Dear Tobin,

We’re entering into the last month of summer and your last month as an eleven-year-old. You’ve spent most of the summer with friends, whether playing basketball and soccer outside, jumping on trampolines, going to the swimming pool, playing video games, or attending sleepovers. You going to sleepovers isn’t my favorite thing in the world, partly because I miss you and partly because of health anxiety. COVID isn’t over, and especially with Callum’s newly immunosuppressed status, colds and flu are just as big a problem. However, you are someone who could probably never be happy without lots of socializing, so I’ve been trying to calm down and let you do some unmasked hanging out. We got an air purifier for the room you and Callum share, and the plan is to have the two of you sleep in separate rooms if either of you is at all ill. It’s not easy for me, but I want you to have a fun and fulfilling life. We all have to bend sometimes.

It won’t be long before you start sixth grade. In fact, the back-to-school ice cream social is on your birthday, and the first day of school is just two days after that. It might not be as exciting as previous years, since you’ve been seeing your friends just about every day this summer anyway. Our school system is changing the year after next; it has been organized with students in kindergarten through sixth grade in the elementary schools and seventh and eighth graders in junior high. They’ll be moving to a middle school model with sixth grade in the junior high building, but not until after you’ve completed your sixth grade year. You’re pretty happy about that, and I’m glad for you too. You’ve gotten such a good friend group established over the last couple of years, you’ll surely relish being the top dogs in the elementary school. Plus, as you pointed out, you won’t have to be the youngest kids in the school next year. I’m sure it will be good times.

You’ve earned some money this summer doing science experiments. The picture above came from an experiment in the department of audiology. The researcher connected electrodes to your scalp (just with gel, no needles) and you heard a series of sounds through headphones. The electrodes communicated your brain activity to a computer that did some kind of analysis. The goal of the experiment was to learn about how people of different ages differentiate between similar sounds (e.g., p and b), with the long-term goal of making better hearing aids and cochlear implants. It’s a pretty well-paying gig for a kid, and you have told me that you want to do any other research opportunity that comes along. I just replied to another one today, so we’ll see how that pans out. You love accumulating money, though you haven’t decided yet what you’re saving up to buy. You mentioned something about a new gaming console, but I could see you changing your mind about the specifics between now and the time you earn enough money for it.

Our family vacation was a big deal. We don’t often make a major trip in the summer, as we usually save our money and energy for our Florida Keys trips every other spring. This year, though, we were invited to a family reunion in Ithaca, New York. You had a lot of fun getting to know cousins you hadn’t spent much time with before. It was a very outdoorsy trip, featuring lots of waterfalls and fresh-air time (actually kind of smokey-air, due to the Canadian wildfires). We also took side trips to the Corning Museum of Glass, where you got to design and help make a glass ornament, and to Niagara Falls. You kids all seemed to really enjoy the Maid of the Mist ride. I didn’t get any great pictures of the falls proper, because when we were very close to them on the boat, it was much too misty to take out my phone. We didn’t get too went thanks to the ponchos, and it was a lot of fun.

The ride home was a bit challenging due to a malfunctioning air conditioner in the van, but you kids all behaved very well and responded positively to frequent stops for slushies and stretches. We made it safely home, and you were ready to jump back into your regular summer friend hangouts almost immediately.

Another cousin-centric part of your summer was time with your Tennessee-based cousins. They don’t get up to Iowa much. We usually see them either by going to Tennessee or meeting in Missouri, but this time they made the trip. You loved having a person in the same house (your cousin Aleks) who was willing to play basketball with you at any moment. You had fun going to the baseball fields, making s’mores in Mubby and Skitter’s firepit, and sampling new sports drinks.

I can always count on you to have fun, especially when sports and treats and friends are involved. I love your cheerful nature and constant state of readiness for action and excitement. Sometimes it’s tiring, which is why it’s helpful that you get along so well with cousins and other kids. Whenever I hear balls banging around and people shouting in the basement, I can be sure it’s because you’ve talked Callum into a game of Hamper Ball.

Your current favorites: helping me cook and trying new foods, going to the pool, sleepovers, video games (alone and networked with your friends), special lunch dates downtown with food from Z’Marik’s, frozen yogurt, audiobooks, and sleeping in. You sometimes want to wake up early to play online games with your friends, but more often lately you’ve been enjoying a teenage schedule.

You’ve had a heck of a summer, and I hope you enjoy the last weeks of it, as well as your last weeks of being eleven. I couldn’t ask for a better tween.

Love,

Mom