Dear Tobin,

You’re really teetering between big-boy life and little-boy life right now.  Most of the time you seem confident, in-charge, and ready for anything.  Other times, especially at bedtime, you really need Mom cuddles.  I’m happy to provide those, but it can be hard to tell exactly what you need at what moment.

Last night, we got an email from your teacher asking that you not bring your Pokemon book to school.  She was quick to reassure us that you’re doing great, and that it isn’t a big deal, but you’re having a substitute teacher today, and she wanted to reduce any potential issues the sub might face.  You and your friend Lucas have reignited a strong interested in all things Pokemon, and you asked your dad and me many times if you could bring your books, cards, and accessories to school.  We always said that we needed to talk to your teacher about it first, because it seemed like the kind of thing that might be a distraction.  We never got around to asking your teacher, and it wasn’t until I read her email that I realized you’d taken the book to school at all.

When I went to talk to you about it, you burst into tears.  In your position, I would have been devastated by my teacher’s criticism, so I told you about the part of her email where she talked about how well you’re doing and that it wasn’t something to worry about a lot.  I was wrong, though.  Your main concern wasn’t disappointing your teacher.  You were just upset that you were going to have to stop playing Pokemon at school.

It was hard to know how to reassure you on that point, since your response was so different from what mine would have been.  That’s how you are, though.  You get very passionate about a particular topic, which at the moment is Pokemon, and you can’t think about anything else until that phase is over.

You’re still a very social little guy.  This new friend Lucas is one you’ve never played with much before, but now you talk about him all the time.  I had lunch with you at school a week or two ago, and you sat by one old friend and a bunch of new ones.  You’re feeling bummed out that your good friend Ben is going to Germany for about half a year.  He’s someone you see every week at Family Folk Machine, plus you went to a camp together last summer and have had quite a few playdates.  It’s going to be sad to have his family be away for a while, but the good news is that they’re lending us their house while they’re gone.  That way we’ll have a backup place to stay while our house is under construction, and we can do basic housesitting tasks for them while they’re gone.  You’re very excited to try all of Ben’s instruments, especially his drum kit.

We’ve had some fun family get-togethers lately, including a trip to Des Moines to celebrate your dad’s Uncle Tom’s eightieth birthday.  You fell right in with your cousins and had a great time playing with them.  We also took a trip to Nana and Papa’s farm, and you spend almost the whole day playing outside.  You rode around in the tractor and on the four-wheeler with Papa, you jumped on (wet and squishy) hay bales, and you fell in love with one of the kittens.

Most of the farm cats are pretty shy, but this is one that Nana brought home that had obviously become accustomed to people.  You named it (gender yet to be determined) Whiskers and played with it a lot throughout the day.  I’m sure little Whiskers will be much bigger by the time we get out to the farm next, but it was still sweet to see you two play together.  You would have loved to bring it home with you, but the rest of us have too many allergies and too little interest in pet ownership.  When I was a kid, Skitter used to take me to the ISU horse barns and dairy farms to get my animal fix.  You have Nana and Papa’s farm to visit, so we’ll stick to enjoying the company of animals in an outdoor environment.

You, too, prefer an outdoor environment.  Cold weather can be hard on you, when it’s not as convenient to run and play outside.  We’ve gotten out a fair amount during the nice days of fall, but I’m glad you’ll have taekwondo to keep you active during the winter.

Your current favorites:  Pokemon in all its forms; bread with olive oil, parmesan, and herb dipping sauce (a new love you discovered at a dinner stop we made in Grinnell on the way home from Des Moines); Honey Nut Cheerios; laughing; and generally being a wild and crazy guy.

I love you, my sweet Tobin.  I might not know exactly when you need cuddles, but I’ll be there ready to scoop you up whenever you need me.

Love,

Mom