Dear Tobin,

The biggest update from this month is that you’ve started your third grade year online.  You’ve been doing great so far.  You need almost no help from me on the technical end of things, and the only reason you needed any help from me today with math was because you were using a self-guided system. You self-guided into some geometry, which was a little over your head, but not a lot. Your teacher called today for a regular check-in, and she said you’re participating, handling the online systems well, and getting your work turned in on time.  I really appreciate how well you’ve been doing, especially because I need to spend a lot of the day keeping Callum on track with his own learning.

One of your favorite hobbies right now is listening to audiobooks, and it’s common to see you walking around the house with earbuds, listening to the latest adventures of the Stuart Gibbs characters. You got hooked on Stuart Gibbs when we listened to the audiobook Spy Ski School on our drive to Colorado in the summer of 2019, and you’ve gotten interested in all things spy-related. You would really like to watch a James Bond movie, which your dad and I aren’t necessarily opposed to, but they’re hard to find on the streaming services.  It’s also hard to guess whether you’d actually enjoy something made in the ’60s for an adult audience. Who knows if you’d even understand Sean Connery’s accent.

You’ve held your dad and me to the precedent Miles set: haircuts end in third grade. I’m not sure whether you’ll let yours get as long as his. I kind of hope not, personally, just because you look so cute with your hair shorter. Your curls get sprongier when they’re cut in a more tidy way, but I don’t feel like hair is battle worth fighting. Your good friend Kit (Christopher) has a long ponytail, so you’re getting reinforcement from many directions that long hair is the thing to have.

You hadn’t seen Kit for a long time, and even though he’s in your class, you said you don’t get to do much socializing during online school. He and his sister, who is friends with Miles, came over to play outside with you guys yesterday, and you had so much fun. You did a good job wearing your mask and maintaining social distance, so I’m glad you got to enjoy some time with a friend. You came in at one point to get a drink, and you said, “I’m so happy it takes my breath away.”

You’re my most social kid, for sure. You have the kind of personality that attracts friends in all kinds of situations, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always mesh well with Miles’s. You and Callum usually get along, though you sometimes have a hard time knowing when to stop the teasing. That gets him riled up and he can get too rough with you. Miles doesn’t have the same need for physical play that you do, so Callum is your only suitable playmate for the wrestling arts, and it doesn’t always end well. When Miles gets frustrated with your high energy, I remind him that some day when he has kids and they’re driving him crazy, he can send them off to spend time with crazy Uncle Tobin.

We’re going to have to figure out some way to keep you active once the weather gets too cold for outdoor play. I enjoy doing workout videos, and you used to do them with me sometimes. Maybe we can do some more of those. You just got a new pair of athletic shoes, and you’re excited to take them out on a run with me this weekend. It’s supposed to be nice out, and I’m looking forward to getting out with you. Not surprisingly, you like the chat during the entire run, which limits the pace a bit, but it’s still a good time.

A new hobby you learned from Mubby and Skitter over the summer was poker. I don’t know if your skills are fully honed yet, but you enjoy it enough that you wrote an essay about it for one of your first school assignments this year. Your current teacher is Miles’s former sixth-grade teacher (a lot of reshuffling happened with this year’s changes), so hopefully she knows our family well enough to understand that it’s a wholesome hobby and not a descent into a seedy underworld.

Photo by Beth Clarke

Your current favorites: eating (you must be in a growth spurt, because you’re eating a lot these days), listening to your audiobooks, cracking jokes, running around the house and yard, and getting bloody noses. Actually that’s not your favorite, but you’ve been having them a lot lately. You have pretty bad fall allergies, and you rub your nose so hard that your poor little capillaries explode all over the place. I’ve been more vigilant about giving you nightly antihistamines lately, and that seems to help. It was a real horrorshow on your pillowcase the other morning. Thank goodness for Oxiclean.

You remain exciting, dynamic, and resilient. I’m so proud of how well you’re handling all these changes, and I know that you’re going to continue to thrive. We’ve got your back, Tobes.

Love,

Mom