Archiving Stuff my People Say, Spring 2018
March 28, 2018:
Callum was being sloppy with his frozen yogurt.
A: Please don’t do that. I do laundry almost every day and I don’t like it.
M: Join a nudist colony.
March 16, 2018:
T: The wish I made on a star came true!
A: Oh really? What was your wish?
T: That Mommy would love me forever.
A: Oh, that would have come true no matter what.
T: I should have wished for the foot shower to work.
February 16, 2018
A: You’re awfully handsome, Tobin.
T: I know.
(Pause)
T: Who wouldn’t be handsome in a broccoli shirt?
February 15, 2018
Over breakfast:
D: Does something smell bad?
A: Is it the garbage? Is it residual from last night’s dinner?
D: I don’t think so.
T: Is it your BREATH?
January 12, 2018:
In a conversation about Martin Luther King, Jr. and the still-existing racism in our country, including Trump’s recent racist B.S.:
T: He’s an A-word-hole. And an F-word-hole. Wait, there’s no F-word-hole. Actually, the A-word makes the F-word.
From this I gathered that he thinks the F-word is “fart.” I hope we both learned something today.
January 11, 2018:
Callum got some unspecified minor bonk. “I hurt my… [gesturing vaguely at his side] hippo.”
January 11, 2018:
“Are we just having…rubbish for dinner?” –Tobin, (hopefully) mischaracterizing the mishmash of leftovers and sandwiches we have on nights I can’t manage to cook something specific.
January 1, 2018:
Tobin and I were doing an activity about the five senses, and it prompted me to ask him what his favorite thing to smell is.
His answer: “Mommy’s armpit.â€
I’m so honored.
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