12/7/2018

Archiving Stuff my People Say: Winter 2017

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:41 pm

December 26, 2017

Tobin: Miles, if you have skin, and you speak English or Spanish or something like that, you’re human.

December 22, 2017

Aw, Callum.

A: You’re such a good boy.
C: (reaching over and hugging me) YOU’RE such a good boy.

December 17, 2017

Callum is in a very “I do it all by myself” stage, including reciting our bedtime ritual.

A: I love you, my little sweetheart. Night ni—

T: *I* say it. Night night, sleep tight, don’t let bedbugs bite. That’s right!

A: I love you.

T: I love MYSELF.

 

Archiving Stuff my People Say, Spring 2018

Filed under: — Aprille @ 8:34 pm

March 28, 2018:

Callum was being sloppy with his frozen yogurt.

A: Please don’t do that. I do laundry almost every day and I don’t like it.
M: Join a nudist colony.

March 16, 2018:

T: The wish I made on a star came true!
A: Oh really? What was your wish?
T: That Mommy would love me forever.
A: Oh, that would have come true no matter what.
T: I should have wished for the foot shower to work.

February 16, 2018

A: You’re awfully handsome, Tobin.
T: I know.
(Pause)
T: Who wouldn’t be handsome in a broccoli shirt?

February 15, 2018

Over breakfast:

D: Does something smell bad?
A: Is it the garbage? Is it residual from last night’s dinner?
D: I don’t think so.
T: Is it your BREATH?

January 12, 2018:

In a conversation about Martin Luther King, Jr. and the still-existing racism in our country, including Trump’s recent racist B.S.:

T: He’s an A-word-hole. And an F-word-hole. Wait, there’s no F-word-hole. Actually, the A-word makes the F-word.

From this I gathered that he thinks the F-word is “fart.” I hope we both learned something today.

January 11, 2018:

Callum got some unspecified minor bonk. “I hurt my… [gesturing vaguely at his side] hippo.”

January 11, 2018:

“Are we just having…rubbish for dinner?” –Tobin, (hopefully) mischaracterizing the mishmash of leftovers and sandwiches we have on nights I can’t manage to cook something specific.

January 1, 2018:

Tobin and I were doing an activity about the five senses, and it prompted me to ask him what his favorite thing to smell is.

His answer: “Mommy’s armpit.”

I’m so honored.

 

Archiving Stuff my People Say (Summer 2018)

Filed under: — Aprille @ 1:32 pm

August 28, 2018:

Callum was playing a game and got thwarted by a pop-up.

C: Will you help me close this…ad…itude?

Later:

C: It’s ad-ituding again!

August 27, 2018:

Callum was digging around in his nose.

A: Is it kind of boogery in there?
C: Yes. Can you get it out?

[I make a mostly-feigned attempt.]

A: Sorry, I can’t. Would you like to use a Kleenex and blow your nose?
C: Try your pinkie.

July 19, 2018:

C:  This Pez dispenser has no Pez. Can we fill it with yes Pez?

July 16, 2018:

T: The oldest woman in the world died recently.
M: Who was the oldest man?
T: I don’t have Wikipedia in my head, Miles.

July 10, 2018:

“You piece of… PORK!” –Tobin, insulting Miles as gravely as could muster.

June 26, 2018:

Callum, after accidentally launching a video ad on a game he was playing:

C:  What the heck did I DID?

June 21, 2018:

T: This rain is good for the garden! And the bushes! And the hostages!

.
.
.
(Hostas)

June 19, 2018:

A: Dang it, where did I put my coffee?
C, very tenderly: I can give you hug.

June 6, 2018:

T: Were cars invented in your day, Mom?

 

 

Archiving Stuff my People Say (Fall 2018)

Filed under: — Aprille @ 10:30 am

November 5, 2018:

I was attempting to cuddle and nuzzle Callum.

C: Don’t rub me ’cause I have lots of makeup on.

October 29, 2018:

Before we went grocery shopping, Callum and I both needed to use the bathroom.

A: Do you want to go first, or should I?
C: You go first.
A: Okay.

[I headed in the direction of the bathroom, only to find Callum very mad at me.]

C: I was talking to MYSELF.

October 22, 2018:

Callum and I were discussing who might sleep in our guest room.

C: Mubby and Skitter.
A: Yes, and…?
C: Nana and Papa.
A: Yes, and…?
C: Aunt Shannon.
A: Yes, and…?
C: And whobody else?

October 17, 2018:

Callum was getting started on a painting project, and I mentioned that his brothers would be home soon.

C: So Miles can see my beautiful arting!

October 12, 2018:

I was hemming pants for Denny to wear to a wedding we’re attending tomorrow.

C: Are you working on Daddy’s costume?

September 29, 2018:

[Note to future readers:  we went to the local Oktoberfest event and volunteered with trash management and also stayed to enjoy the festivities]

 Callum, spontaneously recounting the day’s activities:

“I played in a bouncy house and a slide and I got a balloon and a drink and music and garbage!”

September 27, 2018:

T: Can I take a walk around the potato sack?
A: The what?
T: The potato sack.
A: Do you mean the cul-de-sac?
T: No, the potato sack.
A: What’s the potato sack?
T: The same as what you said.

September 24, 2018:
T: I just love making the “puh” noise. It’s so satisfying. Puh, puh, puh.
A: When you were a baby, you loved the “kuh” sound. [Referring to video linked here]
T: Actually, I still find that amusing.

September 19, 2018:
A: What’s that?
C: It’s for Play-Doh.
A: Oh, a Play-Doh thingy.
C: No, an extruder.

September 17, 2018:

Callum and I were watching a cooking video together.

A: What’s your favorite food?
C: Pepperoni pizza!
A: What’s Tobin’s favorite food?
C: Wheat Thins!
A: What’s Miles’s favorite food?
C: Strawberries!
A: What’s Daddy’s favorite food?
C: Chocolate cake!
A: What’s my favorite food?
C: (pausing to consider) Juicy.
A: Juicy?
C: … SUSHI!

September 17, 2018:

Callum made it to the bathroom without waiting too long and dribbling in his underpants, which has been an issue lately.

C: Are you so proud of me?
A: I am!
C: Will you do a dance for me?
A: Uh…sure.

Then I did a dance of honor and celebration as limited by the confines of our small bathroom.

September 11, 2018:

Miles was trying to explain the planets to Callum.

M: They’re big balls that float around in space.

C: I can pick it up?

M: No, they’re much too big and heavy for you to pick up.

C: It goes all the way to the ceiling!
—

 

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