Dear Artie,

Next month at this time I hope I am writing something like, “Your surgery went great, and you’re feeling totally back to normal.” At the moment, with it looming next week, we’re in the realm of anticipation and worry. A compounding issue was a recent COVID scare within our family. The deal with the surgery is that you have to have a negative test the day prior. If you are positive, we have to reschedule. With the months of back-and-forth, your doctor going to bat for you in search of approval from the Chief of Surgery to have it in the Main Operating Room, and challenges getting the scheduling people to call me back, I absolutely do not want anything to derail our plans. Most importantly, you’re starting high school next month, and you have marching band practice in early August. If we push the surgery any later, it’s going to make those things a lot more complicated.

Callum got a positive test result right after our multi-family trip to Innsbrook, Missouri, and we all freaked out a bit about that. I was probably the most freaked out, but you and the rest of the family did a good job keeping up with safety protocols to try to avoid infection. We all masked in the house, slept in separate bedrooms, and ate outdoors. I assigned you to the guest room downstairs, because it’s the most isolated from the rest of the household, and you are the one I most want to protect. While I think you will be glad to get back to your normal room, you did mention that the guest bed is very roomy and comfortable.

An additional issue was that our air conditioning went out right when we got back from our trip. Our initial plan was to go to Mubby and Skitter’s house a couple of days later, because your dad and I were going to drop you and your siblings off and then continue to a wedding elsewhere. We had to put the brakes on that plan, not only out of fear of infecting Mubby and Skitter, but also because of the possibility that they contracted COVID at the same time Callum did. We sweated in the house for a few days, canceled our plans for the wedding, and kept taking tests.

Miraculously, Callum’s test seems to have been a false positive. He never had any symptoms, nobody else tested positive, and he had two negative PCR tests and two negative rapid antigen tests after his initial positive. I didn’t realize false positives could happen (except maybe at the end of an infection, when the person is no longer sick or contagious but still has lingering COVID evidence), but apparently they can. It must have been a case of lab error. Once he’d had enough negative tests that I was satisfied, we headed to Mubby and Skitter’s and dropped our masks. This was supposed to be the week when you and your siblings stay with Mubby and Skitter on your own, but until we get the AC fixed, I’m sorry to say you’ll have to deal with your parents’ presence.

Our trip to Innsbrook was lots of fun. You and your cousins did a lot of outdoor things together, including lounging in the hot tub, swimming, making s’mores, and having a water fight. Your favorite part was probably when Uncle Tyler set up an experiment in which you tasted several different types of water (Aquafina, Dasani, and tap water) and tried to identify them. You went into the experiment sure that Aquafina was the best, but almost everyone mistook Dasani for Aquafina. Fortunately, nobody got too upset about being wrong and you all had a good time.

You’re kind and patient with little kids, which makes you a great big cousin and a good role model for the pack. You enjoy your alone time, which I understand; I enjoy alone time too. But I can always count on you to have an interesting contribution to a conversation and to respond to challenges with wit and aplomb. You’re even getting better at resisting Tobin’s goads. You showed me a song on YouTube, a parody of “Be Our Guest” called “You’ve Been Trolled.” It shows me that you’re growing aware of when arguing with someone is futile, especially when the person’s goal isn’t to prove any particular point, but rather to whip up an emotional response. That’s a very important skill to have in the media age (to recognize emotional up-whipping, not to cause it), so I’m glad you’re growing more savvy in that area.

We’re in a lull right now between events, so I hope you’re enjoying a relaxing week before things get wild and busy again. Apparently after your surgery it will be more comfortable for you to eat soft things, like pasta and ice cream, so I’ll be sure to load up on those. I’ve been so busy thinking about getting the surgery scheduled and keeping you COVID-free so you can have it on time that I’ve barely had time to fret about the surgery itself. From what I understand, it’s not a super complicated medical event, though your particular tumor is deep in your parotid gland. The parotid gland is a salivary gland, so I wonder if you’ll have trouble doing the spit-based COVID tests we typically do. My research tells me that the other salivary glands make up for the removed one in the case where the whole gland is removed, and I don’t even think that will be the case for you. Still, I hope you can spit and drool to whatever extent is useful for you. We’re also on the lookout for facial paralysis, which is a risk because a major facial nerve runs right through the parotid gland. The surgeon emphasized that he and his team will be very, very careful about that. That was big reason I was glad he was granted his request to have you in the Main OR, because he said the nursing staff there is better equipped to support him in that work. In any case, I’ll be there the whole time, either directly by your side or in the adjacent fretting room.

Even if you do have some nerve damage, I understand that it’s usually not permanent. It just might make it a bit difficult to play trombone a couple of weeks later. Or maybe it will add an interesting new layer to your musicianship.

Your current favorites: grapes, pasta, Minecraft, Mario Maker, white t-shirts, Doritos, absurdist jokes, and hanging out online with your friends. I hope you enjoy your return to animation camp and your beginnings as a marching trombonist.

I love you so much, my sweet-Art. I’m glad the person who is going to cut your neck open is confident, experienced, and well-supported. I hope you continue to develop into a person who is confident, experienced, and well-supported.

Love,

Mom