Dear Tobin,

As I look through the pictures from this month, I can see that it has definitely been a transitional time, weather-wise. While you still prefer to live life without pants, it’s no longer practical, and you have begrudgingly moved to sweatpants. Earlier this month, we were still enjoying lots of outside time, watching the leaves change colors and even busting out the shorts now and then. Now, we’ve had a couple of snowfalls, one of which was big enough for you and Callum to put on snow gear and play outside. I imagine November will bring more of the same.

Fortunately, the forecast for Halloween is looking pretty good—not shorts-good, but good enough that we won’t have to hide your costume under layers of coats and mittens. You’ve chosen to be the Prowler, a character from the Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse series. It’s a pretty simple design, just dark purple pants and shirt with a lighter purple cape and mask. We still have some finishing touches to put on it, but our first Halloween-related event isn’t for a few days, so I think we’ll get it done.

Halloween will be a bit different this year. I’m not sure how many families will be trick-or-treating, and I definitely don’t want you and your brothers going up and ringing doorbells. Instead, we’re going to an event hosted by your dad’s workplace (an outdoor trunk-or-treat) the day before Halloween, and I’m planning to host a neighborhood candy hunt in our park on Halloween afternoon. Then, if we feel like wandering the streets a bit to see who’s sitting outside offering treats from the ends of their driveways, we can, but we can also keep it brief without having to skip all the Halloween fun. As long as the decent weather forecast holds, we’ll still have a good time.

School has been going well for you. I get a report from your teacher, and it seems like you’re participating well and learning. Your dad set up you up in our new downstairs home office, and you feel like a big shot with two monitors and a whole desk to yourself.  The school district generously and necessarily provided a Chromebook for every student, but yours is pretty old and slow, so this setup works better for you. You’ve been remarkably self-sufficient, only occasionally needing help with a science lab or a math problem. I’m really proud of how we’ll you’ve adjusted. You’ve had some outdoor playdates with one of your good friends, and you’ve had some online playdates with another friend. You’ve fallen under the spell of the ubiquitous game called Among Us, and that’s what you and your friend play online together. Miles got into it first, and of course you watched over his shoulder and became a skilled player yourself. To hear you two describe it, it’s a lot like the Werewolf game Miles has been obsessed with forever. I’m not sure why Among Us caught on the way it did, but everyone seems to be playing it. Even politicians are hosting online games as campaign fundraisers.

We’ve really been enjoying our new space, not only the downstairs office area for you but also the enlarged and improved kitchen and dining room. Our family cocktail hours have never been better lit. We’re still waiting on the outside to get finished. The last we heard, it was supposed to be done in a week, though I don’t see how that could be possible given the amount left to do. In any case, it will be a big relief to have the whole project finished so we can make use of all the space.

Your hair is getting enormous, and you have decided haircuts are not in your future. In a way it’s good you won’t be walking to school in cold weather this year, because I’d probably have to search hard to find a hat that would fit over your poofy hair. It’s getting impressive. Objectively, I think you look better with shorter hair, but you do not agree. I’m going to take some home-shot school pictures of you, because it would be strange to have a blank in our school photo collection for this year, and part of the school picture ritual is looking back and photos from years past. Maybe you’ll see your tidier-haired past self and be moved to recreate it. Also, maybe not. Really, it’s okay. Your wild hair has been a part of you since you moved past the bald-baby stage, and it certainly matches your personality.

Your current favorites: pepperoni pizza (a perpetual favorite that will probably be on this list for the rest of your life); laughing; the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series; playing and watching videos on the iPad; helping with any kind of project, especially if it has the potential to bring you financial gain; and generally being a nut.

You keep things lively, my dear Tobin. Every night as I kiss you goodnight, you said, “Do you promise not to leave me?” I always say yes, and then I ask you the same. I won’t hold you to that promise, since I know it’s normal and healthy for kids to grow up and find independence, but I would also be perfectly fine with having your silly self around as long as you want to be.

Love,

Mom