The Law
I learned a new law today, the law that states that baby puke is magnetically attracted to clean shirts.
I decided to be a little self-indulgent this morning and take a shower, put on some makeup, dry my hair, and put on real clothes (e.g., not pajamas). Denny’s aunt and uncle are thinking of visiting this evening, and I thought it might be fun to look like a normal person for the occasion.
This was more complicated than you might think, since Miles didn’t want to stay asleep for much of it, and he required entertainment between each step. Finally I got it all done, and I picked him up for a cuddle.
Then he barfed on my shirt. I didn’t bother to change. Baby-puke white is the new black.
There is a specific clause in that law too that states the darker the shirt the more often barf shall come. This also applies to the nicer the shirt…
There’s also an equation that states that the niceness of the garment is directly proportional to the amount of baby vomit that will land on it. So don’t wear your Diane von Furstenberg dress around him.
Just make sure that when you change Miles that you keep a diaper on his ….. you know. Otherwise you’ll find out what I did with my son. Yellow may be the new black but it don’t smell so good!!!
ah, how quickly we go from the jet set lifestyle updates featuring views from picturesque Montreal to “baby pukes on shirt”.
Hysterical new law.
I should start making notes for my future self after reading some of your more recent findings.
Who says motherhood isn’t glamorous. 🙂