartie. Every life brings ups and downs, and you’re handling it as well as I could hope. I wish you a fun and satisfying last couple of months of eighth grade.

Love,

Mom