You know how usually you want the weekend to last and last? Well, this time I want the weekend to zoom by, because two exciting things are happening to me on Monday.

1. I can pick up my wedding dress from the alterations person. I’m glad I’m getting it with a fair amount of time before the wedding, because the alterations woman is a big old hippie and her store smells like patchouli. It will give me a chance to air out the dress before the wedding

2. I’m getting my piano! My parents have been threatening to get rid of the piano for years, but I always begged them not to, that I would take it when I got a place to keep it. Well, now that I’m a homeowner, that time has come. My dad (who is good at rigging up pulley systems) and brother (who is very strong) are going to help move it. I’m very excited.

Tonight, in all weirdness, I’m going to Sam’s Club to buy things like napkins and plastic forks for the wedding. I’m sorry if you think it’s tacky that we’re using plastic plates and forks. That’s just the way it’s gotta be. It’s a relaxed affair, after all. We are springing for real wine and beer glasses, because this is not a college kegger, people. You will not have to write your name on a plastic cup with a Sharpie.