Dear Tobin,

As you are a kid who enjoys a lot of action and activity, it’s not surprising that you’ve been relishing the scramble that is the end of the school year. Your teacher has lots of fun activities planned, and every day you’re excited to see what the next one will be. Even though a whole lot of things make me nervous about sending you to school, from Covid to far worse, I’m pretty sure it was the right choice for you. Your friendship circle has grown, you’ve loved the recess soccer games and classroom activities, and you’ve learned a lot.

Your most recent academic challenge was learning the positions of all the states in the U.S. You worked hard on it, employed a lot of interesting learning tricks (I’m not sure why I never noticed that Louisiana looks like the letter L), and got 100% on your test. You know a lot of U.S. geography now, which isn’t helping your indecisiveness about what to do for your eleventh birthday trip. You’ve considered a return to the Colorado mountains, a trip to a nearby city where you could see an NBA game, and camper-based adventure to somewhere around the Great Lakes. If we need to think about renting something, whether a condo or a camper, we need to be getting that done if it’s really going to happen in August. You get excited about every possibility, which is fun for the dreaming stage, but not so useful for the tactical stage.

On a more local level, you’re looking forward to building a summer activity list. The first item on your list is a meal from HuHot, which has been a first-day-of-summer-break tradition for us for a long time. I’m not comfortable eating indoors yet, but HuHot offers a to-go option. There’s a nice park nearby, so I think we’ll give that setup a try. All three of you kids have had excellent school years, and it would be fun to go back to an old favorite in a modified way.

Speaking of modified old favorites, it was a pleasure to be back to a semi-normal Family Folk Machine season. You sang, participated in a shadow-puppet show, guided Callum around, and played bass on the song “Will It Go ‘Round in Circles.” Your bass teacher, who is a friend of Family Folk Machine and frequent band member, helped you prepare, and you did great. One thing I love so much about Family Folk Machine is the leadership’s willingness to include and support members’ varied abilities and interests. Since you haven’t had a bass recital, and I’m not sure you will given the instrument’s inclination toward structure and rhythm over melody, it’s a great way to show off your accomplishments. Plus, the Family Folk Machine band features some very accomplished musicians. It’s nice for you to find a place among people who show you what lifelong musicianship can be.

You recently completed the second phase of a four-year experiment. It’s called Growing Words, and it’s a university study that is tracking the language and reading development of kids. You don’t seem to mind the sessions, even the part where they put your head in a contraption that monitors your eye movements as you read. It’s painless, and they always give you a little toy at the end. That’s better than the dentist, because there’s no painlessness guarantee for that. We also make time for a frozen yogurt stop downtown. During the last session, one of the researchers approached me a little gingerly and said, “Have you ever had Tobin tested for…” I thought she was going to say ADHD or something, since you do tend to be wiggly. Part of the study involves me filling out forms about your behavior, and I was honest about the fact that it’s hard for you to get through a family dinner without jumping out of your chair. However, because you are very successful academically and socially, I have no interest in seeking any kind of medication for you. I’m willing to accept your wiggliness as a pretty harmless part of your personality.

Anyway, the researcher finished her sentence with the words “color blindness.” I felt a great surge of relief and said, “Oh, yeah, he’s color blind for sure.” While we’ve never had you medically tested, your inability to spot cardinals perched in our green bushes is pretty strong evidence. Apparently one section of the test involved color identification, but she assured me it was only a small part of the study and didn’t disqualify you. That’s good, because you get paid a pretty generous amount. At the moment, I’m not sure what you’re saving up to buy. For a while, you and your siblings were hoping to use your pooled savings for a VR headset, but I haven’t heard you express much interest in that for a while. Our friend who has one says his kids used it a lot when they first got it, but usage has dropped steeply since then. I could see that happening in our family, too, so maybe it’s a good thing that you seem to have mostly lost interest.

Everything is more fun with you around, Tobin. It’s been interesting to watch you step into a more active big brother mode with Callum, and I expect that will continue to grow next year. You’ll be in the same school for the first time in a long time, barring further Covid trouble, and I know you’ll do a good job walking home with him and being a good buddy to him if you see him in the halls. Your smiling face will be a wonderful welcome for him as he adjusts to a new environment.

I mean, really—who wouldn’t want to look at this?

Your current favorites: audiobooks, watching NBA basketball with your dad, shooting hoops at the park with your dad, playing LaundryBall (basement basketball into a laundry basket) with anyone who will join you, playing baseball, buying treats from the baseball field concession stand, cookies and milk, helping me make stir-fry, arguing your position on the source of our Sunday-night takeout meal, Orange Crush at cocktail hour, making plans, and living life with enthusiasm.

You’re a joy in so many ways, Tobes. Thanks for bringing so much sparkle to our family and our world. I love you.

Love,

Mom