My dear Tobin,

This is coming a bit late, because we’ve been very busy with all kinds of different things these days.  One activity that has taken up a lot of our time is taekwondo.  You have loved it so far, and even though you’ve only been a student for a few weeks, you really, really wanted to test for your yellow belt when a testing opportunity recently arose.  I discouraged you, because once you’re a yellow belt you are supposed to move to the advanced class (which is all the non-white belts together), and that seemed a little intense for someone with your amount of experience.  I’m sure future testing opportunities will arise, and you’ll do great.  You probably could have passed the test this time, there’s no rush.  You did earn a yellow stripe on your belt for knowing your first form though I’m not convinced you always turn the right direction.  It’s hard for me to focus on the details of your taekwondo work because I usually take Callum into another room so he doesn’t disturb your class.  Still, you did a good job practicing at home.  You’ve also been working on learning the tenets of taekwondo and counting in Korean.

One of the tenets is “indomitable spirit,” and you’ve really taken to that one.  I think it’s partly because you like the word indomitable.  Last night you asked me to help you write a song—we have an open mic party for our choir coming up, and you want to do an original composition.  So far it goes:

Sometimes things are hard.
We don’t always win.
But you can’t give up
Because…because….you are…
INDOMITABLE.

It’s very cute, and you like playing the piano part along with it.  Your piano work has been going well, and you’re excited to play in your first recital next month.  Your teacher tells me you plan to sing along as you play, so we’ll see how that goes.  I could see you backing out on that element at the last minute, but who knows?

First grade is going well for you.  Your teacher tells us she enjoys your sense of humor.  You seem to be getting along with your classmates and forging some good friendships.  Your teacher does assign homework, but she doesn’t require that you turn it in, so it’s nice to be able to do it at our family’s own pace.  Some nights are so busy that you barely have time for any relaxation or play time, both of which I think are important.  I don’t want you to sacrifice those just to do a math worksheet.  Another important part of your daily routine is when your dad reads to you and Miles at night.  At your request/demand, you’ve gotten through a good number of books in the Harry Potter series.  I believe you just finished The Half-Blood Prince, which means the final book is up next.  It’s a long one, so you may or may not finish before our Universal trip in January.  In any case, you’ve seen all the movies, so I’m not worried about you being insufficiently Harry Pottered before we get there.

If you don’t recognize yourself in the picture above, it’s because you asked me to straighten your hair.  I did it with a flat-iron, and you liked it, but you were still happy when your curls bounced back.  I think you look about thirteen in this picture (though I hope you’re still rocking the boingy curls when you’re actually thirteen).

I am proud that you’re always willing to try new things, even (sometimes) food.  You set a goal of planning and preparing dinner for the family one night, and you served us tortillas, cream cheese, lettuce, rice, and pineapple.  I may have sneaked a few other food items onto the table to balance the meal a bit, but you did most of the work, including cutting vegetables and setting the table.  You can be a bit myopic when it comes to things Miles receives and does; you can’t understand why he got a trombone and you didn’t.  Surely on an intellectual level you understand that he’s a fifth grader, the official starting-of-band year in our school system, and that you can also play an instrument when you reach that age.  You also conveniently forget that you got a taekwondo uniform and he didn’t.  It can be a struggle sometimes, but I like to encourage you to take on responsibility, such as your dinner experiment, when it’s reasonable.

Not all your attempts yield equal levels of success, but you’re good at a lot of things and you have a good general attitude.  During the first couple of weeks of school, your dad and I were feeling concerned because your usually-sunny disposition seemed to have dimmed.  You were displaying more negative attitudes and behaviors, which was out of character for your usually pleasant and resilient self.  Maybe you were just in a period of adjustment, because I feel like things are going better now.  You take good care of Callum now that he’s sleeping in the bunk bed with you, and I can usually trust you to make good choices.  You are not so good at putting your dirty clothes in the hamper, but it took me a good thirty years to get the hang of that, so I won’t judge.

You’re doing great, and I know you’ll continue to do so, because…because…you are…

Indomitable (also cute).

Love,

Mommy