Stuff My People Say, lately
December 3, 2021:
“My foot feels like…Sprite.” – Callum, who had apparently been in one position too long.
December 2, 2021:
Callum’s teacher asked them to imagine a place they really love. She said she was imagining the beach, so she drew a picture of sand and waves and sky.
Callum chose Jimmy Jack’s Rib Shack.
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November 30, 2021:
Tobin found a hair in the ice cream I scooped for him.
A: Sorry about that. I didn’t use any hair products today, so at least it’s clean.
T: And they say other people’s decisions don’t affect your life.
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November 18, 2021:
Callum was playing with the wand Tobin got at Harry Potter World. Callum is hoping to go one day. I made some vague comment about going at some point in the future.
C: When are we going to go? When I’m in my sevens?
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November 7, 2021:
A joke from Callum:
C: What kind of jam does a pig like best?
A: What?
C: Chocolate jam.
A: Chocolate jam?
C: Get it? Because chocolate jam looks like mud? And they use mud for sunscreen?
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November 3, 2021:
“If you have a wedding with Dad and I’m invited, I’m definitely wearing these [high-heeled boots].” (His dad and I have been married for over 16 years.)
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November 1, 2021:
Callum: What’s your favorite color?
Aprille: Probably aqua blue.
Callum: Like Aquaphor?
We are a dry-skinned people.
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October 20, 2021:
Callum and I were talking about my life when I was his age, and I mentioned my friend Beth Furr (currently Liza Furr).
C: Beth like Mubby?
A: Yes, it’s the same name, but a different person. Do you remember Nana’s name?
C: I know it starts with /sh/.
A: (giving him a hint for “Cheryl”) Cher…
C: Sheriff!
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October 14, 2021:
Callum says our state bird is the Eastern Golden Flinch.
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October 13, 2021:
Callum just described his sense of smell as “long-distance tasting.”
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September 19, 2021:
On the topic of his brothers’ recent COVID exposures (both have tested negative) –
Callum: It would be the saddest if I got COVID because I feel like I’m the cutest.
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September 15, 2021:
Callum, immediately upon entering his library Zoom with our beloved Mrs. McCain:
“After school today, we’re going to a very special plant place called Wilson’s, and we’re going to pick apples, BACIFICALLY Honeycrisps.”
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September 13, 2021:
Callum just referred to his ribs as “the skull of my chest.”
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September 10, 2021:
I was trying to convince Callum to get out of bed.
C: Right now my legs are kind of…energy-less.
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September 7, 2021:
I was helping Callum get his materials organized for online art class with Buffy Quintero.
A: Did you know that Ms. Quintero and I used to be roommates? We shared an apartment in college.
C: Really?
A: Yep.
C: Wait, you did COLLEGE?
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I hope everyone goes to college.