My dear Artemis,

A few days ago, we celebrated your fifteenth birthday. It’s getting harder and harder to buy gifts for you, because you’re in that life stage where you’re too old for most toys and too young for household items. You asked for a green screen for video making, and I hope you’re able to come up with some creative uses for it. We had a good time having cocktail hour, your favorite home-cooked dinner (linguine with homemade tomato sauce), and ice cream cake. The next day, we all went to the trampoline park to celebrate both you and Callum. I’m still a little sore, but it was fun for all of us to be boing-boinging together. You beat Tobin at jousting, and his birthday present to you was not throwing a fit about it.

While your grades in school are still excellent, you seem to be in a bit of slump in terms of interests and ambitions. A couple of opportunities have recently come up to audition for arts endeavors, and you haven’t seemed very interested. Your dad and I were prodding you to audition for Wind Ensemble, the highest concert band at your school, and you got rather defensive about it. I tried to frame it with the understanding that it was totally okay not to get in, that there are only two trombone slots available, and auditions are open to all grades in the high school. Your dad and I talked about how the audition process itself is good for growth and how it would show the band directors that you’re someone to consider down the road. You were not interested. You said the music is hard enough in the non-auditioned band and that you didn’t want to do it.

That was a frustrating attitude to encounter, because I want you to challenge yourself and try things that will push you. You have natural musical talent, but so do a lot of other kids at your school, and you’re not going to get far coasting on talent alone. It doesn’t seem like you’ve always been this way. We were talking about the elementary school spelling bee that we’re hoping to revive this spring, and it made me think about how hard you worked to prepare for that in past years. You always went in well-prepared, and while you’re a strong speller naturally, your studying made a clear difference. I was hoping your success in that arena would send the message that you can find fulfillment through challenge and hard work. I get that it’s scary to face difficult tasks and that it’s much easier to just hang out in your room, but I want more for you than that.

Photo by Gary Clarke

The other audition opportunity is for the spring musical. The school is putting on Mamma Mia, and I think it would be great for you to be involved in any capacity. Being in the cast of a play is exciting, but it’s just as important and valuable for community-building to work on sets, costumes, lighting, or any other behind-the-scenes task. You’ve expressed interest in being involved in theater in the past, so I really hope you give this a try. The excuse you gave me when I mentioned that was that you’d never seen Mamma Mia. Well, lo and behold, the movie version is on Hulu. I see a family movie night in our future.

I feel conflicted about how hard to push this topic, because I don’t believe in forcing kids to do or be things that are more about the parents’ identities than their own. On the other hand, I want you to get involved in something beyond the bare minimum. You’re doing jazz band, which is great, but branching out into some other extracurriculars is a great way to explore other interests and build friendships. Since theater seems to be something you enjoy, I hope you will take this challenge.

I am thrilled to update any readers of this blog (hi, close relatives) that your latest scoliosis appointment indicated that your curve is holding steady. Because your pediatrician caught it at only 21 degrees, our great hope was that bracing would prevent the curve from increasing. Growth spurts are a common time when curves worsen, and you’ve certainly gone through a spurt in the last year. Our biggest wish is to avoid surgery, because it’s a pretty major procedure to rearrange a person’s spine. You might not hate lying in bed for three months straight, but you wouldn’t enjoy the pain or the indignity of needing a parent to help you go to the bathroom. Thanks to your diligent brace-wearing, your spine is still firmly in the reasonable category. I hope it stays that way as you continue your growth.

Your current favorites: Minecraft, pasta, Panda Express orange chicken, the music of Quadeca, hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream, board and card games, and highly spirited dinner table conversations. I don’t know how you and Tobin don’t get upset, considering all the verbal sparring you do, but it’s usually only the adults in the room who get annoyed.

You are smart, thoughtful, and use words well. Your teachers comment on your wittiness, and I see evidence of that all the time. I know that when you find your niche, you will do exciting and fulfilling things. I encourage you to use the next year to explore, take risks, and rebound from life’s inevitable setbacks. It is my great honor to be your mom, and I am so happy for all the steps I’ve taken with you. I can’t wait to see your next ones.

Love,

Mom