Dear Callum,

We started our Spring Break trip to the Keys in a pickle: you came down with a sore throat on the morning we left. We gave it a couple of days to see if it was a virus that would pass on its own, but it didn’t, so your dad took you to a local clinic. One strep throat diagnosis and a penicillin prescription later, you were much better. I’m sorry the trip didn’t get off to a great start for you, but the antibiotics worked quickly and you were still able to have a great time.

Lucky for us, the weather was gorgeous, and you spent a lot of time in the pool. While you’re still a beginner at swimming, you’re a lot more confident than you used to be, and we were able to trust you to stay safe in the pool without a bigger person right next to you. You’ve been taking swimming lessons, and you were able to use some of your skills on vacation. One goal you set for yourself was for all three siblings to jump in the pool together, and you did just that.

An activity we did that you really enjoyed was a trip to Pigeon Key. That’s a small island off the main drag that was the home base for railroad workers who built the original Six Mile Bridge. You took the historical tour with your dad and Art, and when that was done, you joined Tobin and me for some snorkeling under the pier. You got the hang of snorkel breathing pretty well, and the water was shallow enough that it wasn’t too intimidating for you. We saw lots of colorful and interesting fish, including some very big ones, and you pointed out sea urchins to us. You had so much fun that you used the snorkel in the pool when we got back to our condo, and you were able to do more face-down swimming than you had done previously.

Photo by Denny

Another goal you set for the trip was to eat mozzarella sticks. I know it sounds like an easily-attainable goal, but we don’t eat in restaurants very often at home, and mozzarella sticks are best consumed fresh out of the fryer. I was looking through different area restaurant menus and saw that Porky’s Bayside had mozzarella sticks on order. We had never been there before, but they also had a mini-golf course, which sounded like a fun thing to do on a nice evening. It ended up being lots of fun, and the food was great. You loved the mozzarella sticks and ribs (though you didn’t think they were quite as good as Skitter’s ribs), and my shrimp tacos were delicious. We had a lot of fun playing mini-golf, too. The course was very pretty, with fun water features and tropical plants. I think Porky’s Bayside will be on our “must-do” list for our next trip down.

Unfortunately, vacations have to end, so we got back to real life. Spring is always super busy around here, with sports and music concerts and school events. You’ve been enjoying school this year, especially ELP and reading. You like playing with your friends Griffin, Landon, Josie, and Norah. On Thursdays, you have recess right before dismissal time, so I sometimes get to watch you playing with your friends when I come to pick you up. Your group is often examining rocks, bugs, and other elements of the natural world. I enjoyed being a chaperone on your school trip to the Stanley Art Museum a week or two ago. You and your friends were respectful and interested, and it was really interesting to learn more about some of the artwork. I even got to sit next to you on the bus. Third graders can sing “The Wheels on the Bus” very loudly.

Your school started a chess club, and you and Tobin have been attending that after school once a week. You have been holding your own just fine, even though you’re one of the younger members of the club. You often get paired with a sixth-grader for a match. Recently, you beat a sixth-grader in five moves. She was a beginner, so she wasn’t too surprised by the outcome, but it was still cool. You’ve also been crazy about solving your Rubik’s cube lately. Until recently, you could only solve one side. That’s more than I can solve, so I was plenty impressed by just that. You kept studying and practicing algorithms, and now you can solve it every time. You’ve been timing yourself and sometimes asking me to time you, and now you can consistently do it in about two minutes, sometimes less. You are a sharp little guy.

Your current favorites: Rubik’s cube, the Masterminds book series by Gordon Korman, baseball (both practicing with your team and playing in the park with your dad and Tobin), cookie tubes, ribeye steaks, playing Gorilla Tag on the Oculus with your friends, and being cozy with your stuffed animals at night.

You’re such a joy, my sweet Callum. Thank you for having a wonderful vacation with me, and thank you for making even normal days better than normal.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

As I mentioned in your older sibling’s monthly letter, I am way behind. It was my dream to get this done before we went on our trip, but it just didn’t happen. I have so many great photos and things to talk about that happened on our vacation, but I’d rather save that for next month. Now I’m in the challenging position of thinking back to what happened the month before. Luckily, you usually have interesting thoughts and ideas and activities, so I’m sure I’ll be able to think of something.

Right before we left, I walked up to school to pick you up, and your teacher stopped me. That always makes me nervous, not because I’m worried about your behavior, but just because I hope school goes smoothly for you. Fortunately, this time she stopped me for a good reason. Your school is starting a chess club, and membership is on a first come, first served basis. She said that you got so excited about it when you heard the announcement, she wanted me to fill out your application on the spot so you’d have an excellent chance of getting in. Tobin is also hoping to do it. I’m happy that you both want to take part. I anticipate more chess games in our house as you hone your skills.

You finished your basketball season successfully. There were a couple of older kids on your team who were pretty advanced, but your coaches (including but not limited to your dad) did a good job making sure everyone got a chance to play. I can tell your skills have grown since last year, and I’m glad you had fun and continued to improve. You decided not to play soccer this spring, but you do want to play baseball again. You’ll move up to junior league this year, which means it will be kid-pitch. It’s your first time in that situation, which is always a crapshoot with beginning pitchers. Let’s hope everyone gets out uninjured.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Your school year is continuing to go well. You especially enjoy ELP. We had a conference with your ELP teacher, and she showed us a keychain you designed and 3-D printed. It’s in the shape of a rectangle with a chess piece emerging from it and your name embossed. You were very proud of it, and rightly so. Your teacher said it was particularly notable because you could choose from a variety of design elements, and rather than choosing something pre-fab, you built the chess piece out of smaller components. She even kept it a little extra time in order to show it to her students at the other school where she works. You got it back this week and are happily displaying it along with your other backpack decorations.

We had your conference with your main classroom teacher as well, and that also was full of good news. You’re excelling academically and getting along well with your classmates. You told me today that you’ve gotten to be good friends with a newer student to your class, Landon. Apparently he also enjoys Minecraft. Your dad and I always get a kick out of your schoolwork when you bring it home. Recently you were tasked with writing examples sentences to reflect different feelings. To answer the question “What would make you feel embarrassed?” you wrote “Net worth = $0.” To answer the question “How would you apologize?” you wrote “Sigh…I’m really sorry.” I can hear you saying exactly that, complete with the little sigh.

Your current favorites: Sprite, cookie tubes (those wafer roll cookies that come in a cylindrical tin), YouTube, playing Gorilla Tag on the Oculus, reading The International House of Dereliction by Jacqueline Davies at bedtime, listening to “Take On Me” over and over, stripping off most of your clothes as soon as you get into the house after school, and red Kool-Aid.

You are a fun, quirky, sweet and special kid. I love you and am so glad we have each other.

Love,

Mom

My dear Callum,

As usual, this month has been full of moments of laughter. You say the funniest things, and you’re so smart and perceptive. One of the very best times of the day for me each night is our bedtime routine, when we read from a book, say our goodnights, do a couple of puzzles on my phone, and fall asleep. I don’t always fall asleep next to you, but I often do, and it’s always a snuggly and cozy time.

You are absolutely capable of reading on your own; in fact, you’ve gotten hooked on a book series and are anxiously awaiting the latest installment. You still let me read to you, though, and I really enjoy it. Right now, we’re reading The Candy Smash by Jacqueline Davies. It’s part a series, and the one of the main characters has a consistent problem (maybe due to neurodivergence?) understanding other people’s emotions and motivations. That’s not an area where you struggle; you often palm your face in frustration with Jessie’s insensitivity and bluntness. It’s given us good opportunities to discuss how she could make better choices in human interactions.

Like the rest of us, you’re getting excited for our upcoming Spring Break trip to the Florida Keys. You and Tobin have started marking off the days on the calendar Skitter gave you. Right now the aspect you’re most looking forward to is mozzarella sticks. We don’t do a lot of in-restaurant dining these days, out of an abundance of caution for your health, and mozzarella sticks don’t seem like they’d do well as take-out. But there are many restaurants down in the Keys that are open air, including one that has both mozzarella sticks and mini-golf. It will be fun to order freshly-fried delights and do a little putt-putting in a tropical environment. We’ve been to this Key enough times that we have old favorite places to go as well as new things we want to try.

You’ve been taking swimming lessons, and you’re making big improvements. On our last trip, you only wanted to swim using a pool noodle. I hope this time you’re more confident and able to have a little more freedom. You told me that it’s your goal to do a cannonball into the pool at the same time as your siblings, and I really hope the three of you can make that happen. I’m getting pumped about the fun that awaits us.

We have an appointment with your GI specialist in a couple of weeks, but it seems like your health is going well. I’m doing my best to keep pushing food into you, since weight gain has been a challenge for you. It’s also been a challenge for your older sibling Artemis, who doesn’t have any GI disease, so I’m not sure I’m going to be very successful in that area. You may just be a skinny person by nature. Still, I rarely say no to snacks, and I try to offer you a lot of tasty and nutritious food. You’re a pretty good eater, though I wish you’d eat more vegetables.

Unfortunately, due to scheduling constraints we can’t avoid, we have to do a Humira shot while we’re on vacation. A friend of our who has diabetes has given us some good tips about traveling with syringes, and we’re going to be getting a special insulated container to hopefully keep it cool throughout our travels. My worst worry is that we’ll accidentally leave it in the hotel refrigerator in our scramble to get out for our 7:10 a.m. flight, but surely I can do something to make it obvious that we need to empty the mini-fridge.

School seems to be going well. We’ll have conferences in a couple of weeks, but I haven’t heard anything that makes me concerned. You seem to have friends, you’re doing well in all the academic areas, and you really like your ELP class. Your wonderful ELP teacher is retiring after this school year, so I hope the next one is just as good. You went to a Valentine’s Day party at your friend Norah’s house last weekend, and you were really excited about that. You have a birthday party for your friend Connor coming up too.

You’re also excited about this summer’s adventures, including your first time going to Filmscene Animation. That’s something Artemis has done many times and Tobin did once, so you’re ready to take up the challenge. We go to movies at Filmscene pretty often, and it will feel like a pretty big deal to take you to camp there, just like the big kids. Whether I want to admit it or not, you’re becoming a big kid. You’re creative and capable, and I can’t wait to see what you do.

Your current favorites: your cozy sweatshirt-blanket garment, playing Gorilla Tag on the Oculus with your friend Griffin, playing with your friends at school, basketball, the big cat pillow Suzy and Joe gave you, ice cream, chicken wings, and being snuggly.

You’re a sweet, kind, smart little guy. I’m so lucky to be your mom.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tobin,

As usual, you’ve approached the last month with enthusiasm and vigor. You play with friends almost every day after school, and you’re always up to some kind of plan or adventure. Earlier this month, you and two of your neighborhood friends earned almost a hundred dollars by raking people’s yards on one afternoon. You claim to be saving up to build a gaming PC, though I’m not sure you really know what that project entails. Your dad seems reluctant to get you started on that, maybe because he anticipates how much of it he would end up doing. You already spend a fair amount of time playing video games on the devices we own, so adding another piece of hardware (many different pieces, I’d guess) might not be the best strategy for your development.

Another money-making scheme of yours is participating in scientific experiments. You tell me to sign you up whenever an experiment comes along that you are eligible for, and you’ve raked in a good amount of money and gift cards for your efforts. Your most recent one is a study of talented and gifted youth. You filled out a survey, did an interview, did activities on a computer, had your vitals measured (including the hand-scan below, which was measuring your finger proportions), took an IQ test, and sent in a saliva sample for genetic analysis.

We haven’t received the results of the IQ test yet, and I actually told the graduate student who administered the test that I’d rather not know. I feel like there’s not much benefit to knowing your own or your child’s IQ. I think of you as really smart, and there’s no need to put a number on that. If your score on that one test on that one day were lower than I expected, I’d feel sad. If your score were really high, you might get an overinflated ego or put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. Either way, we’re happy to support the research, and the details matter less than the fact that I know you’re a creative, bright, friendly, excellent kid. You’re also happy to get Amazon gift cards.

You had a fun Halloween, joining up with a group of friends in a neighborhood not too far from ours. You were a Chaos Agent, which I guess is a character from the video game Fortnite. I had never heard of it, but you showed me a picture, and I did the best I could. I think the costume turned out pretty cool. It was a chilly night, but you were pretty well-bundled and came home with lots of candy. You were kind enough to include Callum in your group, at least to start. He is good friends with the little brother of one of your friends, so it worked out well for a little-kids’ subgroup to form. Your dad walked with the little kids, and the bigger kids were free-range. Luckily everyone stayed safe and watched out for each other. It was a good night, and I think you’re finally through your candy.

You’ve enjoyed having more free time now that soccer season is over. As I mentioned above, you spend most afternoons playing with friends. You always want plenty of warning on stir-fry night, though, so you can help me make it. You also are an expert pizza maker. Mubby and Skitter were visiting a couple of weeks ago when we made Tobin’s Famous Pizza, and it was fun to include them. We only make one smallish pizza at a time, so it becomes an entire-evening affair, with the whole family involved. This time around, you not only did your usual saucing, pepperoni-ing, and cheesing, but you also cut up vegetables. You’re a pretty big vegetable-eater most of the time, but for pizza, you’re a purist. Luckily there were other pizza-eaters who appreciated the peppers and onions.

We’ve been talking a lot about our 2026 Europe trip, and I know the pizza part will be fun for you. Maybe we could even take a cooking class or do some other culinary activity. You have an adventurous spirit, and we’ll have a wonderful time learning together. Our spring break trip to the Florida Keys is coming up in a few months, and we’ve been sighing over how excited we are to get there. Not only do you love adventure, you love family traditions, and that’s what Keys are for us.

Your current favorites: helping me plan travel, such as scouring VRBO for possible European vacation rentals and viewing the one we already have booked for the Keys; being wiggly and not staying in your chair through meals; your favorite Adidas sweatpants and cozy hoodie; playing soccer and other sports with your friends; cooking and trying new foods; and reading (especially the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book you got at the school book fair and anything by Rick Riordan).

You’re a joy, a spark, a dash of flavor in our family sauce. I love you so much, Tobin.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tobin,

Sixth grade is continuing along well. While you’ve never had trouble making friends, this year has marked an especially big boom in socializing. You’re still close with you long-time friends, but you’ve also expanded your circle. It seems like every weekend you’re invited to a sleepover at a different friend’s house. You were begging and begging to host one, and since we hadn’t yet reciprocated the generosity of the families who hosted you, your dad and I relented. You had a long weekend off from school, so one of those nights, a few of your friends came over. You played soccer, hide-and-seek, and touch football in the park; ate pizza, chips, and Oreos; stayed up late shrieking; and had a good time all-around. You were really happy with how it went, and I’m sure we’ll be doing it again before sixth grade is out.

You’re a good brother, always ready to engage in active pursuits with Callum. He’s noticed you reading a lot lately and copied you, getting excited about a thick, challenging book. You included him really kindly in your sleepover, letting him hang out with you and your friends until bedtime. You told me that when Artemis had a sleepover, they didn’t let you hang out much, and it hurt your feelings. I read an adage somewhere that a good litmus test of character is whether pains of the past spur a person to expect others to suffer equally, or whether they spur a person to make the world better for others. I’m really proud that you’ve chosen the latter.

Soccer has been another big deal for you lately. You switched to a different team this year, one that includes a lot of your school friends, and you’ve been having a blast with it. Your team had been doing very well until the last couple of weeks, when you’ve had losses, but overall it’s been a great season. You love carpooling to practice with your friend Zach, scrimmaging and skill-building with your friends, and playing the games. You only have one game left this season, which is probably disappointing to you, but I’ll be glad to have soccer wrapped up. It’s only going to get chillier as we move through fall. Also, since Callum’s games are usually not at the same time as yours, it can make for a long day out at the soccer fields. I’m sure you’ll want to play again in the spring, though.

Although you’ve generally been an early-riser when left to your own internal clock, it’s been getting hard to wake you up in the morning. I fear you’re shifting to a teenage schedule of wanting to stay up late and sleep in late. In our school district, secondary school starts an hour later than elementary school, so next year your timeframe will be different. Even when you were a baby and toddler, it was very difficult to wake you up before your body was ready. I remember needing to wake you up early from a nap many days when it was time to go pick up your sibling from school, and I quickly learned that I needed to build in a ten-minute buffer. If I tried to maximize your sleep by letting you continue your nap until the last minute, there was hell to pay. You needed at least ten minutes to just sit there and be grumpy before I could even talk to you.

You’re not quite as much of a turd upon waking up these days, but it’s still a challenge. Your dad handles that task most mornings while I’m packing lunches for you and your siblings. Now and then I am the one who does it, and it always amazes me how challenging it is to get you out of bed. Once the parent in charge finally succeeds, you go straight to the couch and sleep some more. I go over and ask you whether you want your usual cereal for breakfast, and you murmur a yes. I pour your cereal and milk and go back to tell you it’s ready, but you’re always fast asleep again. Then either your dad or I has the job of prying you off the couch. Once we’re successful in that, you eat your breakfast and get dressed. Most days, I then find you asleep in Callum’s bed, fully dressed and ready for school, but happy to nap for a while longer while Callum finishes getting ready.

When you’re not sleeping, playing soccer, or hanging with your friends, you enjoy being part of science experiments. I frequently receive invitations for various paid research endeavors, and whenever you’re eligible to be a subject, you want to do it. You’ve crossed simulated roads while virtual reality cars are passing, you’ve had electrodes measuring your brain waves as you hear different sounds, and you’re part of a longitudinal study about how kids read and learn language. The most recent one you’re doing is part of a study researching the genetic elements of intelligence. You and I both filled out surveys and spit into tubes so they scientists could learn about our genes. You got invited back to the second stage of the study, which involves having your vital signs taken, participating in an interview, and taking a test. The third stage, which is optional, involves an MRI. I don’t know if you’ll be invited to participate in that or even if you’ll want to, but I’m sure the compensation will be part of your decision-making process. You love getting the paychecks and gift cards that come of these experiences. I love being a part of science that could help future generations be safer, healthier, and happier.

Your current favorites: The Percy Jackson book series (and its spin-offs) by Rick Riordan, online gaming with your friends, hanging out with friends after school, sleepovers, soccer, helping cook, and sneaking naps on various soft surfaces throughout the house.

You’re a hoot, a joy, and a big source of smiles. Your mouth always has something enthusiastic and energetic to say, even if your dad wishes you would eat more quietly. It doesn’t bother me, and I’m glad you approach every facet of life with gusto.

Love,

Mom

Dear Artie,

Fall is here, and it’s as busy as usual. Marching band has been taking up a lot of your time lately, with football games, competitions, showcases, and parties keeping us all busy. You’re not a huge fan of the marching component of marching band. You said to me, “I wish there was a kind of band where you just there and play music.” I don’t know if you were being deliberately obtuse or not, but when I replied, “You mean like a band concert?”, you agreed that that was a good idea.

Sophomore year seems to be going well so far. You’re taking challenging classes, including the honors versions of English and French, as well as AP World History. It seems like you’re more challenged this year. When I poke my head into your room each night to say goodnight to you, you’re often doing homework. Last year you didn’t have to do homework very often, so I’m glad you are getting things done of your own volition. I’m also glad you have access to thought-provoking coursework and good teachers. When your dad and I went to your school’s Parents’ Night earlier in the fall, we were impressed with your teachers and the content you’ll be learning.

While you do still spend a lot of time in your room, you’ve been getting out and doing things (besides marching band) too. You went to the Homecoming Dance with friends (and foiled my efforts to get pictures), you joined us on a trip to the ice skating rink on a recent no-school day, and you’ve been a pleasant and entertaining member of the family cocktail hour squad. I’m often impressed with what a funny, intelligent person you’re becoming. We’re coming up on a school board election in our community, and there are a handful of candidates who are using the dog-whistle of “parental involvement” to push for things like removing LGBTQ issues, the discussion of slavery and the Civil Rights movement, and other foolhardy efforts. I take such joy in hearing your thoughts and ideas, even when I don’t fully agree with them or hadn’t considered them. Why would parents want their children to only be exposed to concepts they, the parents, already know? One of the greatest pleasures of my life is learning from you. What a loss it would be to only hear you spout things I taught you. Plus we’d be SOL on the France portion of our Europe trip. I’m counting on you for that.

You took the PSAT recently. You have a while yet before college, but taking that kind of step in the collegiate direction felt a little wild. You said the first three sections were surprisingly easy and the last section was surprisingly hard, so I guess we’ll see how it all sorts out. You haven’t yet expressed any particular opinions on where you’d like to attend college or what you’d like to study, but I’m not too concerned about that. I hadn’t thought any of that through too much at your age either.

We’re all up to date on our Covid vaccines now, which eases my mind a bit as you attend school unmasked this year. Of course, you managed to catch it last year even wearing  mask most of the time. There’s no really effective way to mask during band and at lunch, and I want you to be able to enjoy your school experience. You got over it pretty easily then, and now that our vaccines are re-upped, there’s no reason to think we wouldn’t all do okay if it hits our house again. Callum is the wildcard, due to his immunosuppression, but we’ll just have to do our best and take comfort in knowing that his doctors said most patients in his position do fine with Covid. It’s funny to think that it’s in all likelihood a permanent part of our lives now. Since I plan to live to 100, I’ll live over half my life in a Covid world. You’ll live the great majority of yours in one. Fortunately we have access to vaccines, good hospitals, and other valuable advantages. It’s hard for me, because my instinct is to do anything and everything I can to protect you and your siblings, but I guess I need to relax my grip a bit in order to let you develop into interesting people.

Perhaps I should take some of my own advice from above: I can’t expect to hold you as tightly as I want to and still have you grow, learn, and explore. It’s a matter of balance. You’re a smart and trustworthy person, and there’s nothing I want more than for you to grow into your own self-determined future.

Your current favorites: the French singer/songwriter Zaz, cream soda, Goldfish crackers and Honey Nut Cheerios, pasta in many shapes, the shows Breaking Bad and Lost, exclusively wearing comfy clothes, using the Scratch programming language to build games, schooling me on the subtleties of modern slang, and sleeping late.

Every conversation I have with you makes me think, and a lot of them make me laugh, too. I love you, you’re important to me, and I’m so glad to know you.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tobin,

The school year has begun, and you have jumped right into a high-action lifestyle. Lately you’ve been getting up early to go for a run before school, sometimes with your dad, sometimes with your friend Jack, and sometimes by yourself. I really admire your dedication. You’re adjusting well to your new class. It doesn’t have your entire friend group in it, but it has enough of your close pals that you’re generally satisfied. Almost every day after school, you play with friends. You have soccer several days a week, and you’d probably be playing fall baseball, too, if I let you. That would just be more than our family schedule could handle.

One thing that has been good for all of us is the arrival of your Apple Watch. It’s very handy for you to text me with your after-school plans, and I can see where you are using Find My iPhone. It’s a relief to me to be able to keep better tabs on you, and of course you think it’s cool to have a not-quite phone. Given your personality, I could see you overdoing it with a true phone, so this is a good compromise. It’s also harder to lose something that’s strapped to your body.

As a sixth grader, you have more opportunities and responsibilities. You’re a member of Safety Patrol, which is a group of sixth grades tasked with helping younger kids cross the streets around the school safely before and after the school day begins. You recently had your first week on duty, and you loved it so much. Somehow it’s not surprising that you enjoy power, but I think you were friendly about it. Callum and I got a kick out of letting you guide us past the parking lot entrance as we walked home. You were bummed out when you found out there were six teams, so it won’t be your turn again for over a month. It might be a little less pleasant when it’s very cold outside, but the faculty sponsor provides hot chocolate on the chilly days. I’ve heard talk that the program may be ending this year, because sixth graders are moving to the junior high next year. I guess it remains to be seen whether fifth graders are mature enough to handle the job. In any case, I’m glad you got to be part of possibly the last class of Safety Patrollers.

You got really into swimming this summer, and our local pool closes after Labor Day. Labor Day happened to be a hot one, so you convinced the whole family to go out and celebrate one more summer splash. You’ve gotten very competent at swimming and brave about going off the diving boards. You’ve also expressed interest in snorkeling on our Florida Keys trip this spring. I’ve been wanting to take a trip to Pigeon Key, and their website indicates that there’s good snorkeling there suitable for beginners. Maybe one day we’ll do a bigger-deal snorkeling trip, but this could be a good way to start. You may need to put a new wet suit on your Christmas list.

After much campaigning on your part, we’ve decided to let you stop masking at school. In my ideal world, you’d mask forever, but you really didn’t want to. Very few people mask anymore, and you’re such a social person that I think the weirdness factor influenced you. Your dad and I just got our Covid boosters, and I’m working on getting them scheduled for you kids. It’s true that Covid isn’t the deadly threat it used to be, and Callum’s doctors reassured us that even kids like him on immunosuppressants generally do okay with Covid. I guess it’s just a matter of when at this point, but I’d still like to avoid it as much as I can. It generally hits adults harder than kids, so if I get it, who will take care of you and your siblings? You might have to get the Chomp Delivery app on your Apple Watch.

I still ask you to mask in crowded situations like the trampoline park, and you grumble about it, but I can deal with your attitude. I’m also planning to ask you to mask at school the week or so before our spring break trip, because there’s no way I want to miss that. I think you’re excited enough about all the swimming and fun that you’ll handle it okay. What would be hardest on you is the isolation required after a Covid diagnosis. You crave human interaction so much, it would be very difficult for you. Artemis, who is a much more solitary person than you are, handled it just fine when they had Covid last March. I think you’d start bouncing off the walls of your room after about eighteen hours, though. Maybe that would be a good learning experience for you. You’ve been texting me a lot ever since you got your watch, and I feel like we’d end up doing a lot of FaceTime. That’s okay. I like your face.

Your current favorites: the Percy Jackson book series by Rick Riordan, online gaming with your friends, playing the video game Bloons with Callum, helping with cooking tasks, playing soccer both on your team and informally with friends, and being a fun and adventurous person.

I’m glad you’re having such a great start to your “senior in elementary school” year. We’ve started making some plans about going out to the soccer field for me to take pictures of you to commemorate this time. I’m not saying you’re forgettable, because you’re definitely not. I just want to always remember your smile, your spirit, and the little-boy sweetness you still have. You’re a treasure.

Love,

Mom

My dear Artemis,

It doesn’t help that I’m a week late in posting this, but I was surprised to see your first day of school pictures among my possible photos to include this month. It’s hard to believe that you’ve been a sophomore for less than a month, because you’ve slipped back into your routine without a struggle. Actually, that’s not completely true; waking up early for school is a minor struggle, and it’s only going to get strugglier once jazz band starts later in the fall. Nonetheless, even that issue isn’t too serious. You always make it to school on time, even if it sometimes requires a few jostles to get you out of bed. You’ve even been a reasonably enthusiastic participant in the post-Hawkeye game stadium cleanup the marching band does as a program fundraiser. That requires getting up very early on a Sunday morning and picking up the trash left the previous day by sports fans. It’s not something I expected you to do willingly, but I think you have fun hanging out with friends and eating the doughnut holes provided by the band teachers.

I enjoyed attending your back-to-school night a week or so ago. Your dad and I walked through your schedule, met your teachers, and got some insight into what a typical day is like for you. You’re taking several advanced classes this year, and your teachers indicate that many students find this is the time they have to start putting in some real effort. I have, more than once, seen you doing homework, so I guess you’re on the right track.

The time is coming soon to sign up for PSATs and AP tests. It’s funny to imagine that you are already taking tests that will affect your college admissions and credits, and it’s even funnier to think about how recently it feels like I was doing those same tasks. You haven’t yet expressed any particular area of study or university you hope to attend, but I hope as you continue to take a variety of classes you’ll discover what speaks to you the most. For now, you’ve chosen to take Honors English and French, as well as AP World History. It seems like the humanities are the areas that you enjoy the most, but you said you’re really enjoying biology this year. You also said it was because you have a lot of friends in that class, but I had a good impression of the course from what the teacher described. I think your school has a lot of good teachers and interesting classmates who will challenge you.

It can sometimes be difficult to pry you out of your room, but now and then you surprise me and want to be included in an adventure. We went to a Cedar Rapids Kernels game, and while it was not successful for the baseball players (“The Kernels got popped,” you quipped), we still had a nice night. It was a beautiful evening, and we ate a lot of snacks and saw fireworks. You also joined us on a trip to the swimming pool on a particularly hot Labor Day. I hear you were pretty daring on your several trips to the pool during Mubby-Skitter week, but I had never personally seen you jump off a high dive before. It was good to see you plunge in and even better to see you bob up. We always do a lot of swimming on our Florida Keys trips, but this is the first year Tobin has gotten really into going to the pool in town during the summer. It was nice to have you along for one final trip before the pool season ended.

You recently spearheaded an effort among your siblings to pool your money to replace a video game you lost at some point. Among the three of you, you got the money together and ordered Super Mario Brothers Odyssey. You’ve all been playing it a lot lately, and you encouraged me to give it a try too. I don’t think it’s even the most recent game in the Mario series, but it’s certainly worlds ahead of the Mario games I played as a kid.

It’s notable that the games you most enjoy range from the super visually realistic (such as the games you play on the Oculus VR headset) or stylistic (such as the meticulously-crafted Mario and Zelda games) to the very visually simple (Minecraft and online chess). I appreciate that you can see the value in both. There’s a place for simplicity and strategy along with enjoying the labor of many talented artists and programmers. It’s useful to be able to enjoy and understand multiple approaches to the world.

Your current favorites: Minecraft, Super Mario Odyssey, online chess, pasta, Knoppers, ice cream, walking to school with your friend Jacob, wearing sweatpants, and sleeping late. You don’t love marching band, but you like the fact that it’s going to count as a PE credit in school. That seems fair.

You’re funny and witty and have interesting things to say. You’re not really very sophomoric. One of my favorite things is when you linger over family cocktail hour and don’t run off to your room as soon as you finish your cream soda. You always have interesting thoughts and opinions to share. You are developing into a person I’m genuinely interested in knowing better, and not just because you were once my sweet baby.

You still my sweet baby, even if you’re way taller than me. One day you’ll admit it.

Love,

Mom

Happy birthday, dear Tobin!

We went out to dinner tonight, and even though you chose not to order from it, I noticed that the age limit for the kids’ menu was twelve. It’s a relief to know that, at least by that restaurant’s standards, you’re still a youth. You seem more grown-up every day to me, though you do sometimes show your little-boy self. Sixth grade has begun, and I’ll write more about that next month. It’s a time of big change and growth, and you’re doing great for the most part.

You’ve been busy-busy-busy this summer, with social activities multiple times a week. It seems like every day you’re out an about with your friends, riding bikes around the neighborhood, playing video games at someone’s house, or going to the swimming pool. You did a lot of good swimming this summer, and you chose the pool as the setting for your birthday party. You and a handful of your friends splashed in the chilly outdoor pool water, jumped off the diving board a hundred times, and then dried off for some time eating treats and hanging out. Over the last year or so, you’ve cultivated a good group of friends. You are still close with Kit, and you’ve gotten to be better friends with Jack, too. We’ve known Jack and his family for a long time, but it was only in the last school year that you two got to know each other well. He lives nearby, so you’ve trod the path between our houses many times.

Your friend group is a mostly nice, respectful, and kind bunch of kids. I thought you would be the only twelve-year-old in the world who requested a veggie platter at his birthday party (along side Double-Stuffed Oreos, chips, cake, and Gatorade), but the veggies actually went pretty fast.

In fact, you got to have two birthday cakes: one for your party with friends (Grammy’s chocolate cake) and one at home (pumpkin cake). You decided chocolate would probably be more of a crowd-pleaser, which is probably true, but it also made for a lot of cake-baking for me. That’s okay; I like baking cakes and celebrating you. You haven’t received it yet, but you’ll be getting an Apple Watch some time in the next couple of weeks. You’ve been begging for a phone, citing very reasonable examples of times when it would be useful for communicating with me. Your dad and I aren’t sure you’re ready for a phone yet, but an Apple Watch seemed like a good compromise. You’ll be able to text and call with it, so we can be in touch, and I can use it to track your location. As you are a person who is frequently on the move, having an idea of where you are will be good for my mental health. Hopefully something that’s strapped to your wrist will be hard to lose, too.

The week before your birthday, you spent a week at Mubby and Skitter’s house with your siblings. I think you inherited your on-the-move nature from Mubby, because she kept you kids hopping. Every day you were there, I think you did at least three activities. One day you went fishing in the morning, out for lunch, then to a movie, then to the swimming pool. I don’t know how Mubby has the energy to do so many things, but you especially thrived in such a stimulating environment. I know you guys played a lot of poker, too. I bet you also had a lot of cocktail hours and junky snacks. Mubby and Skitter also reported that you got along well with your siblings and were kind and well-mannered. The last time we heard a report like that, Artemis muttered that it was just because Mubby and Skitter can’t hear you very well. That may be the case, but I’m glad you can at least give the illusion of good behavior.

You tell me that your career goals include being a chef or an astronaut. You have been expanding your palette lately, trying new foods and preferring vegetables to apple slices in your sack lunch. You’ve reached a level of competence that when you help me make your favorite dinner, stir-fry, you’re legitimately helpful. You said you want to start helping make dinner more often, so I’ll have to take advantage of that. I have zero expertise in terms of space, though, so you’re on your own for astronaut training.

Your current favorites: playing online (especially Fortnite) and in-person with your friends, swimming, helping cook, wearing your soccer and baseball jerseys as shirts, laughing, hot Funyuns and Cheetos, being in the center of any action available, and sleeping in. You used to be an early riser, but these days you’ve been enjoying a late sleep. You usually request an 8:30 a.m. wake-up on non-school days, but as often as you actually get out of bed, you tell me that you’d rather sleep. I guess the teen years aren’t far off.

In the meantime, I’ll have to love you extra hard as a twelve-year-old.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

You’ve had a wild and adventurous summer. Last night, I was reading School Days According to Humphrey to you, and the students in the class were assigned to bring a summer box. That was a box full of things that represented what they did over the summer, and after we were done reading, I asked you what you would include in a summer box. You said a postcard from Niagara Falls, the ornament you made at the Corning Museum of Glass, the slime you made at camp in the park, and a playing card to represent all the poker you played at Mubby and Skitter Week.

This was your first time attending Mubby and Skitter Week. You planned to last year, but it ended up not working out because our air conditioning broke and your dad and I stayed there too. You were pretty annoyed about that, because you didn’t feel you could fully take advantage of grandparent (mostly grandmother) leniency with your dad and me present. This year, you were on board for the complete experience, and you definitely got it. Much of it occurred after your month birthday, so I’ll write more about that next month, but I know you had a great time. You are already excited to go again next summer. Rumor has it you improved your poker skills quite a bit, though you sometimes had to hide under the table when you knew you couldn’t maintain a poker face.

I’m a little nervous about sending you to school in the fall. It’s rapidly approaching, and you had only just begun your Humira treatment at the end of the last school year. It’s been helpful for easing your Crohn’s symptoms, but it’s also immunosuppressive on a systemic level. That means you’re more vulnerable to viral, bacterial, and fungal infections. Your older siblings have finally worn me down about not wearing masks at school, but on your doctor’s advice, you’re still going to. For the time being, you have a reasonable attitude about it. That may not last forever, but I’m glad that you don’t seem to hate it too much just now. It does mean we’re going to have to be more vigilant about protecting you from germs your siblings bring home.

Tobin’s always been the kid in the family most likely to catch a cold, which I attribute to his utter inability to keep his hands to himself. Since you share a room with him, that may mean that you get moved out of the bedroom temporarily if Tobin is sick. If he got something more serious, like Covid or influenza, he might get banished to the guest room so you could keep your room. He uses that room as an office anyway, so he’d probably be able to handle it, though he really does like being up on the same floor as everyone. Even though you two squabble, he really loves you and likes being your bunk bed buddy.

We already have our Florida Keys trip booked for the spring, and we’re staying at the same rental condo that we used last time. I’m sure you and Tobin will share a room again, since Artemis prefers the privacy of the small single room. You and Tobin had fun in the pirate ship room last time anyway, and you’re good roommates. As long as everyone stays healthy, we should be under control.

I’ve learned that immunosuppressed people such as you, including kids, are currently eligible to get an additional Covid booster two months or more after their previous shot. It seems like it might be useful for you to do that a couple of weeks before our trip. It’s hard to say whether that will still be an option seven months from now, with how fast everything changes on that front, but I hope so. What I would really like is for our whole family to get a bonus booster, but I’m not sure if that will fly. Maybe we can beg your doctors for a special prescription.

An important benefit of Humira is healing your intestines to the extent that they do a better job absorbing nutrition. Your height and weight had stalled out for a while, but you’ve made small but consistent gains at your last several appointments. That makes me happy to know. It’s a pretty dismal feeling as a parent to learn that the food I’ve been giving you hasn’t been doing its job to help you grow. You were also happy to learn that your GI doctor recommends red meat to help boost your hemoglobin. As a lover of ribeye steak, you gave a big thumbs-up to that advice. We’re (I’m) making casual plans for a big trip I hope to take in about three years, a European extravaganza. Your dad and I were talking about places in Italy we should go, and the first place I thought of was Florence, because of the enormous T-bone steaks for which they’re famous. I’m sure you’d love the pizza and pasta, too, but nothing makes you wash up for dinner faster than steak on the table.

Your current favorites: pancakes and waffles, not wearing a shirt, chicken wings, steak, the PBS show Word Girl (your dad is also excited about that, as it’s his favorite of the PBS lineup), dancing, doing elaborate fight choreography, building blanket forts in the bunk bed with Tobin, and being tender and cuddly. Even though I never get a good night’s sleep when I share a bed with you, I admit I don’t hate the idea of doing it more often. You’re a pretty sweet little pup.

Love,

Mom

Dear Artemis,

As I write this, we’ve just picked you up from Mubby and Skitter Week. You and your siblings stayed for a whole week at your grandparents’ house, and from the sound of it, you were extremely busy and had a lot of fun. That all technically occurred after your month birthday, so I’ll include photos from it next month, but I must say it was very strange not having any kids in the house. We weren’t sure if you’d want to go, being a mature high schooler and all, but you chose to. I’m really glad you did, partly because it’s good for you to get out of your room and do some different activities, and partly because I know Mubby and Skitter really appreciate the extra time with you.

After an overall lazy summer, these last few weeks before school starts have been extra busy. You had band camp a couple of weeks ago, which you claimed was torture, but you always seemed to be in a good mood at the end of the day. At your school, sophomores and up in the marching band take a more active and involved role than the freshmen, so this is your first year as a full-fledged member. The rest of the family got to attend a showcase of your band camp efforts, and the marching band sounds spectacular as ever. The music program at your school is truly impressive, and I’m very glad you’re a part of it. The band directors also highly prize creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere, and I think you’ve found it a comfortable place to be. As your dad pointed out, sometimes it seems like the band directors get a little overly excited about the more esoteric elements of their jobs. I got excited when I heard you start to play the Brubeck classic “Take Five,” and you played it well. However, at the showcase, you and your bandmates just stood in a semicircle and played. Things could get a lot trickier when you try to march and play a song in five-four time. Having never been a marching band member, I can’t say for sure that it will be a disaster. Nonetheless, I’ve been in enough dance environments where people are accustomed to counting to four or eight that throwing a five in the mix seems like it could mess people up. I’m intrigued to watch the halftime show this year, that’s for sure.

With band camp and Mubby and Skitter Week done, you have one more week of activities before the school year begins. Your longtime favorite camp, the FilmScene Animation Camp, runs a special class about building (and maybe filming) miniature sets. It’s your first time doing it, but the advanced animation camp conflicted with band camp, so you decided to give this one a try. You’re also taking a sculpture class in school next year, so I’m looking forward to seeing what you do in the 3D visual arts.

This is still a long way in the distance, but I recently figured out that you and your little brothers will all graduate from various levels of school at the same time. The year you graduate from high school, Tobin will finish junior high and Callum will finish elementary school. We’ve been throwing around the idea of a great Clarke-Crall Europe trip for some time, and that might be just the year to do it. You seem to be doing very well in your French studies, so hopefully after having finished four years of study, you’ll be competent to handle a France leg of the trip. I feel confident in Spain and passable in Italy, so between our skillsets, I think we could have a pretty good time.

I also think it would be a good learning and leadership opportunity for you to be in charge of some of the trip. Presumably after taking multiple years of French, you’ll have some insight into where would be good places to visit, and you can be part of the planning process. Once we’re there, you can handle our interactions with shopkeepers and waiters and hotel clerks. It sounds far off in the future, especially because it will mean you’re almost ready for college, but I know it won’t take long to arrive. Having a really great vacation to look forward to will help me not sob every day about you growing up and going off to college.

You say that people keep asking you where you want to go to college and what you want to study, but you don’t seem to have much of an answer just yet. Based on the electives you choose in school and the areas in which you excel, I would anticipate something in the humanities. You are taking Honors English, Honors French, and AP World History, as well as music and art classes, but you’re going the standard route in math and science. I feel like you would enjoy computer programming, because you enjoy video games that have a design component to them. You’ve made countless games using the Scratch programming language, and you were in a big Mario Maker phase for a while there. That’s a game that allows you to create different games in the various styles of the Super Mario Brothers universe. You were planning to take a computer programming class some time ago, but the teacher left and the school was unable to replace him.

I could get into the sorry situation our public schools are facing, but that frustration so far hasn’t touched you too directly (except possibly the elimination of the computer programming class). I hope you are still allowed to read whatever books your teachers think would be valuable for your personal edification, but just ones they are sure won’t be on a banned list. Several schools in our state, and not just small-town schools who fit book-burner stereotypes, are facing challenges from groups who want books banned. Our state elected officials have put teachers in the terrible position of policing their students’ names, pronouns, bathroom use, and book access. I hope you know that in our home, you can be whoever feels right to you and read whatever you find interesting. I ache for the kids who don’t feel comfortable in their own homes and hoped to find safe haven with an understanding teacher who will now be unable to provide the kind of support they need.

We have your back one hundred percent, always.

Your current favorites: playing chess, online and in real life; swimming; telling jokes and making witty rejoinders; bingeing TV series like Breaking Bad and Lost; mini-golf; pasta; French fries; poker; and not brushing your hair. I think you do wear deodorant, though. The band uniform room has a sign that says “Wear deodorant! Don’t be a stinky Little Hawk!” As far as I can sniff, you’ve followed that advice. It’s good for everyone.

Your hair is a little outrageous. But you know what? It’s your head, and while I can make suggestions that brushing it would be a good idea, in the end I have to trust you. You’ve proven yourself to be a thoughtful and interesting person, and I am honored to be part of your growing-up process. May your sophomore year be full of intriguing ideas, friendship, music, and good jokes.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

I am pleased to report that this month has been pretty darn fun. You started your Humira shots for Crohn’s Disease (more on that below), you finished out your baseball season, and we went on an epic road trip. You’ve been enjoying going to your “camp” a couple of mornings a week, which is a Parks & Rec-sponsored playgroup in the park right by our house. You, a teenage counselor two, and other neighborhood kids make crafts, play games, and chat. You weren’t shy about attending at all, even though it’s been two years since you did it. Our park was under construction last summer, so they didn’t hold the camp there, but you were ready to bounce right back as if no time had passed. You’re brave about meeting the counselors, even though they change frequently. You get along with the other kids. I’m so glad your return to pretty-much-normal life has gone so smoothly. I credit your wonderful second grade teacher, Ms. Hill, with guiding into socialization. I’m confident that the next school year will go well for you too.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves—we’re not done with summer yet. You made big gains in baseball this year, becoming a consistent hitter and a valuable member of the Diamondbacks. You also had a lot of fun hanging out after your games to watch Tobin play. More often, you hung out with your friends who also had big brothers playing. You also enjoyed quite a few concession stand snacks. You really enjoyed the pizza, popcorn, and Snickers bars.

Unfortunately, we had to miss tournament week in baseball, because our vacation eastward was set to begin. It was a family reunion for my cousins, their kids, and some aunts and uncles. You jumped right in and had fun getting to know some cousins you hadn’t spent much time with before, especially cousins Torin and Evan. I hope we can make another trip out to the Ithaca area, because there was so much to see and do. We saw many waterfalls, frolicked in a beautiful swimming hole, played games in Uncle Al and Aunt Barb’s amazing basement, and got a sense of Ithaca as a community. After we got done with the family time in Ithaca, we took a day trip to Corning to see the Corning Museum of Glass. Your favorite part of that day, besides the pizza and French fries from the museum café, was the glass-making activity. Under the guidance of an instructor, you designed and blew a glass holiday ornament. You and your siblings so enjoy the ritual of decorating the Christmas tree every year. I know it’s going to be extra special as you remember our trip to New York when you hang our ornament.

We had the ornaments shipped to our house, because they were too hot to take home the same day, and it didn’t work in our travel plans to stop by Corning again the following day. When they arrived, you were very pleased to see the beautiful blue and purple ornament you designed, but you were even more excited about the cornstarch-based packing peanuts included in the package.You took it upon yourself to design and create a packing peanut cube. I haven’t figured out what we’re going to do with that yet, but it might end up on the Christmas tree as well.

Toward the end of our trip, you decided you want to become ambidextrous. You spent a lot of our last night and much of the drive home writing “The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” with your left hand. It’s a good thing we got a bunch of free souvenir postcards with our admission to the Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls, because you used just about every bit of scrap paper we could find. You also made thorough use of the notepad that was in our hotel room in Erie, Pennsylvania. I hope the skill proves useful for you in some way. It was a long, hot drive home, because the air conditioning stopped working in the van we had borrowed, but you didn’t complain. I guess all that left-handed writing kept your mind occupied.

An important development for you this month was starting your Humira shots. You got your first one at the Children’s Hospital before we left. Your dad has volunteered to be the main shot-giver in the family, though I imagine I will need to learn to do it as well. The specialty pharmacist walked your dad through it the first time. He did a good job, but you were not so happy about it. The needle is small and the poke is shallow, just into the fat under your skin. However, you said the medicine felt like “burning hot needles” as it went into you. The first dose was eighty milligrams, and we were optimistic that the second dose would be easier, as it was only forty milligrams. Your dad did that one at home, and you agreed that it wasn’t very bad. The anticipation was a lot worse than the actual injection. Moving forward, your doses will only be twenty milligrams, so we hope that will be easier still. I don’t like seeing you scared and stressed, so I hope you’ll get more and more used to the shots and confident that they’re not very painful.

The doctors told us it could take eight to twelve weeks to see any improvement, but I feel like you might already be feeling results. One of your more troubling symptoms was sores in your mouth. We’d tried several strategies to address it, like cutting out citrus (a big bummer for a kid who loves orange slices, lemonade, and orange juice) and switching to a toothpaste with no sodium lauryl sulfate. Once we got the Crohn’s diagnosis and learned that mouth sores can be part of Crohn’s disease, we were hopeful that your mouth sores would improve too. Well, they already have. That’s made your teeth-brushing a lot easier, and you’re back to enjoying your favorite citrus foods and beverages. I told you we could go back to Crest Kids or whatever normal toothpaste you used to use, but you said you prefer the (more expensive) SLS-free kind. So it goes.

You’re the kind of person who wants a lot of advanced notice for things. We recently had a follow-up visit with your gastroenterologist, and she suggested getting you a pneumonia vaccine then and there. The Crohn’s medication make you immunosuppressed, so you are more susceptible to pneumonia. Also, the typical pneumonia vaccine contains a live virus, and you are no longer eligible for that type of vaccine. You were not okay with the idea of having a shot sprung on you, but your doctor was very understanding and said it was fine for you to get it at your next appointment with your pediatrician. That’s next month, so you’ll have some time to get used to the idea.

Your current favorites: watching fishing videos on YouTube, practicing Spanish and beginning Russian on DuoLingo, playing with friends and cousins, mini muffins, accumulating sticks, referring to your dad and me as “Denny” and “Aprille” when speaking to others (e.g., you asked your gastroenterologist, “Have you met Denny?”), singing and dancing, and going around shirtless. You’re having a ton of fun this summer, and I’m so glad your health is improving and you’re living a fantastic life.

Love,

Mom

My dear Artie-heartie,

You’re on your final dwindling weeks of lazy summer. In just a couple of weeks, the busy time will begin, with band camp, Mubby/Skitter week, and Miniatures Camp on the horizon. After that, you’ll barely have time to catch your breath before school starts in the end of August. Fortunately, you’ve been doing a lot of solid resting up to this point in the summer. I hope you’re thoroughly recharged.

We recently got home from our big family summer vacation, a road trip to Ithaca, New York. The primary purpose of the trip was to reunite with some of my extended family. That was lots of fun for me but slightly less so for you, as you’re not the most social of people. I think it was also hard because it was a big group of mostly strangers, and you felt awkward and uncomfortable with the cousins who were around your age. After a while you warmed up a bit, especially after getting acquainted with my aunt and uncle’s dogs. You were also a sweet caretaker to some of the littler kids. I understand that it’s hard to find common ground with people when you feel like an outsider. I’ve felt that way many, many times before. It’s also hard when you’re an introvert and have to spend so much of your energy trying to make conversation with strangers. I hope, as you grow, that you find ways to address those feelings of discomfort and power through them. I’m sure a lot of your cousins would have enjoyed getting to know you better.

You seemed to have fun in the parts of the trip that required less intense socialization. We visited a beautiful natural area called First Dam that had a couple of waterfalls and swimming hole. I wished we’d brought water shoes, because the bottom was pretty rocky. You were brave, though, and you made it all the way across to the far side and stood under the waterfall.

After we finished up the family togetherness in Ithaca, we took a couple of side trips to the Corning Museum of Glass and Niagara Falls. I think you had a lot of fun at those locations. The Corning Museum of Glass excursion was your dad’s idea, but we all ended up enjoying it. We saw a lot of interesting modern and ancient glasswork, and you especially liked a glass chess set you saw displayed. You and your siblings also did an ornament-making project, in which you designed and helped make a blown-glass holiday ornament. They were too hot to take home the same day, so we had them shipped to our house. They arrived a few days ago, and I was so impressed with how they turned out. They’re very beautiful, and I know we’ll enjoy getting them out to hang on the Christmas tree every year. They’re quite heavy and substantial, so we’ll have to be extra careful to hang them on a strong branch.

Niagara Falls was fun, and everyone really got a kick out of the ride on the Maid of the Mist. I didn’t get any pictures from the most dramatic moments, because we were getting sprayed way too much by the giant waterfalls to risk taking out my phone. We all had a good time, though the Canadian wildfire smoke was most noticeable there. From what I understand, it drifted to our home city in a really bad way while we were gone, and we were fortunate to be elsewhere.

The only bad part of the trip was that right around Niagara Falls, the air conditioning in Skitter’s van stopped working. We had been enjoying the spacious luxury of the van for most of the trip, and aside from a few periods of heavy rain, it was an easy drive to Ithaca. Those two hours between Niagara Falls and Erie, Pennsylvania, were pretty challenging. The sun was beating down on my through the windshield as we headed west into the sunset, and we didn’t want the windows open too much due to the poor air quality. Once we arrived in Erie, your dad did some calling around to see if anyone could fix it for us, but no one could get us in. Luckily, the rest of the drive featured more cloud cover and less smoke in the air, so it was easier to find moderate comfort. Also luckily, the fix for the air conditioning wasn’t too complicated or expensive. You and your siblings did remarkably well. I credit the extra space provided by the van. You didn’t bicker or squabble at all. We listened to audiobooks and made frequent stops for cold beverages and snacks, and we all survived.

Your current favorites: cream soda, pasta, Chex Mix, online chess, the TV show Lost (which I enjoy discussing with you, but you’re way ahead of me in the rewatch schedule), making and playing Scratch games, ice cream, stay up late and sleeping in late.

I hope you enjoy your last couple of weeks of relaxation before things start getting busy again. I like having you around, though I also acknowledge that it’s good for you to be out doing things. You are not exactly excited about the outdoorsiness and physical challenge that come with band camp, but I know you’ll be glad you did them (eventually, maybe many years in the future).

Love,

Mom

My dear Tobin,

It’s been a busy and fun month for you. First of all, you finally got to be part of the winning team in your school spelling bee. It’s the first time the bee has been held since pre-pandemic times. When you were in second grade, you received the assignment to write your goal for the year. Your goal was to win the spelling bee. Now, three years later, you and your teammate realized that dream. I was so happy and proud of you. It was tough to watch you, because you and Callum were competing at the same time in different rooms. I was dashing all over the school, trying to glimpse your moments of success and challenge. When you and your partner hear the announcement that you were the winners, your mask couldn’t disguise your excitement. It’s extra special to see your name on the official winners’ plaque. It’s sitting in our house right now, because it was your dad’s job as spelling bee chair to coordinate the engraving, but soon it will be on the wall at school for all to admire.

You have one more year in elementary school, so you’ll get to enjoy the glory as people pass by and see your name. The school system is restructuring a bit, changing to a sixth-seventh-eighth middle school model, but not until after you finish sixth grade in elementary school. It’s special that you’ll get to be part of the last class of sixth graders graduating from elementary school in our district. You’re also happy because you were part of putting a time capsule together that will be opened in 2024, and if you hadn’t been at the same school at that time, you would have missed it.

Your school year went very well. As usual, I have very few concerns about you. You did well academically both in your regular classroom and in ELP. You and your ELP classmates did a trimester-long project about making a business. In your case, it was a restaurant: Luftwaffé, the Waffle Café (my apologies if I spelled that wrong). You planned out all kinds of variables and strategies about how to make a success, and on the last day, you made waffles in class. Fortunately, you have ELP first thing in the morning at school, so I skipped feeding you breakfast that day and let you be a patron at your own restaurant. You got to bring toppings, and you admitted (bragged about) squirting canned whipped topping directly into your mouth.

You remain mostly a happy and fun kid, though you occasionally slip into a bout of moodiness that I guess is to be expected in the tween years. Your favorite thing to do in the world is spend time with your friends, whether you’re riding your bikes around the neighborhood, playing video games, playing sports, or sleeping over. You get the crabbiest when I won’t let you do the things you want to do. We had a miscommunication about a potential sleepover a couple of days before our vacation. It wasn’t great timing anyway because we were about to be stuck in a car and single hotel room together for the first chunk of the trip, and I require some health precautions like masking in common spaces and social distancing at meals after I let you do an unmasked social event like a sleepover. Callum is on immunosuppressant drugs, and we’re working hard to protect him not only from COVID, but from other illnesses and infections as well. So anyway, originally I thought the timing of the potential sleepover was impossible, but it turned out I misunderstood and it was merely inconvenient. Boy, were you mad at me when you found out it was happening at a time when you could have potentially attended.

You’re still a sweet guy, though. You want me around at your games and events, and you were very happy after school got out and I could stay till the end of your baseball games. During the school year, they went so late that I had to leave partway through in order to get Callum showered, fed, teeth brushed and into bed at a reasonable time. Once we got to start staying till the finish, you were always happy to see me in the crowd. You’re developing your skills as a pitcher. You’re still a beginner in that area, but you’re getting better, and you made your goal of striking out a batter. You do funny little celebration dances and chest thumps to acknowledge successes, nothing obnoxious or offensive, but noticeable to those of us watching you closely. It always makes me smile to see you expressing the joy that defines your personality.

Baseball season is over now. Another thing that irritated you was that you had to miss the championship tournament due to our vacation schedule. You knew about that prior to starting baseball, and asked you whether you’d find that so frustrating that you’d rather skip it and just do soccer in the spring. No, you insisted: you still wanted to do baseball. It made for a busy, busy spring, with you and Callum playing both soccer and baseball, but you truly love it. Next year might be a little different, because Callum will change leagues, and you’ll play your games at the same time rather than consecutively. That means you won’t have that extra hour and a half before your game starts to pal around with your friends, eat concession stand food, and play catch. Something tells me you might insist on going early to get some of that done.

Your current favorites: sports, playing with your friends, swimming, torturing me by telling me about dangerous things you did when I wasn’t looking, snacking, being a goofball, introducing Callum to your favorite childhood TV shows like Scooby Doo and Odd Squad, and playing online games with your friends. You used your own money to buy a microphone headset, which makes you look like a very fancy gamer indeed.

You’re full of strong feelings, my dear Tobin, and I’m glad that most of them come out as happiness and enthusiasm. Things are never dull if you’re in the vicinity, and you push my boundaries most days. I hope you look back on your kid years and know that I felt a constant struggle to balance letting you have wild adventures and keeping you safe. I appreciate the way you help me evaluate my motivations and look beyond my fears. You give me worry-wrinkles but a whole lot of laugh lines too. You’re worth every single one.

Love,

Mom

Dear Artemis,

Your ninth grade school year is now complete. You had an excellent year, with near-perfect grades, new activities, and a generally pleasant disposition. When I can get you to hang out longer than the time it takes to finish a cream soda at family cocktail hour, I always enjoy chatting with you. You have funny and interesting observations about the world, and you’re teaching me some French. You spend a lot of time holed up in your room, but you seem happy and interested in engaging with us when you do emerge. You recently finished up the driving portion of your Drivers’ Ed class and are making progress through the online portion. While you didn’t pass your instructor’s rigorous final exam, all that really means is that you’ll have to take it again at the DOT when you turn sixteen. That will give you a lot more time to practice. I think the main issue was that you got your permit very shortly before starting the class, and you just don’t have enough driving hours under your (seat)belt yet to feel confident and smooth behind the wheel. Your teacher told us that you made great progress during the class, and in fact the DOT test is easier than his. I was hoping you could avoid doing a driving test around your birthday in January, but that’s the way it goes.

This year’s marching band experience will be more intense than last year’s. They take it easier on freshmen, but sophomores and beyond attend the whole week. It’s a lot of intensive work, much of it outside in the August heat. You say you’re dreading it, and knowing your personal threshold for physical discomfort, that doesn’t surprise me. However, during your last band concert, each senior got to contribute his or her favorite memory from the band years. Many students cited marching band camp memories, so I hope you find the same kind of positivity in it that those kids did. Sometimes great friendships can be forged in challenging times. I think you already know and get along with a lot of band kids, but going through the band experience with them may solidify your bonds.

You’ll definitely need to be fitted for a new band uniform. You’ve grown a lot this year. It wasn’t super evident to me in your first and last day of school photos, but you got invited to go swimming with a friend yesterday with about twenty minutes’ notice, and last year’s swimsuit didn’t fit. You ended up wearing a pair my cover-up swim shorts, which looked slightly goofy, but fit you better than your old suit. I’m glad we noticed that now, because we’ve got a trip coming up that will require swimsuits. This way I had time to order a couple of new pairs in bigger sizes. I’m not sure what your official height is these days. You have an appointment coming up with the orthopedist to check on your scoliosis, and I imagine we’ll see then. I am hopeful that your curve has held steady throughout this period of growth. You are probably close to reaching your full height, by which time we’ll be out of the danger zone for curve change. As long as it’s not significantly worse, you can avoid surgery and maybe even stop wearing your brace or reduce your bracing hours.

I’m very proud of you for wearing your brace as well as you have. It can’t be comfortable, but you don’t ever complain. It’s probably getting too small, too. Maybe you’ll get a new one fitted at your next appointment. Your dad says he had two braces over his bracing period, although that was a long time ago, and his case ended up in surgery. His was a lot more severe than yours, so I’m optimistic that your great bracing habits and the improvements in bracing technology in the past few decades will set you on a straight-spined path.

You went back to your former elementary school to be a judge for the spelling bee. This is the first time since 2020 that the spelling bee has occurred. It was probably a bit strange for you to be sitting on the other side of the judges’ table, but you did a great job. You had the privilege of awarding a victory to Callum’s team. Over in the media center, Tobin’s team also won. It will be very exciting to see our family so prominently displayed on the winners’ plaque. I was really happy that you agreed to be a judge, since it’s an event that was so important to you during your elementary school years. You were fair and accurate, and I hope you come back and do it again next year.

Your current favorites: playing Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, cream soda, late night snacks of Goldfish and Honey Nut Cheerios, sleeping in late, avoiding showers until I pester you into taking one, online chess, pasta, driving me around to do errands, the TV shows Lost, Breaking Bad, and The Simpsons, and changing your socks more often than I expect a person to change socks. I do a lot of sock laundry.

But that’s okay. I’m just glad you’re usually wearing fresh clothes.

Love,

Mom

My sweet Tobin,

You are busy, busy, busy, and you love it. Just about every afternoon and evening in your schedule is booked, you’re playing with friends after school, practicing and playing in soccer and baseball games, playing in your school band concert, and going to sleepovers on weekend. Sometimes it’s challenging raising a child whose threshold for being busy is so much higher than mine, and it’s definitely a challenge to keep up with your life. Your dad and I split the duties, and I know you’d like it if I could attend every single one of your events, but sometimes it’s impossible. I need to get your siblings to their classes and practices too, and your baseball games go too late for Callum on school nights. One might argue that they go too late for you on school nights too, but I don’t think you’d ever leave before the final inning. We’re nearing the end of the school year now, and I’ve promised you that I’ll stay till the end of your baseball games once the need to get Callum home to bed is less pressing.

You’re happiest when you’re running, jumping, swinging a bat or kicking a ball. Even around the house, you’re always moving, pacing, and wiggling. You had your school track and field day recently, and you and your friends had a blast doing all the events. Your team even won the 4×100 relay. It was thanks largely to a super-speedy anchor, but he couldn’t have pulled it off if his teammates hadn’t pushed him ahead. You finished the day happy, sweaty, and tired. You were also happy that I came. I was chatting with your friend’s mom at baseball the next day, and she said her son didn’t want her to come. I felt glad that you appreciate my presence at stuff like that, because I love going. I have been really grateful lately for the flexibility of schedule I have. Being present for the special moments in your and your siblings’ lives is so important to me, so it’s nice that you always make me feel welcome.

In non-athletic news, your school year seems to be wrapping up well. We spent a lot of the month preparing for the school spelling bee. I’ll write more about that next month, because it technically occurred after your month birthday. I try to limit the content of these letters to the events of the month, but last week was so busy I’m only now getting a chance to write it. Nevertheless, it was a lot of work to prepare for the spelling bee. Fifth and sixth graders are given a list of words generally intended for seventh and eighth graders, to push you beyond your usual level. We spent a lot of time practicing those words, and it was sometimes pretty frustrating. You had particular trouble with the words precipe, defendant, and fluorescent. We worked hard, though. Watch this space for the exciting conclusion to the spelling bee saga.

You’re still a good helper in the kitchen. You just helped with your favorite, beef and snow peas stir-fry, and you also got a kick out of scraping frozen margarita mix out of containers for your dad and me. You say you want to be a bartender someday like your great-Grandad, and I know you’d be great at it. Like him, you’re good at chatting people up and being charming. I’m sure you’d get a lot of tips.

You were a good sport about participating in the Family Folk Machine concert, but I fear your role in that group may not last long. For you, musical performances is more about spending time with friends and less about the satisfaction of making music per se. You seem to enjoy school band, but that’s more because your friends Ben and Elizabeth both also play saxophone so you get to hang out with them at rehearsals and concerts. Family Folk Machine is fun when your (other) friend Ben is available to play, but he’s also part of the FFM band, so he gets busy with his role doing that toward the end of the session. That leaves you without many peers, since most of the FFM kids skew younger. You’re a good support to Callum, but he’s getting big enough now that he can probably handle it on his own. It will be interesting to see what kind of involvement you choose to having moving forward.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Your current favorites: granola bars, pizza, playing with friends, being goofy, watching Scooby Doo with Callum, playing Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom on the Switch, and cuddling up in bed with Callum and me for bedtime reading of the Humphrey series. You started doing that a while ago, and it’s become a tradition. Sometimes you and Callum jockey for space in bed, which in turn shoves me around, but I like having you there. In fact, you and Callum agreed that we’d skip Humphrey tonight, because you’re at a friend’s house for a sleepover, and we wouldn’t want you to miss out.

You’re a joy, a bright light, and a resilient kid. Though your life is not without its trials and disappointments, I can always count on you to bounce back quickly and find something to smile about. You are something to smile about, every single day.

Love,

Mom

Dear Tobin,

Springtime is here, and you’re loving it. You’ve been busy with sports most nights, and any out-of-school time you’re not at a game or practice, you’re probably out playing with your friends. Over this school year, you’ve expanded your existing friend group into a nice neighborhood cohort. You often walk home with friends and play after school at someone’s house, or a group of you will bike around. You’ve been lobbying hard to get a phone, and while I don’t love that idea for certain reasons, I also would appreciate the ability to get touch with you or track your location. You’re usually pretty good about checking in at the prescribed time, but the more mobile you get, the more useful it would be to have strong communication channels.

While you’re definitely getting more independent, you’re still sweet. You don’t feel quite right if we don’t do our nightly ritual of an extensive goodnight back-and-forth. You’re appreciative of your advantages and opportunities. We’ve had the chance to attend some theatrical and cultural events lately, and you love doing that sort of thing. Mubby got us the generous gift of tickets to The Lion King, and we had a lot of fun seeing that a couple of weeks ago. We’ve also gone to Artemis’s jazz band showcase and the high school production of Mamma Mia. You’re always eager and excited for experiences like those, even if you have a hard time sitting still.

You are definitely a wiggler. You’re still the kid in our family who is least likely to spend an entire meal seated. You’re high energy and always ready to jump up and do the next thing. After one of the “lab rat” jobs that you do for a little extra cash and to support university research, the researcher indicated that you might have ADHD. While that does track to some extent, at this time I don’t have any interest in seeking a formal diagnosis or treatment. Yes, you’re energetic and have a hard time sitting still, but I don’t feel any need to pathologize those qualities, because they’re not negatively affecting your life. You’re doing great academically, have lots of friends and interests, and don’t seem to be struggling in any major area of life. Your wiggly self is doing just fine. The challenge will be finding a career or other life path that capitalizes on your strengths, rather than forcing you to sit in a cubicle all day. You would almost certainly wear out the spinning function of a desk chair if you had to sit in one all the time.

You attended a sleepover birthday party at a friend’s house last weekend. It’s the first time we’ve let you do an indoor, unmasked group situation since COVID. It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but you agreed to mask around the house for a few days afterward. You had a blast, were a good sport about masking, and had a negative test a few days later. I know I’m going to need to relax about all this eventually, because I don’t want my own anxieties to create undue limitations on your social life and development. You’re at the age where social relationships are becoming more and more important (including the handful of girls from your grade who keep turning up when you hang out with your friends). I guess at some point I’ll have to concede and accept that we’re going to get COVID. Most people do just fine with it, especially kids, but since it hasn’t hit 4/5 of our family yet, I’m still clinging to the strategies that have worked so far. I hope vaccines continue to improve, because with the federal state of emergency ending, we’re getting less and less data.

I’m someone who wants all the data all the time, and it stresses me out not to have access to daily or weekly local case numbers. Right now my best sources are states that are still reporting (which are most non-Iowa states). I keep an eye on key metro areas: New York, Chicago, St. Louis, and the Quad Cities. That, plus hospital admissions rates, gives me a sense of general trends. At the moment, things don’t look too bad. That plus all the outdoor recreation opportunities summer brings will hopefully give us some good times ahead.

Your elementary band concert is coming up next week. I haven’t heard you play your saxophone much; music doesn’t seem to stir you in a particularly deep way. How I gave birth to such a jock continues to bemuse me, but I appreciate that you continue with saxophone and Family Folk Machine. You’ve taken a break from your bass lessons for the time being due to being so busy with other activities. Music may not be part of your long-term plan, but I’m glad you have some background in it and can know the joy that comes with group musical expression. Maybe it’s the same kind of feeling that you get from group sports. It’s okay if we don’t always like the same things, but I’m glad you’ve given a variety of areas a fair chance. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep you involved in Family Folk Machine, as it’s getting harder and harder to get you there. I see that with a lot of other parents in the group. They join with their kids, and the kids end up pursuing other activities while the parents stick around. You mostly are in it for the social elements. Your good friend Ben is usually around, but he plays fiddle with the band. As we draw closer to the concert, he’s busier doing that and can spend less time goofing around with you.

Fortunately, you have many other friends and many other opportunities to goof around. You want to be wherever there’s action and adventure. That can be exhausting for those of us who try to keep up with you, but I love seeing you thrive.

Photo by Gary Clarke

Your current favorites: helping to cook, riding bikes around the neighborhood with your friends, soccer, baseball, spicy chips, watching shows at night with your dad, onion rings, and trying new foods. You’ve gotten excited lately about the Spicy Korean Beef Noodles from Noodles & Company and the Beijing Beef from Panda Express. You’ve always been a fan of Asian (and Asian-inspired) foods, and it’s fun to see you branch out.

You even like soft-sculpture pizza.

Have a good month, my funny pup. I love you so much. Wear sunscreen, please.

Love,

Mom

Dear Callum,

This has been a month of manageable-but-annoying health challenges for you. For quite a while now, you’ve been complaining of pain in your gums when your dad brushes your teeth. You also fairly frequently have a swollen lymph node on that side of your neck. It ebbs and flows, sometimes better and sometimes worse. I took you to the dentist to see if it was a problem with a tooth, and she assured us that it wasn’t a tooth issue. She did notice a white patch on your gum, so that’s probably the culprit. However, she didn’t offer any advice on how to fix it. We’ve tried a few strategies around here, such as switching to a sodium lauryl sulfate-free toothpaste and cutting citrus out of your diet. So far we haven’t found a clear trigger or solution. We have an appointment with your pediatrician on Monday, so hopefully she’ll be able to offer some advice.

Another issue that came up around spring break time was a sore throat. I took you to Urgent Care, where they performed a throat culture and determined that you didn’t have strep. The doctor noted that your throat and tonsils were swollen, though, and all your lymph nodes were enlarged. I asked about the mouth thing, but that kind of got buried under the more pressing issues. You also were having some digestive distress, and we already had an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss that. We got to do the fun activities of taking a stool sample and getting blood drawn, and the lab determined that you don’t have any of the inflammatory markers that would point to Celiac disease or other autoimmune conditions. Everything in your blood work was normal except that your hemoglobin was a bit low. That’s often an indication of low iron. Your doctor was a little puzzled by that, because the other things she would expect to see in an anemic patient weren’t true for you. In any case, we’ve added a multivitamin with iron to your breakfast routine. I also read that iron deficiencies can cause mouth sores. That’s not a slam-dunk answer, but maybe boosting your iron will help your other issues.

Your spring allergies have not yet come on at their full strength, though I know it’s coming any time. We’ve been bracing ourselves and starting you on daily Zyrtec and nightly baths. Your poor little body has so much to manage, I really hope you aren’t too miserable this spring. Last year we mostly kept it under control by keeping you indoors as much as possible, but that doesn’t seem reasonable to do this year. You love school and playing with your friends, and I’m afraid it would be detrimental to force you to stay inside for recess.

We have eyedrops that help a lot, so when things get bad, we’ll start using those every morning before school. We’re really only supposed to use them once a day, but one time you had a terrible attack after already having received a morning dose, and our friend who’s an allergist said we could repeat the dose. My plan is to let your teacher know that we’ll dose you before school, and if you get so uncomfortable that it’s inhibiting your learning or you’re truly miserable, the office can call me and I’ll come give an emergency dose. It’s very helpful now that you’re more receptive to eyedrops, because when you were smaller, I could barely pry your eyelids open to get them into you against your will. Now that you’re better able to handle them, at least we have the “big guns” for the worst moments.

Baseball has started now, and you’re a proud member of the Diamondbacks. You and your dad have been playing more backyard baseball this year, and I understand that you’ve made big strides in your skills. You have the same coach as last year, and he was accustomed to the very beginner-level game you were playing last season. Your dad told me that at practice the other night, your coach noticed the hits you were getting off the pitching machine, and he said, “Callum came to play this year.” I think you were pretty proud of that.

Soccer starts in another week or so, and you’ll be a beginner there. It will be your first time on a soccer team, but watching Tobin’s games last year got you interested. Our family’s schedule is going to be very busy, with you and Tobin playing both soccer and baseball at the same time. Here’s to hoping for a good-weather spring, because I’ve seen a lot of pictures of soccer parents shivering on the sidelines, and I’ve certainly been one of the baseball parents shivering or roasting in the bleachers.

School is continuing to go great for you. You’re wrapping up your second grade year with lots of friends and excellent academics. Your goal is to never get under one hundred percent on a spelling test, and you’re on track to accomplish it. The spelling bee is coming up next month, so we’ll have to put more focus on preparing that list rather than your classroom spelling words, but you’ve always done great on those with minimal home quizzing anyway.

Your current favorites: ice cream cones, baseball, riding your bike, the Humphrey books by Betty G. Birney, talking to your friends at lunch (and not eating much of your lunch), making and playing Scratch programming games with Artemis, playing Switch, and learning Spanish on Duolingo. You’re on a practice streak of 101 days now, and I love it when you try out Spanish phrases on me. You don’t usually understand when I reply to you in Spanish, but at least you’re getting started. You definitely have “Gracias, mi amor” down pat.

Have a good month, my little sweetheart. I hope all your troubles heal up so we can enjoy the lovely springtime.

Love,

Mom

3/10/23

Dear Artie,

This month marked a notable milestone in our family life: our first (known) COVID infection. A couple of Mondays ago, your dad and I both noticed that you seemed extra lethargic. I chalked it up to the usual Monday blahs that can follow staying up too late on Sunday night, but you were still low-energy and had a low appetite on Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday, you had a stuffy nose in the morning, so I had you do a PCR test before I sent you off to school. I was expecting it to come back negative, because you really didn’t seem very sick. However, Mubby and Skitter were planning visit the next day for your band concert and some other family events, so I wanted to be on the safe side.

While we waited for the results to come back, your dad and I went to your school to see the art show. You had two pieces on display that you made in your graphic design class. You’ve really enjoyed that class, and you signed up for advanced graphic design next year. We got to chat with you and your art teacher for a bit at the art show, after which time you took off to participate in a protest against proposed (and now passed) legislation that will undoubtedly be hurtful to LGBTQ+ people in our state. You had my full support to protest, and I was proud when I saw you in some media coverage for the event.

Around 2:00 that afternoon, as you were exercising your rights, your test results came back: positive. I was startled but not truly shocked, as we knew it was probably going to happen at some point. Our fall booster shots have probably waned in effectiveness by now, and though you do mask at school, it’s impossible to mask all the time, especially considering your involvement in band. The fact that you weren’t very sick also eased my mind, at least for you. I was also relieved that we caught your status before Mubby and Skitter came, because they’re at higher risk for serious complications. I was worried for your dad and me, since I know quite a few folks our age who’ve had a rough time with it. Teens and kids usually breeze through it, but especially with your dad’s asthma, I didn’t want to take chances. We all masked in common areas of the house, ran our Corsi-Rosenthal fan filter all the time, and kept the windows cracked for airflow. You retired to your room and stayed there for days, except for brief trips to the bathroom and to accept the tray of food I left in front of your door.

Of course, we had all been hanging out together unmasked during the early days before we knew you had COVID, so we knew our efforts didn’t guarantee success. So far, though, we’ve all tested negative. We’ll probably do one more round of PCR tests next week, mostly because our tests are expiring, but also because it would be nice to have final confirmation that we escaped (for now).

Now, though, we’re considering you no longer infectious, since you’ve had two negative rapid antigen tests. We’ve certainly plowed through our stash of tests. I’m working on replenishing our supply before insurance stops paying for them in May. I also understand that the Test Iowa free PCR testing program is going to end at some point, possibly in December. That will be a bummer, as we’ve relied on that service for accurate and painless tests throughout this whole pandemic.

In any case, it’s wonderful to have you back with the family. I missed you so much that I had to FaceTime with you once during your quarantine. Even though I knew you were right across the hall, it just wasn’t right not to have you at the dinner table. It did give us good evidence that our strategies were effective, though. It helped that you’re a naturally hermity person. It would/will be a lot harder to contain an infection if Tobin or Callum brings it home, since they’re both a lot more inclined to social interaction. I’m glad to be done with it for the time being, though. You said you never even felt bad after the first few days, and even then it wasn’t too much. You said it wasn’t even as unpleasant as a bad cold. I hope that’s the case if and when others in the family get it

Unfortunately, due to your quarantine, you had to miss both your school band concert and a jazz band trip to a music festival in Davenport. Another jazz band trip to Cedar Falls got cancelled earlier in the winter due to a blizzard. All in all, you’ve had fewer musical opportunities than we’d hoped. Still, you did well in your classes this trimester. You got all As and a couple of A+s, along with one B+ borne of failing to turn in a couple of assignments. We’ve talked about how an earned B+ is fine, if you’re doing your best, but just slacking off and not doing the work isn’t cool. I don’t like to nag you about school work, but I want you to build productive study habits and not coast on smarts. Intelligence is valuable, but getting the work done is just as important.

Your current favorites: discussing the show Breaking Bad with me, which you watched a long time ago but I’m just starting; playing Zelda, Breath of the Wild; pasta; cream soda; playing with Callum; bantering with Tobin; and hanging out in your room. You were truly the ideal quarantine patient, never complaining. Sometimes when you weren’t with us at the dinner table, I imagined that you’d gone to college, but that made me even sadder so I stopped going it. I’m so glad you’re back with us now. I really missed you.

The music department at your school leads a trip to Great Britain every spring break, and I could see you wanting to do that at some point down the road (even sooner than college). I’m girding my loins already. I am glad you are learning and growing, but I sure am fond of you. You’ll always have a spot at my table.

Love,

Mom